In case you’ve been under a rock…

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i’d like to share something with you.

Pros dope.

“I am glad that a decision was made,” Ullrich said. “It ends a chapter in my cycling career and marks the end of a very difficult time for me and my family.”

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About bikepunk

“Cuts, scrapes, bruises… all in a day’s riding. Then it’s off for some good german beer in a local biergarten.” Munich, Germany

67 Replies to “In case you’ve been under a rock…”

  1. the Kaiser shows he is human

    “The mistake I made was not to admit it publicly,” added Ullrich. “This issue haunted me so much that I became sick and eventually collapsed.”

    Like Hamilton, Landis and Lemond, Ullrich seems to understand that the big lies do more damage to yourself in the long run.

    I always liked Ullrich which is more than I could say for most racers.
    Wonder when that robot sociopath from Austin will finally admit to all his cheating?…oh that’s right, he got away with it!

    No remorse, regret or weakness from Armstrong. Just winning.

  2. …the kaiser is back to riding bikes (lotta grand fondos) & enjoying himself once again…

    …i’m glad for the man & at this point, i seriously doubt he gives a shit about the few race wins & placings that were stripped from his record…

    …props, herr ulrich…

  3. not so fast BGW, he’ll deserve props when he pulls back the curtains, and gives names, places, and bank account numbers. Until that point, he is another omerta participant that got caught out. but then that might ruin his gran fondo appearance fees…

  4. more cyclists should be like the Kaiser. I sensed that during his brides maid years (second to lance’s superior natural ability), his discouraged face showed more than a dissatisfaction in his ability, but in the systems ability, and so he doped. Nice to see him come full circle. I hope it’s on the up & up for him now. He’s probably a Drunk Cyclist. Hopefully, he’s one that can laugh at the stupidity of competitive cycling.

  5. …it’s not gonna happen that way, barry…as gnomer & cap’n tony allude to, this is a very personal process for any of these guys…it’s a public apology to a private matter…

    …yes, they were caught cheating or their veracity was questioned but at this point in their lives, i honestly think it weighs heavy on their conscience & it feels good for them to clear the air…

    …these are men who had a strong natural ability to begin with & they got caught up in the status quo…i’m just glad to see a few of ’em admit to their own fallibility but it’s a personal choice & it’s up to the others to chose…

    except ***cancer jesus***(hallelujah) who’s superiority should not be questioned

  6. …btw…besides cancer j, i’ll bet contador NEVER comes to grips with admitting or publicly apologizing for his involvement with enhancements once his career is over…

    …he does have a new business venture he can fall back on though, once the fame & glory have passed him by…

    …nice opportunity…

  7. Thanks, Joe for speaking up for the great unwashed masses…of asses. It’s true most people don’t care about doping in sports. “So what?” they say.

    I would assume, maybe incorrectly, that these same people who don’t care about cheating in the sport they love also don’t care about armed robbers, millionaires who hide their vast wealth in offshore accounts to avoid paying their fair share of taxes, sneak thieves, pathological liars, the local mechanic who rips them off on a brake job, some ignorant sucker who runs down a cyclist and then gets off scot-free, their wife or husband who cheats on them behind their back or their friends who badmouth them when they’re not around.

    So what?

    Ethics is ethics. You either get it or you don’t.

    I’m not saying people like Ullrich, Hamilton, Landis or Riis are saints. Christophe Bassons had real courage to challenge omerta and it ended his career. But who cares? Who cares that the mafia run pro cycling?

    So what?

    Now that my long winded rant about something that no one cares about is over, it’s time for some completely off-topic, inappropriate punk rock.

  8. @ DC Turtle God

    Yes I am fucked up. I am a car carrying member of the immoral minority. The Anti Nowhere League have a certain demented over the top charm to them if you’re fucked up like me.

    And Radiohead? They’re uber gay. They’re gay to the nth power. Really just what the FUCK was that?

    Here’s a video you might enjoy. Just play the Radiohead song over it,

  9. I feel a need for the healing effect of The Bill Evans Trio, “Live at the Village Voice”.

  10. pro cycling is ENTERTAINMENT folks. 100% manufactured product for our consumption.

    it’s common knowledge all elite entertainers, whoops i mean athletes “dope”, should we hold the same moral candle to actors and musicians?

    are we upset because they broke the “rules”? it seems the outrage is aimed at self-righteousness, lies and covering up rather than the actual doping.

    public opinion, guilt, God (or kharma or whatever) and their own wasted bodies will exact a heavy price.

    i’m just sayin…

  11. …@ indysolar…“…it’s common knowledge all elite entertainers, whoops i mean athletes “dope”………”

    …whitney houston just got sanctioned by ‘the court for arbitration of life’

    …girl got hooked on the worst kinda shit – a habit named bobby brown & the residual effects killed her…

    …she started dying the moment she was introduced to that shit…

  12. @indysolar
    Musicians and artists have no “rules” against doping. In fact, I always thought it was mandatory that “creative” people do drugs. Look at all the writers with drinking problems. What self respecting musician isn’t high?

    Pro sports have become more corrupt and dirty because of the money at stake, IMHO. But that’s another argument that no one cares about.

    Just don’t call it sport if it’s fixed or if everyone is a junkie.

    If it’s entertainment call it that.

    no more Tour de France instead say L’exhibition de France

    bring back Trophee des Grimpeurs and rename it Trophee des Dopeurs

    or how about going full corporate at the

    Amgen Epo/Unimed Pharmaceuticals AndroGel testosterone gel Tour De CALIfornia powered by the Mexican methamphetamine drug cartels

    And I know no one cares. I just love the smell of a napalm rant in the morning.

  13. Doping is generally encouraged in the music industry. Remember that Bill Hicks bit about all your favorite musical artists who wrote all your favorite songs being rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeaaaallllllyyyy fucking high on drugs….

    See? It has its applications. Pretty sure cycling shouldn’t be one of them, though.

  14. If yer gonna be a clown, put on the fucking makeup. Otherwise it’s just simple jack-assery. This mythical land where humans don’t put chemical compounds in and on their bodies to enhance the chances for survival and improve their quality of life is just that, a myth, it is probably the same place where I’m tall and get laid all the time, like a boss. BUT, there are rules, Keith. So what. For every rule you write up there are a thousand people who want to win so badly they will do anything, anything.

  15. cap’n Tony, i am looking forward to full disclosure from the man from austin. but our dear texas hero has one extreme advantage in the denial/sociopathy department over men like hamilton, ullrich, landis, and others who are honest about their doping histories: he has his alcoholism. lying and rationalizing the appropriateness of lying are defining features of alcoholism and addiction. and so his diseased brain may never allow any kind of truth to be told.

    lies increase the shame people experience. and, as you’ve stated, this is harmful to the self. as part of an effort to alleviate shame and stress, normal people will confess and seek forgiveness. on the other hand, addicts avoid the perceived discomfort of increased shame of exposure by attacking their critics or emotionally disconnecting from them and then continuing with compulsive/addictive behaviors (partially to relieve the new stress of having to deal with folks who “don’t get it.”)

    as long as lance armstrong has some sort of exercise-related outlet for his negative emotional energy he will be able to not use substances (such as his beloved Michelob) and he’ll cruise along at his current level of semi-impaired emotional functioning – there’ll be drama, threats, suits, allegations, shattered relationships, vitriol, and lots and lots of resentment. the typical circus that is an addict’s existence.

    the irony of lance’s life as a doper, liar, cheater, dysfunctional husband and father, and alcoholic is this: a confession and full explanation may in fact earn him an exponential increase in sympathy and adoration from his fans and non-fans alike. displays of courage and mature judgment and the simple ability to do what is ethically correct in spite of possible consequences are admired and respected. by altering his approach to the moral dilemma of his dark history he can radically alter the way he is perceived by the public. harley flanagan of the cro mags might say “he can change his whole shit!”

    nice ANL vid too. another band covers that both with and without Animal. but it’s a bit strange to hear hetfield state what he did to the poor goat.

  16. @Tomasz Dolak I think that’s the first time I’ve ever heard anyone suggest Armstrong is an alcoholic. I have no doubt he self-medicates. Heavily. Wouldn’t anyone self-medicate if they had that brand to uphold?

    The greatest cyclist of all time, concerned father and husband and Cancer Jesus all rolled into one neat little package called Livestrong.

    I figured him for a sociopath/narcissist/borderline personality disorder type. My brother shows the same asshole personality traits as Armstrong so I’ve seen it up close and personal.

    But you know we’re all just speculating about a guy we’ve never met and the worst thing about it is we’ll probably never know now that his money and political connections have ended the investigation.

    I’m just glad I’m not Lance Armstrong. I don’t know how self aware he is but he’s gotta live with himself. No thanks.

    Being a first wave Punk, I’m talking 1970’s, it’s refreshing to listen to bands like ANL again, over the top, tongue in cheek nastiness. If I get ear raped by one more EMO band I’m gonna drive a screwdriver into my eardrum.

  17. Dolak must be on his rounds of addiction tourism. I feel about the same way about him as I do about cancer jebus. Yawn. Snore. Go away.

  18. guys in recovery shrug at the thought of armstrong as alcoholic: “pfft, he’s one of us.” i circulated a copy of daniel coyle’s “lance armstrong’s war” among a bunch of 12 steppers. the consensus was “why is this even a question? sure he’s holding it together, sort of, but take away his compulsive exercise and watch him implode.”

    the poor fella has all the requisite alcoholic/addict behaviors which follow a trauma history (an insane mother + where’s my dad?!) including, lying, blaming, inability to regulate emotions internally, impulsiveness, immature psychological defenses, vicious attacks on critics, inability to tolerate emotional intimacy, chaotic and short-lived relationships, extreme interest in controlling all situations, and a strong affinity to use alcohol to relieve anxiety and depression.

    shame is at the core of alcoholic and addict behavior. shame is exacerbated by chronic attempts to maintain a socially acceptable front (such as bike champ, LAF hero, and family man) while working hard to conceal one’s true, unlikeable, and flawed nature. this concealment is motivated by the firm belief that the addict would be rejected by everyone in his life if they knew what he was really like. it’s a nasty cycle of exhausting self-loathing and deception. and it creates massive amounts of anxiety which must be soothed with drugs or drug-like behaviors.

    cap’n T, your brother sounds interesting. his behavior, like all maladaptive behavior, serves to protect him in some way: the bigger the asshole, the bigger the psychic wound he’s covering.

  19. Dolak, you better make a dick joke or two pretty soon, or else I’m going to start getting the feeling that you’re a buzz killington.

  20. Wonders never cease, Bicycle Jesus being called out for being an alcoholic on

    When did the Apocalypse start? It started now.

  21. aw jeez, now I’m feeling all squishy and conflicted inside. I mean, It’s always been fun hatin’ on Lance, but if these allegations of drinking are true, well it cast him in with our lot. I’d ride and drink with Lance any day. (He has to pull more, though.)

  22. Alcoholic or not Lancy Pants is still a psychopath dick-wad.

    I’d pour a drink on his head then find someone decent to drink with. Like the local homeless hobo. At least ya’d get some honesty from him.

  23. …personally, i don’t wanna drink or ride with cancer jesus

    …i respect 7 tour wins, doped as he & everyone else was but hoist a few & turn the cranks with the guy ???…

    …not fuckin’ likely…

    …the whole time i’d be thinkin’ about shit i’d wanna ask him & knowing the whole time i’d be getting the usual livestrong pablum’ for answers…just lies & innuendos…

    …no thanks…

  24. I don’t know, guys. Seems to me that he played by the system and pulled it off. If you don’t like it, why blame Lance? Seems to me that Big Money and the System are to blame. Lance is just a crafty rascal as far as I can tell. There was some fucker named Diamond Jim Something that got into a lifeboat on the Titanic dressed as as woman. But I bet ol’ Diamond Jim couldn’t ride a bicycle worth a shit.

    What I’m saying is this: given a clean playing field where it was ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN that no one was doping, my money would have been on Armstrong. He is an animal, a wild animal that truly believes that defeat is death. The fact that some of you condemn him for not being gracious in defeat tells me you haven’t been in the game. Graciousness is a beautiful thing, but animals don’t do it.

    I never used to give a fuck about bicycle racing. Sometimes today I still get pissed at some Peloton of Peacocks taking up more road than they really need. But ultimately, I am a cyclist. It starts and ends my day. It is what I live and breath.

    I don’t have to answer to any of you fuckers for who I am and how I ride: neither does Lance Armstrong. He faced them down and made them blink. If Lance doesn’t do it first, I would smack the shit out of Tyler Hamilton. I was watching that interview on 60 Minutes. Tyler knew even as he said what they told him to say that someday he would have to face the accused.

    And I would never have heard of Tyler Hamilton if not for Lance Armstrong; Floyd Landis would be the guy serving me a burger at Burger King (if I ate that shit) and the Tour de France, as far as I would know, would be something related to wine and cheese.

    yer pal, TJ

  25. Now, I think LA is kind of a douche bag, but just because he didn’t stop and hug the guy that beat him doesn’t make him *more* of a douche bag. If it was me crossing the line I’d be focused solely on not puking my guts out in front of the media and also wondering where the hell I could find a cold beer.

  26. I agree with TP cyclist that big money and the system are to blame. Pros have been doping forever and Lance just decided to play by the rules of cycling and be the best doper of them all beating the euros at their own game. I guess it helped that he responded well to the drug of choice at that time:EPO.

    I’d bet that most people who follow the sport are more irritated by Armstrong’s asshole personality and all the dirt that should have come out had the investigation not been highjacked. Just what was that “contribution” to UCI all about? It sure wasn’t about fighting doping. Kinda strange that all his competition over the years tested positive while Fraudstrong was protected by the very same organization that he “donated” money to.

    Speaking of highjacking, why does some douchebag always highjack these DC posts? Oh wait, that was me, comment #2. Bikepunk’s post was originally about Ullrich not Armstrong.

    I’d rather hoist ein Maß of beer with Ullrich than Armstrong anyday.

    Möchten Sie ein Bier, Kaiser?

  27. …@ trailerpark cyclist…while i’d fundamentally agree with you, the truth is that the playing field was never level once armstrong came back…

    …i was & even now remain a fan of the ‘cyclist’ who won those 7 tours de france because you don’t consistently perform at that level unless you ARE pretty phenomenal, no matter your motivation or source of stimulation…

    …as you allude to, he’s (almost) sociopathic in his focus & originally, i loved that dominating shit ON THE BIKE, witness ‘the look’ with herr ulrich…

    …but after the cancer episode, armstrong & bruyneel, backed by plenty of funds & medical support ‘through’ livestrong, got to play by a different set of rules…

    …& the dominating shit, the intimidation, the denial OFF THE BIKE is a whole different story…to some extent (i hate to say this) dolak might be right about armstrong’s traits but either way, he’s hooked up for the rest of his life…

    …so, for the rest of his life, he’ll still get to play by that different set of rules…

  28. TPC#42 +1.

    Word, brother. Keep the rubber side down.

    And I’d still ride with Lance. And make him pull the whole fucking time.

  29. D2, rock on braugh. my focus is on them’s that’s having trouble with life because of trauma and subsequent developmental deficits. armstrong is thus a superb case study. DC, it is understood and accepted, exists for those who delight in both ethyl alcohol, that lovely two-carbon compound, and certain two-wheeled contraptions.

    judi, you are spot on about the self-centered thing. you might have heard someone in a meeting say “i’m not much but i’m all i think about.” lance is that guy, that guy whose thoughts rarely concern anyone other than himself and what he perceives as his needs. self-absorption marker for empathic failure – he cannot and will not consider or respond sensitively to the emotions, motivations, or values of other human beings. the inner lives of other people are just plain mysteries to addicts. i would speculate lance gives an excessive amount of energy to 1) subduing the negative emotions related to his father abandoning him and 2) creating and nurturing resentments and then plotting against those who he fears would harm him. these are full time activities which might consume resources he could otherwise use to connect with and know other human beings.

    triple T, in his current state, yes, lance seems like you say – a psychopath dickwad. but he’s untreated, no therapy, no recovery, no relief from the shame and self-hatred. watch what he becomes if he ever decides to do his personal work. i bet it’ll be a stunning change.

    TPC, that lance doped is not even controversial anymore. it may never have been controversial among euopeans who are much more in tune with cycling realities. rational people accept lance doped throughout his career and whipped everyone’s ass and that doping was the expected norm for his colleagues as well. this entire thread is more related to his motivation for not openly discussing his doping – why there’ll be no ullrich-like apology.

    BGW, you’ve got it, mate: lance’s interpersonal behaviors are problematic not his racing, not the recognition he alone has brought to the sport, not LAF. somebody once summed it up like “armstrong – 9 out of 10 on the bike. 2 out of 10 off the bike.”

    i’d ride with lance. i’m surrounded by guys and gals in much worse psychological condition than him every day. they have things about them which makes it challenging to tolerate them. but, looking past the nasty stuff, it is not hard to see admirable traits. sure it’s easy to identify sociopathic, psychopathic, dickwad, and douchebag characteristics in him. but my experience with addicts assures me there is a perfectly wonderful, tender, caring, sensitive, vulnerable side of lance.

  30. Dolak, I read that whole thing and didn’t read a single dick joke. You’re going to need to try again please.

  31. dolak is so single-minded and obsessive about making the world fit his view that he doesn’t even realize that judi was talking about him… He wouldn’t know a dick joke if he were sucking on it.

  32. jefe, my response to judi was the gentlest reminder to her that she, as one who struggles with addiction, may never know the motivations, thoughts, emotions, desires, and values of others (including me). empathy involves seeing the world as others see it. that is impossible for addiction sufferers. their energy goes elsewhere. the differences between the addict brain and the non-addict brain are fundamental. the likelihood an addict will accurately read and comprehend a non-addict is small.

    that being said, neither her statement nor yours are troubling or offensive. i deal with much worse routinely.

  33. “empathy involves seeing the world as others see it.”

    Something you have shown zero ability to do. You tell people how you think it is (as long as it conforms to your model), without actually knowing much about them.

    I don’t think you’re a bad person, just a crappy critical thinker. You haven’t shown any ability to put the models you are learning into any larger contex or to comprehend that they aren’t perfect, and you exhibit an obsessive fascination with addicts. Maybe it really is out of empathy. I don’t know, but what you project is a condescending and holier-than-thou attitude. Take a few steps back and listen to yourself. Tell a dick joke every now and then. Make every third or fourth conversation about addiction. Not every one.

    keep the rubber side down.

  34. jefe, the condescension thing you’re mentioning is is worth addressing. a study of addiction reveals an ironic twist to how we might think about addict/non-addict hierarchy.

    i said earlier:

    November 18th, 2011 at 11:52 pm

    “…truth is, addicts are superior to non-addicts in terms of survivability after early trauma. i recognize after interviewing hundreds of addicts about their childhoods that if i had to endure the same abuse they did – i’d be dead. i lack the gene(s) for addiction so i would not have the option of effectively using substances to escape from overwhelmingly negative mood states like anxiety and depression which plague trauma survivors. so if i’d been beaten/abandoned/molested as a kid, instead of getting loaded to anesthetize myself i’d be swallowed up by powerful emotions – and then i’d off myself to make it stop.”

    “following trauma, addiction improves the chances an individual will survive and pass his/her genes on. the ability to check out emotionally with drugs and drug-like behaviors is a genius evolutionarily trick some have and it literally makes them better – superior – to non-addicts.”

    thing is, if you listen to addicts describe their lives you’ve just got to conclude it’s a miracle they can somehow continue living. they may not be wired to be curious about or to understand other people – but they sure as shit are wired to struggle. that gets my respect.

  35. I don’t think Dolak is necessarily clueless, but I think it’s fair to say he’s the most boring fucking commenter on DC.

    Seriously. Talk about a tit, just one time. Or at least mention a freewheel or something.

  36. @Dolak

    That’s the perfect gem for you.

    You are nothing but a chronic masturbater.

    And that is coming from a chronic wanker myself.

    So I know.