About D2

I am a writer and a photographer. I never killed a man in Reno, but I once rode a bike through a casino in Vegas. Bikes are cool, huevos rancheros are for breakfast, whiskey is for dinner. Denver, Colorado, USA

45 Replies to “This Bike Can Read Your Mind”

  1. I love where bar-top cyclocomputers are going. It’s still a little bleeding-edge, but time/distance/cadence/HR and a map could be downright useful.

    As for “aero,” tortured cable routings and adding weight while sacrificing tubing stiffness seems like style, not function. But I’m old and slow and I’ve never even ridden a TT bike.

  2. @FFF: Too busy getting all lickkkered up to look for a job. Someone will just GIVE me one anyway, right? Right?!?!

  3. That xtranormal clip was darned amusing.

    I’ve been unemployed for 2.5 years now and it’s been fucking awesome. I get about sixty ski days a year (out my front door and all over the west) and about 100 days riding. The rest of the time I drink beer and blast rock and roll on my gigantic stereo. It’s a lifestyle I’d recommend to anyone.

  4. finally, something more repellant than a segway.

    cause bikes aren’t gagety and expensive enough.

    fuck you parlee.

  5. …man…the film & sound quality of that clip is so flat that i’m starting to suspect it’s a cartoon, not a live home video…

    …but then again, all the phoenix / flagstaff attitude & sentiment is stuff i’ve seen expressed here on drunkcyclist, so it must be real…

  6. Yeah, for the record, I’m totally not on board with this mind control bike bullshit. Ride your bike. Think about shifting, then use your fingers to do it. How freaking lazy are we becoming?

  7. @BGW,

    TripleF is just being supportive & encouraging like we all should be.



    We’ve got to get D2 back working for the man & dying a little bit each day before the unthinkable happens.

    He drops out & heads to some Asian paradise like Thailand or Vietnam & lives cheaply, supplementing his income by teaching English to awesome Asian babes.

    We have to prevent this!

    Wait a minute ….

  8. Dooode. I don’t have a computer on any of my bikes. I don’t give a SHIT how far I ride. I don’t give a flying fuck how fast I ride. I spent many many years on the watch as a runner…and it took the fun right out after a while. I do not understand the desire to quantify a ride.

    I’m firmly with joe and jefe on this one.

    And Sailor Jerry rum after a nice ride on a 50 degree day in December is working nicely for me.

  9. “I do not understand the desire to quantify a ride.”

    sfb— Because you can’t hide. It’s a calories in/calories out deal. More miles & more speed = more beer.

  10. I dunno Mikey….I’m doing just fine not counting that shit. In fact…the cool part to me is…every year I fall even deeper in love with the bike.

    I am a purist when it comes to athleticism…running, full-contact fighting, throwing things, jumping heights and distances…these are PURE athletic pursuits in my mind. Challenge what the human body can do…with out aid. However…my back is broken, my knee is blown…and I have been relegated to the bike in order to assuage my athletic bent. Hence, my most favoritists bike ever is my singlespeed. It’s all there, at least in MY head. And it makes me a happy guy. No computadors necesserio.

  11. Count your miles/kms/HR/watts/speed/hours/minutes/seconds/vertical feet/etc.

    Or don’t.

    Just ride.

  12. @bgw

    Ya got me there. Above comment retracted.

    I sat on my ass for a year before I fond my current job so I can’t fucking talk.


    Thanks for that Sha Na Na vid. I saw them in concert back in the 70’s and had honestly forgotten about them, but that vid brought a couple nice memories.

  13. Well, alls I knows is I drink like a fish, eat like a horse, don’t count a God damned thing, and I don’t gain an ounce.

    And I don’t ride near as much as I like. I suspect my work helps keep the blubber off.

  14. Damn. Just watched that xtranormal vid.

    “I will find your girlfriend and fuck her so hard she will wonder if you have a dick”

    I spit cereal on my laptop on that line.


  15. “I am a purist when it comes to athleticism…running, full-contact fighting, throwing things, jumping heights and distances…these are PURE athletic pursuits in my mind. Challenge what the human body can do…with out aid.”

    sfb— The bicycle is unworthy of athletic use, wtf?? The only aid my bike has is pedaling harder. Going slow, riding short, eating and drinking whatever you want… That’s lazy. I can do better. Calories in/calories out, no bullshit, no whatev, d00d, nowhere to hide.

    Now if you’re just getting all noncompetitive on us, you can play with the girls at recess and meanwhile I’ll try to gap you on this next hill. And every other guy here will try to gap me.

    There are two perfectly good reasons not to run a cyclocomputer:
    1) you can’t get the fucking thing to work. Change the battery, futz with the sensor, if it don’t work shitcan it.
    2) you just bought an Ibis full-carbon XC rig, changed to narrower tars and the thing weighs like 20 pounds. It’s an insult to The Bird to zip-tie some blinking plastic widget on her.


    PS— just bustin’ yer balls (except trying to gap you on the next climb).

  16. What sfb said. And I’ll say this proudly-Every mile I’ve ever ridden on a bike has been “junk miles”. Riding to work, riding after work to unwind, running to the store for groceries or beer or hot dogs and wine, just piddling around on a bike and maybe exploring, hopping on the fixed gear so my sciatica will maybe shut up and leave me alone, riding with the kid (long long ago-I’d give both legs and my right arm to ride with her one more time)-Basically anything that’s not “racing” or “training”.

    Hey, if bein’ a Lancey-pants wannabee is your deal, enjoy, by all means. Just keep it to yourself, a’ight?

  17. Joe: I’ve got me some sciatica too…pretty bad. The result of playing goalie in hockey and breaking a hip in a crit six years ago. I know it sounds ridiculous and new-agey, but yoga helps a lot.

    So does codeine.

  18. No codeine for me. Or any other heavy narcotics. Took Tramadol and all I got was an ambulance ride and a night in the hospital. Percosets were almost as bad.

    Glad you’ve found some relief. No shit, I feel your pain. For me, a good chiropractor, staying active through my work, my fixed gear and yes, a wee dram at the end of the day. Be well, buddy. And fight the good fight. Remember-Surrender is not in our creed.

  19. …okay – true story, re: ***this bike can read your mind***

    …21 years ago, i was doing product design for/with gary fisher before trek owned his ass & soul…

    …valentino campagnolo & antonio caccia are coming back from the taiwan bike show & stop in the bay area to ‘talk shop’, at a time when campagnolo was still trying to evolve a serious mtb gruppo…

    …those two, g-fish, a shop mechanic & myself are in an informal meeting back in the shop area on a saturday, just chatting about current ‘product’, as in what works & what can be improved or changed considering patent restrictions…

    …so with patent restrictions in mind, valentino, always serious about his company’s fabled product, inquires about conceivable future concepts & nobody really has much to contribute & as there’s a lull in the conversation, i pipe up with “i wanna be able to shift gears with my mind…”

    …gary shoots me a fast look like “wtf, dude, this is valentino ‘fucking’ campagnolo, are you gonna goof on this & make us (read: me) look bad ???” & both he & the mechanic try to diffuse the moment with nervous chuckles…

    …valentino & signore caccia both give me an “oh, ho, ho, that sounds crazy” bemused look with a light laugh, but, without missing a beat, i said “hey…wait a minute, think about it…helicopter gunship pilots aim their guns, first through a visual eye scan & then lock-in their focus & it’s all perceived by a tiny screen which is mounted off the front of their helmets…they ARE using both their minds & eyes to fire their weaponry…i’m not saying something of that nature is in any way practical for bicycles but let’s not dismiss evolving technology just because we don’t know HOW it can be applied………”

    …yes, it was an “over the top” suggestion at the time but suddenly, i looked pretty much on the ball…i got that ‘hmm, yes, maybe someday………” nodding of the head…

    …well, here ya go, kids…

    …would i want it ???…FUCK NO !!!…i don’t even want electronic shifting…but i guarantee you i had the balls to suggest it to valentio campagnolo years before we got to this point…

    …that is a fact…

  20. …no, actually…you should just go back to sleep…pretend you weren’t even here…

  21. Awesome BGW,

    another thread in the rich tapestry of mountain bike history.

    In fact it should be a quilt, I put forward a patch for this, others for the first Repack, first Breezer, first Stump jumper, feel free to nominate your choice in patches, people.

    Don’t worry about SS, anyone who names himself as a saddle smelling of dead fish is suspect in my books.

  22. all right, see you old, slow, recess-playin-with-girls, fat, drunk on the road/trail, i’m happy to pull until someone pukes. keep the rubber side down.

  23. interesting mental masturbation re: prius-parlee….but i offer this, the guys got no socks on and his position is shit.

  24. I’m all for developing technology. ..and a part of me really likes that bike and the whatever the fuck it does, but goddamn I need a machine hooked into my ADD addled brain like I need a broken stem on a fast descent.
    I can just imagine the fucking thing snapping gears at the *worst* possible moment if not actually figuring out how to steer me off a cliff looking tracking a pretty balloon..
    No thanks. There’s presently a delay between my mind and my actions and that delay is the filter that keeps me out of Darwins waiting room.

  25. The obvious answer to the question this project is supposed to be addressing: Ride A Fucking Single Speed.

    “Hey, Wonder bike beneath me, am I in the right gear?”

    “You’re in the only gear you have, jackass. Get on with it. Pansy.”

    This shit makes me feel like I’m taking crazy pills.

  26. dude don’t need a new shifter, he needs brakes. Note that the moto rider neatly avoids the collision, now that’s bike handling.

  27. …all in all, reverend dick had the coolest comment…“That bike is an asshole”

    …nice !!!…