Madeira Centennial Criterium race report

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I am updating….had no idea I had quads!!

Picture by Jeff Jakucyk.


I promised a race report so here ya go. It’s not gonna be like Snake’s posts or anything. This is gonna be Judi’s Classy Cat 4 MY VERY FIRST CRIT race report, ok? Don’t make fun.

The Madeira Centennial Criterium was the opening race of a huge bike racing weekend in Cincinnati. Saturday was the Hyde Park Blast and today the Tour Of Grandview.

My plan was to race Friday’s crit. Mitch Graham, the race promoter, comped my race entry for Friday and I helped him set up the course. It was HOT and and HUMID and me and a bunch of guys were walking around Miami ave, dragging barricades, cones and haystacks around. We were all sweating our fucking asses off. Everybody was pretty much drenched, and I was constantly on the search for more water.


Working the race was fun, and it kind of kept me from freaking too bad. I did worry that I wouldn’t have time to ride the course because the Cat 5 men were going off at 5pm and we were still running around with haystacks at 4:45pm.

After the races started, my volunteer duties were over, and I started the freaking out part. I was running back and forth between the reg’ table and my car about 50xs. My friends were showing up, texting, calling, my fucking MOM came – She NEVER watches me race – EVER….and from then on it was pretty much chaos chaos chaos.

Come on. Think back to YOUR first criterium. A USA crit, for GOD’s SAKE’s!!! How nervous were you?

I was freaking.

Dominic was not with me either which sucked so fucking bad. He could not get off work. It was the first race he’s missed (not counting the triathlons where he slept in the car).

Aaron Hubbell, my cat 1 buddy from Indy, called me when he got in and we rode the course together in between races. What a great guy you are Aaron! THANK YOU! He took me through the turns and told me how to take each corner.

Finally the women were lining up. My teammate rolled up and introduced herself nervously. I found out later she was a cat 1 racer on the NRC team. The 1/2/3’s were all lined up and then they started the call ups (in reg entry order) for the 4’s. They called my name and I rode around to the start. The announcer was talking but I couldn’t hear. I wasn’t listening, I couldn’t hear, my heart was thumping and there was vomit in my throat.

The whistle blew and we were off. I held onto the 2nd half the pack and we were riding really fast, taking the corners, and people were screaming my name all over the place, it was fucking awesome!

This picture is pretty much the summary of my race. (Photo courtesy of Debbie Baker)

madeira crit 2

There were 4 of us. I was trying like a mother fucker to shake those girls. They worked as a team and sucked my wheel for a while. I heard OB screaming at me to “let those ladies work a little” but in my head I just wanted to fucking shake them. I kept looking back and they were still there.

Then it got really confusing. They yelled ONE LAP TO GO and a guy on a motorcycle rolled up and screamed at us ONE MORE LAP, YOUR GROUP HAS ONE MORE LAP and then of course my legs were fried and the girls behind me took a sprint in front and tried to shake me and I was lagging a little behind, and then we passed the finish line and they said it again ONE LAP TO GO and little girl behind me unclipped and everyone was confused (I know that was a really long run-on sentence). The other two girls kept riding so I did too.

Anyways, I came in 4th, out of 9 cat 4 women. I’ll take it, thank you.

Crits are probably my favorite type of racing next to CX. I have to get better at this somehow. I want to be able to hold onto the pack. That shit was fun.

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About Judi

Bicycles are my salvation. They are my way of life. If you don't like it, then you can go straight to hell. Cincinnati, Ohio, USA

53 Replies to “Madeira Centennial Criterium race report”

  1. …guys…i believe we’re witnessing the birth of a stone cold killer on a bicycle…

    …crits n’ cx…yep, a season or two more of experience & it’s “look the fuck out !!!”

  2. Feeling sick is part of the deal. The last lap confusion is an institution with a hundred-year history. One wheel away from the podium. Good fucking job!

  3. Holy crap woman, that is awesome! I did a women’s race clinic this weekend with a simulated 18 mile race (I say simulated as there were no prizes, but it was a race in every other sense of the word). It was fucking hard as shit. I have a new found respect for you. I held on for a lap and a half maybe (it was 3) and then they dropped me like a bad habit. I averaged 21 MPH on a course with rollers and a big hill and they left me like I was standing still. shit.

    You are a badass!

  4. The greatest thing about watching crits is seeing not the youngest strongest rider out there win, but the coolest, most experienced, most DECISIVE.
    I”m impressed, always good to show good fighting spirit. You’re obviously putting in some good miles and staying strong.
    Get some experience in this, tune up your mechanism, like points on an ignition have the ret/adv, know when to hold ’em, basically. Can’t expect to win your first crit, but it’s happened. Just focus on not crashing.
    I would have been nervous, too – going down is such a heightened possibility in crits, and lend incentive to being in front, but spend a half second too long up there and you get sniped. There’s lots to be learned from the advice of your friends in the battle field, and your opponents, too. When you start a race with perfect calm, and spin into the start without a care in the world, it’s then you are in the state of mind to receive that cloud break of when to put ’em behind you. OK, done coaching.

  5. Judi was freaking a little before the race but we got her talked down and she chilled out quite a bit. The couple laps we took helped her a lot and all in all she did an awesome job. I mean, this was her first ever crit — and look at that fucking course map — 2 180s! And these 180s were on city streets with steel rodeo fencing down the center. Gnarly, gnarly turns. (We even had some guys drilling the fencing in the pro race.) She rode it like a champ.

    And she didn’t mention that there were some National Champions and other bona fide bad-asses in her field. You guys would have been so proud of her.

    So yeah Judi, you should be psyched. I KNEW you’d love this. Welcome to the dark side.

  6. WOW Judi, this is awesome! I knew you’d love crits – you are fearless and it takes fearlessness to be good – AWESOME AWESOME job!!:)

  7. Good ride Judi!!!
    To do well in crits and get rid of those who are sucking wheel, learn to turn. Go to an office park or a big parking lot. Map out a short course and just practice bombing the turns. It works!
    If my fat, no-fitness-having-right-now ass can make up 5-6 lengths in a turn, you will rid away from the other ladies!

  8. Yeehaw! Kudos for helping out with the dirty work at the start. Ima go race my first race ever tomorrow night at the local racetrack (PIR). My friend talked me into going cause he needs a little shake n bake, and to top it off, it’s free beer voucher night for new riders and the people who bring them.

  9. and apparently i can corner! dominic gets all the credit for that perfect cornering position. he is crazy cornering, ive seen him go down twice cornering too low like an idiot.

  10. Great Job! It’s hard to tell from that pic, but you might drop your saddle a schosh. (…somewhere between a touch and a bit…)

  11. …’a h‘…how cool of you, bud…taking judi out, doin’ a few laps to show her the basics on what looks to have been a serious ass crit course…

    …i’m sure she’s getting great coaching w/ ‘o b‘ but i’m also bettin’ your instructional side by side, on the bike warm-up made a major difference in both helping her settle down & understand cornering lines…

    …it’s been talked about here, that riding w/ people stronger than you eventually makes you a stronger rider but the other side of that equation is that riding w/ experienced, competent cyclists teaches you that you can be focused yet relaxed on the bike…

    …anyway, props to ya for helping our pal judi out…

  12. I’d expect to see a lower saddle giving a 12 to 15 degree bend at the knee but what the hell do I know, I’ve never got 4th in a Crit.

  13. …i can see the cartoon bubble thought thingys coming out from the heads of those two teammates…

    …(1) “this kenda chick is stro-o-ong but she’s got no race savvy”
    …(2) “so what ???…stay on that wheel & she’s gonna tow us all the way to the line…what she’s gonna be is so-o-o toast”…
    …(1) “ya, huh…it’ll be, ‘later, sucker…thanks for the ride’ !!!”
    …(2) “gotta take advantage of this while we can…i hear she’s a newbie”…

    …keep at it, judi…you’ve got a ton of fucking heart, you know how to focus & you know how “stick with it”…once you get stronger, more experienced & develop some race chops, you’re gonna be one of the age category favorites every time out…

    …that’s a prediction & i’m not afraid to make it…you’re rough around the edges ‘cuz you’re new to the sport but you’re ‘gold’

    …pay attention to your coaches & friends like aaron hubbell…you’ve got some learning & racing to do…

    …just sayin’…

  14. Why is it that every time she posts something she gets 50 responses? Dude right below her also did a race report and only one response. Stop sucking up to Judi so much, you guys are pathetic

  15. ….so i probably will keep these race reports for my own blog from here on out. sorry it was so lame @STM, and @JOHNNY whoeverthefuckyouare.

    @gnomer, explain that leg position shit. i’d appreciate your imput on that for sure.

  16. wasn’t attack judi or her posts, was aimed at you suck ups. Turn up your speakers and you’ll hear me making ass-smooching sounds.

  17. @ johnny (not big jonny). it’s just a law of percentages that anytime you get a number of people together a certain number who are fucking ass-bones too stupid to get the point. judi, keep posting and forget these douche-nozzles.

  18. judi

    typical wisdom states that when your cranks are @ 6 & 12 o’clock, your extended leg should have a slight bend @ the knee; ‘slight’ is open to some debate, but you should def. avoid having your leg completely extended: not good for the knees.

    & in total agreement w/ el jefe & others.. don’t you dare stop posting your rr’s. fuck the haters. you fucking rock!

  19. it’s funny that you’re a ironman finisher who loves cx and crits– it’s the exact opposite! 30 minutes of PAIN.

  20. Yo Judi… I’m in the WVQC studio right now… Just played the song “Excite Bike” for you with a little shout out for your awesome finish at Friday’s race! You keep me motivated, sister. I’m antsy for time trials tomorrow!

  21. Jonhny, your comment is dipshit and pointless. But we’ve come to expect that in 30-70 comments, there are always some butt-tarded things written. Judi’s racing, other people are doing good stuff, and you’re in front of your box making ‘attacks’ at people. Ever considered getting a life, dude?

  22. Yeah i’m sure the fact that the two girls had a teammate up the rode in first place had nothing at all to do with them letting her pull them instead of working together and chasing down their own teammate.

  23. I’ll explain this once more. I’m not attacking Judi, I’m laughing at all of you that give her the ‘You go girl!’ about 100 times. There are other people on here also posting their races and rides, but they get barely any reponse or praise in comparison to what she gets. There’s a group of regulars here in the ‘hate littlejar/love judi fanboy club’ that seem to disproportunatley praise her over others. Is it because she’s new or ’cause she’s a pretty girl? I’m just saying spread the love around.

  24. ….”no kidding, 3 on 1? let those sluts do all the work”


    …”As for the 3 bimbos sitting on your wheel, make sure you get names and addresses. Maybe me and the boys can arrange something.”


  25. …johnny…the only thing you’re ‘explaining’ is what you think our preferences should be…

    …re: “I’m just saying spread the love around.”

    …bullshit…the only thing you’re actually ‘doing & saying’ is spreading your own version of negativity…

    …maybe if you feel so strongly that “other people’s” race reports should get more support, you should just go ahead & comment about the races you want & otherwise stop telling others where, when & what to comment on…

    …& stm…you just have ‘moron’ written all over you…but you knew that when you opened your mouth / keyboard, right ???…

  26. …ez2…please be assured that we’re not really taking names & addresses & “we” boys aren’t “making arrangements”, okay ???…

    …i mean, honestly, just fucking sayin’…

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  29. …ez2…please…stop shouting…

    …rest assured, we can hear/read you clearly…

  30. You gotta save it next time. When things sort out after the start, ease off and ride behind the others. Let the giddies build so that when it is time to let er rip, you have tear ass power to do what you need to do. It also feels so nice to be waiting patiently for the right time.

  31. @ez2 and ez – you know i know who you are, girls. it was nice riding with you that night. i even had the class to tell you that, AND congratulate all of you on your podium sweep. don’t you dare come around here screaming at these guys. it only makes you look stupid.

  32. Dude…BGB called it first. “look the fuck out”

    and to ez and ex2, teamwork would consist of pulling a bit as well.
    judi gets comments because she’s new…and a female. there sed it

  33. @Amanda,

    No, Judi gets comments because she shares an incredible passion for cycling with us.

    She also invites us to share her personal struggles.

    I am extremely honoured that she chooses to do so.

    I’m damn glad that she’s here.