Skids are for kids

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Got this one this morning from our very own Dirty Biker, sent while he was en route to a Diamond Backs game.

From: Dirty Biker
Where the fixters come to do their skids. Ridiculous.

Skids are for kids.
Skids are for kids.
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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

27 Replies to “Skids are for kids”

  1. Look if you’re say, less than 12 years old and laying down a nice patch of rubber, I say, hells yeah. Get some boys!

    If you’re older than 12, and still doing this, you’re definitely a douche. And if you’re older than 21 and doing this, it puts you into douchebag stratosphere is all I’m saying. So just ride away in your skinny jeans, with your ass crack hanging out, and your PBR in your messenger bag, because nobody gives 2 shits.

  2. We just call them fixietards around these parts…especially now that Walmart has a hipster Mongoose SS.

  3. I’ve got an awesome idea: develop a line of fixie-specific tires. Use a really soft compound that makes wide, dark marks and charge like $60 a pop. WE’LL BE RICH! ahahahaha

  4. “Sir, it’s quite typical for a strong, assertive, skilled fixed-gear rider to use up a rear tar in 150 miles.” Ka-ching! “With tax, a new tube and installation, that comes to $95.20. Have a nice day, sir!”

  5. …skidiculous…

    “why, son, that ain’t nothin’ new !!!…we used ta do that in our bare feet w/ razorblades between our toes just to make it interesting…but hey, you kids have a good time, now”

  6. Sign that fixters are near. You can lure them with cocaine and morissey albums, 60% of the time it works every time.

  7. I’m sorta new to the fixed gear, having come to it a scant seven years ago. But when I want to stop I usually just squeeze the lever under my right hand.

  8. Well I guess I’m safe then. I pretty much ride in whatever I happen to be wearing. And I don’t own a single item of tight-fitting clothing. Other than Lycra tights for winter. But I usually wear those under a pair of BDUs or maybe baggy shorts. Carhartts, even.

  9. When I rode fixed gear in Tucson, for a brief time my Bianchi 42/16 was the only bike I had! I’d ride 12 miles to home to Wentworth with a large backpack full of oranges and grapefruit picked on the way home. I didn’t have the energy to lay rubber, or the desire. Locking it up in dirt is fun, but on pavement? Well, sometimes it is. I must say.

    To me, it’s just a transference of the rubber burning retard mentality that they actually make TV shows about now! Seriously, I saw at a bar, a show about people driving around in 4 banger cars with pyrotechnic explosions going off. Nominated for top douche awards, in the bag. Beats out the kids who polish their bikes and only ride them to the corner store, Cali style.

    Then again, these are people on bicycles, and the skid of a bike tire don’t make a big stink. Let ’em have their fun. Your first fixie feels like you’re 6 years old learning to ride again. Hard to not lock it up in a swerving curving pencil-mark of Chinese black gold.

    Can we come up with worse things to hate, already?

  10. don’t make me give up my pbr… i sincerely like the taste. as besides, it was the first beer i ever tasted sitting next to pops on the couch round about 6 years walking or so….

    as far as the whole fixed gear thing, i tried it… for about 3 days. it’s impractical as far as i’m concerned. keep it in the drome… or crash at will. doesn’t matter to me, just don’t corner next to me.

  11. i like riding my fixie with this women’s ride on monday nites. it’s a slow, easy recovery ride, just 13 miles. it has a few hills but i do ok on a 47×15. it’s mostly beginners and a few of us just go to support the ride and all. i was the only one riding fixed last week. most of them can’t even comprehend what a “fixed gear” means. after the ride, a MTB girl and i switched bikes. she was tripping out on my bike.!/photo.php?pid=12187161&id=417285080326

  12. Perhaps I should clarify something here. I’vde three fixed gear bikes, but no “fixie”, and they each are uniquely suited to their respective purpose.

    My Surly Crosscheck runs fenders, nice wide tires, Mary bars and a sprung saddle. On the C&O it’s a Cadillac. It ain’t bad around town for grocery runs either, as both distances and climbs are short. Oh yeah, BMX pedals and a good front brake. Like I said, I tend to ride in whatever I happen to be wearing. Bonus: The back tire tends to last and last.

    My Redline Monocog helps me to find peace on the trails. Best. Setup. Ever. Bonus: Come winter, I put on the studded tires and I’m UNSTOPPABLE!

    My 1976 Raleigh Supercourse is a bit of a contradiction. 700 wheels give it tremendous clearance. So it’s sort of like a cross bike with the 700×32 knobbies; In fact it’s what I’ll ride if I dip my toe into that water this fall. But it also falls into the club bike/winter trainer category, and has seen some longish rambles on pavement. It also suits, to a “T”, the definition of what I believe they call a “scorcher”. It loves singletrack way more than anything so ungainly-looking has a right.

    I also have a Schwinn Traveler from nineteen-eightysomething that did, in fact, narrowly escape being made into a fixie, with the neon Ourys and the ironic parts and the brazeons shaved off. But I stumbled across a forgotton treasure trove of nice parts in the shed. If I can make my shopping panniers work on it (big feet, dontchaknow) it should make a splendid grocery getter.

    Of course there’s also my nice old geared Fisher HooKoo and the road bike. Right tools for the job at hand; that’s what I’m shooting for.

  13. you guys are a bunch of cunts haha littlejar has the best point of all of you. the rest of you would rather just be snobby little performance bitches counting grams and forgetting why you love bicycles. you don’t love bicycles. you love being better at bicycles than the next guy when in reality the inferiority is inherent with the ones hating anything bicycle related. take a look at those marks fucktards. theres treads and things other than just the occasional seemingly 700×25 tire mark. get your fucking heads out of your asses and stop bitching about people you don’t understand and don’t associate with because not only hipsters ride fixed gears. i built my touring bikes, my mountainbikes, my road bikes, my BMX’s, my commuters, my rain bikes, AND MY FIXED GEAR BIKES FOR TRACK AND ROAD USE all out of love for bicycles. maybe it takes an experienced cyclist to know what good character traits are but so far most all of you are just fucking stupid. this is repulsive. this entire page is full of bullshit and crap information and the administrator should be ashamed of themselves. fuck you cunts

  14. This is awesome, and reminds me of all of the photos of mountain bike tire tracks on mountain bike hater sites.

  15. Is Quartuccio raising the levity bar? My lips are pursed in such a way, only the most reverential fixster will understand. This is about being serious.

    Hipsters miss the point as if they’d just prefer to pass “go” heading directly to middle baldness income, read the reviews and pick out the sweet deal on a crabon fiber replica podium payment in order to rejoice in the soul they just purchased.

    Who will cut their bars though? Fuck stupid. Know the history of your skid marks, bitches.

    God hates haters.

    compliments of Rab:

  16. Today I saw a fixie kid (bar tape, saddle and rims a perfect matching white) load his bike on the bus at the bottom of NE 8th Street and get off four-tenths of a mile later at the top of the hill.

    You know, there’s a well-developed hardware solution that provides an appropriate ratio for riding up hills.

  17. There are some real heartbreakers in these parts. I’m talkin’ 8% for a couple miles. Damned right I’ve take the walk of shame a time or two.

    But there’s also the C%O canal. 184.5 miles of flat dirt two-track, which ain’t as bad as it sounds. It mostly follows the Potomac River through some of the prettiest country Old Man Mother Nature has to offer. And it bores me to tears on a bike with shifty bits. Always obsessing over this part or that.
    But with a fixed gear I just enjoy the ride so much more.