PR comments…

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Worm's eye view
Worm's eye view

Yes, we are on the eve of the Queen of the Classics, and instead of bashing FoxNews some more, I’ll move onto cycling for today (I see that the J-man took up my FoxNews bashing anyway, so I digress).

It’s throwdown time at Paris-Roubaix. Here’s who I’ve got one on my list for possible favorites (in no particular order):

Hincapie (I know, long shot and all)
Quinziato (riding on fire right now)

I mean, we all know that Devolder was riding on fire last week, and I’m sure his form has not gotten any worse, but the big question in my head is; can Quick Step do the old “Mapei” and finish 1-2-3? They’ve got the firepower with Boonen, Devolder, and Chavanel, so it could be possible, and it’s really not crazy to think that all 3 of those guys could make the winning move (whenever it comes), and or be the cause of the winning move. Deep down, I’d love to see George “Sandwich” Hincapie (I’ll explain the sandwich thing later) take the win, mostly because hey, he’s a nice guy, works his tail off, and has been close a few times only to either break a bike, or fall in a ditch, and or see his teammate ride off into the distance without him (Thanks Boonen!). But really really deep down, I would absolutely dig it if Flecha took the win. Why? He’s a classy guy. He’s a hardcore mother fucker. He’s been in the mix a few times, and really, how awesome would it be to see a Spanish guy, not normally known for their classics riders, take the win. Every year I cheer for this guy, and it won’t be any different this year. You can bet your ass on that. I do think that when it all comes down, the list of names I put above are the guys who are going to be in it. Sure, there are going to be a few others in the mix towards the end, or when the move goes, but be on the lookout for all of these guys. It’s gonna be a warzone out there, and good news for people who like it nasty out there, looks like there might rain in the forecast for today, and tomorrow. Meaning, nasty shit strewn roads throughout the course, and especially the cobbles are going to grab people, and bring them down. Be prepared for lots of abandons on the day, and probably broken collarbones, and other such maladies. And of course, we’ll have the muddy pictures that remind us of what an epic day it can, and has been in the past.

Going back to the George “Sandwich” Hincapie nickname. This is a nickname that my wife and I have Hincapie a few years back, basically because we were watching PR one year, and he was toiling along, and it just looked like he was starting into the abyss riding along, and probably thinking to himself, “Damn, I wish I had a sandwich right now. Mmm, sandwich…” He had that sort of “detached” look on his mug that said he wished he was somewhere else, eating a sandwich, and hence, his nickname around the house became common vernacular between us.

OK, one other thing that bugs me about PR coverage every year. We always have these stupid articles about the Paris Roubaix “new” tech that has shown up at the race. Which essentially consists of a few teams running cantilevers (how 1970’s of them), and a few special made bikes with more clearance for bigger tires, and or longer wheelbases for a smoother ride across the cobbles. Look, I don’t care what the fuck you do to these bikes, I’ve ridden a few races in my time that went over small sections of cobbles (less than say, 300 meters), and sections of unpaved roads, and I don’t care what you do, you’re going to vibrate the shit out of your skull piece. Aside from that, the “new” tech that we hear about year in, and year out, is the same new “tech” that we’ve seen year after year. Sure, we had a couple of years when some folks tried to run suspension forks, but those didn’t work out that great. There is nothing new or interesting going on out there, and as a matter of fact, most teams are running good old fashioned 32 hole box section wheels, which just goes to prove that all of you crazy folks spending multiple of thousands of dollars on deep dish carbon wheels are wasting your money. Box section rims get the job done. Build up a nice set of Open Pro 32 hole wheels with some Dura-Ace, or Record hubs, you’re going to have a wheelset that is almost as light as say a set of Mavic R-Sys wheels, at about a 1/4 or 1/2 of the price, and I would bet you that they’ll last a lot longer, and you can get parts at any bike shop in America. Do I practice what I preach? Yes, yes I do. Open Pro, 32 hole hoops, with Ultegra hubs. They’re 4 years old, been rebuilt once (replaced the bearings), and they’re still true. I have to true them up, on average, about once a year. They rock. Where was I? Oh yeah, the “new” tech is just actually old tech, and they keep repeating this same story year after year. Hey Huang, find something good to report on.

What was the entire point of this ramble? Tell me good folks, what is your call for Paris-Roubaix tomorrow? Will someone get run over by a train (I hope not)? Will Cancellara ride away from everyone again? Will Quick Step do a 1-2-3 race? Will some turd burglar win the race instead of one of the favorites? Will Hincapie finally win? Will Boonen stop to do a few lines at one of the pave sectors? Will someone get popped for doping before or after the race? I mean, these are the questions we want to know about. Let me know what the fuck you guys think.

Thanks for playing the guessing game with me. I will leave you with the video below:

1996 Paris Roubaix

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About giantcu92

Engineer living in the NOVA, and working for "The Man". Cycling and political junky. All things 2 wheeled are good. 4 wheels? Eh, OK, but 2 wheels better. Washinton, DC, USA

21 Replies to “PR comments…”

  1. that fat fuck on Garmin that can kill it at 180lbs. forget his name but vautners talked about him on vs

    go fatty

  2. Mike Friedman – Garmin Slip web says he is 170. I have it on good faith he is a bagel short of 180.

    do it my big boned brother

  3. entirely depends on weather. if dry, group finish a la 1997. too many strong dudes. if wet, it’s gonna be a quickstep romp, with Haussler holding on for dear life.

    Hincapie’s cooked. some SC Cherokee medicine man jinxed him long ago for calling his Westchester NY ass Southern.

  4. ben, et al: Just cut & paste in the “embed” code provided on youtube if you want to share a vid in the comment section. Anyway, here it is in all it’s glory: the 1990 Paris-Roubaix finale.

  5. Gots me some 28 hole open pros on chris king hubs with some sweet dt somethingorother light ass spokes. Couldn’t pass them up at Sellwood Cycle. 400 bucks. POW!! I’m a porky 185, they ain’t done me wrong yet.

  6. George is cooked because he never attacks at the front. He’s done a good job getting there in the past but attack from the front he don’t…he aint attacking at this age either. fork in ass done cooked

    war pork

  7. Word up on 32 hole 3x but I would call Mavic Reflex rims for ultimate light weight and durability. But my 8yr old 28 hole record hubs laced radial front 2x rear on CXP33 have been bomb proof for my 170lb frame.

  8. …so the cocaine cowboy rides it home for his third paris-roubaix…

    …& ok-ee-dok, george broke a spoke & that’s the end of that tale…

  9. “Open Pro, 32 hole hoops, with Ultegra hubs.” Yes, indeedy. I’ve been running Open Pro 32-holers with either Dura-Ace or Ultegra hubs for years on my ‘cross bikes, which enjoy the tender kiss of pavement along with the bitch-slapping of single-track, deer trail, goat path and whatever else is between me and the liquor store. Don’t even true ’em, just bash the fuckers with a big ol’ hammer every now and then. They’re nice and quiet, too. You can ride right up on an iPlodding jogger with a pair of these bad boys and scare the mortal shit out of the goofy bastards, give ’em the heart attack they think they’re avoiding.

  10. riding a pair of old school mavic red/gold label gp4’s 32 spokers 3x w/cx’s laced to old campy 8spd hubs with the carrier changed to accept 9/10spd cassettes. smoove and bomb proof….. them hoops glide over everything.

  11. Hincapie got what, 43rd? 403rd? Jesus, man. That was ugly. He says he’ll be back. Can’t image he’d finish any worse…