fuck, really?

Posted on by

Let’s dance to Pauls tune, a bunch of SF tap dancing bullshit. Listen here bran muffin, your letter to us all was some sorry donkey fucking bullshit that makes the USA look fucking weak. So my idea is this- quit being a butter sandwich and let it all flow. Protecting the blades of grass? you are so fucking weak. Actually protecting anything is fucking stupid. I’ll shit can my plane ticket to SF so I can rollerblade on the sidewalks of Seattle instead. God damn your rotten soul, I’ll shove every bran muffin up your arm sleeve due to your lame ass rules in SF. Fuck you paul. Fuck you. Lick my fucking fingers and shove hammer product up your ass till my shit is broken. trust me, i’ll come back for more you fucking one piece suit bran muffin.  SF is fucking way too fluffy. really fluffy. Take every piece of nature and burn it with good intent. This race promoter is mom and dad humping gypsy and a son and daughter joker. lick my douglas fur balls. Fuck you paulE wall to the wholesome granola crunch.

*Update: This Caveman’s rant in response to the letter sent out  today by the organizers of Singlespeed Cyclocross World Championships:

Hello and Welcome to SSCXWC!

The staff of SSCXWC is excited about this coming weekend. We have done a lot of hard work behind the scenes to make this a fun event for everyone, including securing the rights to hold this event in the jewel of parks in San Francisco, Golden Gate Park.
…
In NorCal, we fight for every inch of public land to hold cycling events. Grass here is worth more than gold and if you damage a single blade you will find yourself on the outside. Getting GG Park was a major coup on our part and something we are proud to share with our guests. Obtaining permits for cycling related events through the City Parks department is anything but easy and we pay dearly in fees. Thanks to some folks with influence who went out on a limb to vouch for us, we were able to get our permit. But just like Delta House in the movie Animal House, we are on double secret probation.

There are two cyclocross events in GGP in the next two weekends. Both events are going to be well attended by the cycling community and friends/family. We have an opportunity to show the Parks department through these events that our group has as much right as any to use and access public lands. Our part as promoters, racers and spectators is to show them that we are going to do this in a responsible way. To that end, my goal as Race Director of SSCXWC, is to run a memorable event where people have fun and no one gets hurt.

I ask that all attendees, racers and spectators, keep the hard work the staff has done in mind this weekend. We want you to have a crazy good time and enjoy our wonderful City and the fun events we have got lined up. We don’t want anyone getting hurt or feel we need to get the “man” involved if someone goes too far Sunday. We ask spectators to respect the racers safety during the events, racing is dangerous enough without someone physically interacting with racers.

This is our moment to shine and prove to any and all detractors that our community has just as much right to be in the City parks as any other group.

Thanks and see you this weekend.

Paule Bates
Race Director, SSCXWC

A singlespeed event where you are supposed to behave? Who let the UCI in here?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vyN8VN4BSzM[/youtube]

About caveman

I am... Caveman. Spokane, Washington, USA

84 Replies to “fuck, really?”

  8. triple F, your mom and my mom are way too old to be getting taxed son. Let them get moist off bingo by themselves.

  9. Caveman says “mother may I?” I loves me some caveman when he gets up in a rant. Sometimes he is right. Sometimes he is wrong. Sometimes we all fucking laugh, (not at him, with him). When was the last time you actually went to Bingo and played Bingo and sang Bingo? Hey Cave, I miss seeing you rant.

  11. I’m flattered that you want to stick things in my anal cavity. But your probably a gay ass road bike rider/fixie dipshit and I would eat you for breakfast.

  13. Paule, your letter sucked balls. Take that shit to the Northwest and we’ll make good with that event. No fucking rules, just roman empire type karate. Seriously, we aren’t flying down for a tea party.

  15. I had always hoped the porn would come back but Caveman’s mom getting wet at the bingo is not what I’m looking for.

  16. 1. you spelled his name wrong. it’s Paule, with an “e.” and he’s a crotchety old mother fucker who will not only eat you for breakfast, he’ll regurgitate you so that his kids will entertain the idea of digesting your innards through a straw.

    2. you obviously know nothing about the bay area cycling scene and how much we’ll kick your ass regardless of the shit we have to put up with to ride and race around here. sure, you’ll “make good with that event” when you have a fucking bike riding silverspoon gently resting in your piehole. that’s ok though, watch us fuck your shit up regardless. and thanks for adding to our tourist economy while you’re at it.

  19. I’d be more supportive of cavey’s rant if it a) wasn’t filled with homophobic tripe and b) wasn’t over someone asking that people keep their douchbaggery down to a manageable level. As it is he just looks like an asshole who doesn’t care whether he ruins the prospect of future cyclocross in GGP.

  20. Are you kidding me El jefe, we are drunk cyclist. we talk mad shit and you want to be PC. fuck you .

  21. ain’t nothin’ wholesome about Paule. Punk rock talk in a blog is cheaper than the single-ply toilet paper that can’t handle my dingleberries.

  22. Hmm. Interesting, you took the link to your professional site off your later posts. Worried this rant will get back to potential customers? I’m not being PC. You don’t use things that people have no choice in as an insult. Beyond that be as crass as you want. And if you want to brag about how much “mad shit” you’re talking at least make it funny. You couldn’t even keep up with proper SF drunks.

  24. Caveman just needs to calm down. The guy is the race director for a huge race. If you want to have your own event where you can act as childish and stupid as you want, why don’t you just do it yourself. There isn’t a single person asking you to come to their race. Maybe if you had anything to do with putting on the race for yourself then you could have a bit of input!

  25. I think we are getting side tracked with what is offensive here. Single Speed Cyclro Cross???

    For real dude!!! Ride a mtb and call it a day

  26. I have to admit that the “single blade of grass” comment sounds like it was written by a douchebag. Guess I’m lucky to not live in SF if a single blade of grass is that valuable.

  28. @26 SF is my favorite city I could never live in. Paule probably had to sign over his first and second born to put on the race. Hence his call for people to only be 80% douchebags. That said, they’ve had cx in GGP for at least a couple of years and are generally supportive of it. Make no mistake, SF is a two fisted drinking town, and you cannot keep up. I’ve tried. You will drink and eat yourself stupid long before you defeat that town. Anyone who thinks its a bunch of granola vegetarians and peace and love hippies, doesn’t know SF. But go ahead and keep telling yourself that, I’ll take the seedy side of SF.

  30. I’m reading this & my first reaction is WTF?

    But Yes! we have a winner here folks! @caveman, step right up here & receive the coveted “FuckWit of the Year” award.

    Damn, your parents, (assuming that you know them), would be proud.

  31. If anyone is reading the “blade of grass” reference and taking it literally, you are a moron. If a point of reference to the amount of work this org has done needs to be spelled out any further I’m sure they don’t need your support.
    And I still think SS-CX is retarded, but get a real point.

  32. I am heading over to the bay area for fucking turkey weekend (wife’s sister) and I was slightly afraid to bring my sir9 SS. Now I will be bunny hoping fucking tape barriers and knocking every compassion sock whiner the fuck over. WooHoo who has a prescription??

  34. Just for the record, I ain’t on board with this.

    Blades of grass? Fine. A pretty stupid thing to say.

    But I’m not about calling people faggots. That’s not what DC’s about, at least not for me. Sorry if that makes me unpopular with other DC’ers, but that shit’s gotta be said.

  38. The blade of grass reference is sarcasm. I am from the Midwest where such shit would be considered really stupid. Have fun and ride your bike unless your that caveman guy then yank your pud while you ride your fixie. A compassion sock is something that caveman puts over his head so he can get it up long enough to wack one off in a dirty gas station shitter while he gets his overbite on. Poor fucker just needs a hug. Maybe a hug from an SF bear would help him find his true calling and peace.

  39. I’ve been reading DC for years and completely love the site. And although lots of things that go on in SF make no sense whatsoever, your ridiculous rant was completely uncalled for. Hate the guy organizing the race fine (he probably sucks) but all the homophobic banter and continuous swearing makes you look like a complete biggot. Thank you D2 for commenting, I was hoping one of my DC faithful would say this was uncalled for.

  42. I have a short attention span.

    Please explain it to me like I was a five year old.

    Are they banning or encouraging sword fighting at the race?

  43. @Hurben

    Come on man. What do you expect from a guy whose moniker is caveman ?

    Culture ? Sophistication ?

    In a word. Fuck no !

    We expect drunken rants of epic proportions. And this post qualifies.

    Now we just need to know what caveman thinks of turtles. Or even turtles playing bingo. Or, perhaps, turtles doing his Mom. Or Hell, even his Dad.

  45. wow. entirely entertaining and i don’t understand half of it – maybe a SF thing?

    but please caveman, take 3 deep breaths. if this is on your top 10 of problems, good on you mate cause you’re WINNING!

  50. My God yes, people. If you want to trash stuff and behave badly you can always join Occupy Wall Street.