just a little off the top, please.

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while judi and domenic were hussying about the pool zone, snakehawk went a-biking.  i went for two rides this past holiday weekend, which is pretty fucking rare, and my riding form was nothing short of loser.  in the end, i won, and the bomber of tecate crept towards my star-spangled liver like so many whimpering francis scott keyses on their way back to the homeland.

i won, i say, but only because of an ansi-dot-approved lidpad.  behold:


woozy and befuddled, wondering how i ended up in such a predicament, i shook it off and got back to chopping the dirt.  thanks, america.  thanks for coming right up on me in such a bold and unpretentious way.

while reshelving the synapses of my brain after ameri-jock knocked them to the floor, i did see in my mind’s eye, a chariot of egress; a noble purple carriage of salvation.  it looked like this:


But alas, i had to let it go.  There were more important things to think about today.  Like Ben Franklin’s dimwitticisms, illegal north americans, chinese fireworks, chinese railroads, deregulation, domestic oil, and fucking bikes.  sweet, simple, perfect, enlightening bikes.

You hit me on the head, America, and that’s just plain jock-shit.

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About Snake Hawk

good, bad, funny, sad, stupid, rad, has, had. non-joining funhaver from coast to coast(er brake). buster of the chops, drawer of the logos. North Carolina, USA

8 Replies to “just a little off the top, please.”

  1. Bless you my man.

    & Happy Fourth of July to you all.

    (It’s already 5th of July here but let’s not split hares)

  2. Or Helmets.

    True story, an obsessive friend of ours pulls a checklist for Endurance racing of the internet which he immediately shares, one of the items is a Helmut.

    Ever since we constantly ask him if he’s packed his German.

    (yes, weak I know..)

  3. Glad yer okay. Still might want to get checked over by a doctor. A whack like that can throw yer whole spine out of kilter.

  4. Geez, Hawk. You come crashin’ ineer like Tony Danza on a skateboard cold crackin’your lid. Damn. Hope yer noggin is OK. Your not seein’ rainbows are you?

    Now, all that car needs is a bike rack. Then we’re pimpin.

    One more thing. Nice work on the jersey. That shit is going to be sick.

  5. A good friend of mine, an excellent snowboarder, drinker and rock’n’roller, was helping a buddy clear some dead wood from his land— no helmet— got clocked by a tree. Spent about a year and a half institutionalized, half that in a coma, and ever since hasn’t connected two sentences. Quite possible the saddest human waste I’ve ever had the misfortune to witness. WEAR YOUR FUCKING HELMET!

  6. Was that car in Tucson? I swear I saw a car exactly like it a few weeks ago when I was riding to work, though I don’t remember seeing a Skittles ad on the side.

  7. that’s a playalistic dirty south donk, Rhys. i-40, Bull City, NC. i’m glad the craze has made it as far west as tucson, though.