The bike, she will wait for you.

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Oh, you had better believe it buddy. The last three years have been nothing short of hell. So glad that it’s over.

A few years back I figured out trying to ship a bike back and forth across the country was a giant sized pain in the ass. And don’t get me started with dragging a bike with you on plane. The word nightmare comes to mind. So, my man Justin had this old Trek road bike. 62cm. He said, “Gimmie $150 and it’s yours.” Done & done. I put on some DA 180’s I had collecting dust, some calipers I had in a bucket of parts, and a new 8 speed cassette. Then I put it in a box and a shipped it to my parents house. And then I left it there. You know what? That bikes does exactly what I expect it to do, year after year after year.

8 speed downtube.  Works awesome.
8 speed downtube. Works awesome.

5:30 am, everyone is asleep, I’m awake, and she’s right there in the garage. Hit ‘er with 8 bars on the Silca and point ‘er east. The shifting never needs any attention. None. It just works.

Dirt roads and corn fields.
Dirt roads and corn fields.

This road wasn’t my first choice. In fact, I wouldn’t have touched it save the bridge down in Carversville is being repaired. Stupid is as stupid does. Gravel roads are buns. Early morning sun cutting across the tops of the corn row, humidity so thick it looks like fog to my desert dwelling ass. Man, I feel like a god damn rock star.

This guy.  Right here.
This guy. Right here.

Yeah, I’m flying the new kit. My folks place to Jersey is like eight miles as the crow flies, maybe 12 on pavement, and six and a half hours as the fat back pedals. Who’s hitting Jersey with the guido fist pumps? Color me orange.

It goes like this for miles and miles.
It goes like this for miles and miles.

Over in New Jersey they have this awesome path along the Delaware canal. I have no idea how far it goes in either direction. Pesumedly to the ends of the earth. How would I know? I’m a fat, out of shape never-has-been.

Welcome to the land of gym, tanning, and laundry.
Welcome to the land of gym, tanning, and laundry.

Wide shoulder, low traffic, and two Clif bars in my pocket. Son, like doesn’t get much better than this. Did I mention I’ve got a case of beer on ice back at my old man’s place? Yeah. I’ve been good too long.

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

26 Replies to “The bike, she will wait for you.”

  1. That “I feel like a kid again” feeling. Know it well. Glad you’ve got it. Peace, big guy.

  2. The fantastic engineering of the bicycle is the highest level the human race ever attained. Simple, light, reliable, non polluting, and fun. After all the bull bout what kind of bike and what kind of kit and what kind of drink is long past the bike is still there to tke you to the end of the block or around the world.

  3. Yep, we all need a bike with DA 8 on it at the folks house. Mine is ready to drop off next time i’m there.(Seattle). Of course mines gots to have the fenders too.

  4. nobody writes as condensed nor as electric as you do here BigJ

    you’re the fucking Hemingway of this place

    ride on and congratulations

  5. hey bj – im really happy for you, such a relief it must be to have it over and done with. enjoy the week! enjoy the next phase of your life. you did it right, friend.

  6. What’s all that green stuff? What are these, “trees,” you speak of? Riding in the shade?

    My 4 hour ride yesterday was quickly cut into 3 when the sun came out. 100 degrees before 9am is just plain uncomfortable. Lordy, lordy but I can’t wait for Barn Burner at the end of the month. Weekend trips to the pines are the only things that make living in Phoenix bearable.

    Congratulations on finishing school BJ. What you going to do with that fancy schmancy degree? Hey… I know! Why don’t you run for office! The news is telling me that there are a bunch of slack-jawed zealots in DC (District of Columbia, not Drunk Cyclist…) that are in desperate need of a smack down.

    Who’s with me? What say we all write in “Juan Grande” on our ballots in 2012?!?!?

  7. How can you not root for a guy who dubs himself a “fat out of shape never-has-been.” And I have to say the DC jerseys are pretty sweet. Looks a bit like the Belgian national championship one Gilbert been tooling around in lately. Guessing that may be by design.

  8. Cool post. I also keep a bike at my parent’s house – it’s actually my first real mountain bike, a GT Zaskar, that has been passed around a bunch of different people and ended up back with me. Despite a few big dents, courtesy of my younger brother, its running fine as a single speed. Always there waiting for me in Maine when I visit from Colorado.

  9. And to the ‘Unbelievers’ shall come heaven….or something synonymous, probably not involving delusions.. …..Sometimes life is just sweet….and ain’t that just the berries…..
    Had my little dude out following me on his scoot-along which he’s really rocking these days…….De Rosa and Campag Super Record, next stop….Daddy’ll be the dude pedalling whatever he can score from a skip…..G

  10. Great post man.

    I’m a Jersey boy. I’d love to ride that Delaware canal trail.

    Can ya point it out on a map for me ?

  11. Juan Grande for President in 2012 (or 2016, I can wait).

    First step is Congressman from the Great State of Arizona, which shouldn’t be too hard, given the competition.

  12. @joetheelectrician I think BJ’s competition would be Ben Quail.

    A debate should settle it.


  13. He ain’t even passed the bar yet. He runs for office now and that would make him lamer than Obamy.

    Give him time boys. The Dark Lord will conquer all soon enuf.

  14. I would pay good money to watch BJ debate Quail. Somebody please make this happen… Please… I’m beggin’ ya.

    I can see it now.

    Quail: “Getting seriously involved in three wars, lowering taxes for the wealthy and blaming the Dems for the budget shortfall makes perfect sense.”

    (Boos and middle fingers from the audience…)

    BJ: “You’re out of your ever loving, fake-kids-in-your-commercials mind.”

    (Standing ovation and chants of Jonny! Jonny! College co-eds fainting in rapture and tossing their panties on the stage. BJ gets elected by a landslide, and Maker’s Mark flows freely!)

  15. I think BJ’s more of a baller than he admits… look at the saddle to bar drop on that thing! Congrats on the degree and good luck in the future!

  16. @tripleF – You can pick up the Delaware and Raritan Canal trail in Lambertville, NJ.

  17. Ahhh. Ok. I’ve actually ridden that trail. But from the opposite end.

    My bud lives in Piscataway. We ride it now and then from there.

    We planned a full back and forth ride for later this year but……his wife went off got her self knocked up. No clue how that happened but the trip is off for now.

    Maybe next year.

    It’s 70 miles long according to their web site.

  18. @TripleF, he’s either passed it or failed it. I’m pretty sure he still has more to offer than baby Ben.

  19. @TripleF – it is a great trail (minus the Trenton part). North of Trenton is a lot less traveled than the Piscataway to Princeton section right on the water.

  20. Hey, Big Johnny,

    I’m a long time follower and I just wanted to say congrats on finishing school.