A tale of three fixies

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Same as yesterday morning: air up tires, play with brakes, ride around neighborhood, take photo. I may even, gasp, ride a bike today. And I’m talk’n ’bout full on kitted up gayness. Oh, embrace your inner PVP. Hey, 60 degrees is cold!


Surly. Steamroller. ‘Nuff said.


Fondriest. I call it The Italian Stallion. Also known as IROC (Italian Retard Out Cruising). Way over the top. Damn near approaching the concept of ugly. Chain is gold because Just dances all over that line like only an Italian bike can. Draped in Campy. I actually have some red bar tape sitting on my work bench. Someday soon, it’ll be even uglier.


Bottecchia I’m running as a fixie. Had gears once, but whatever. Fenders from Woody. Brake housing super duper long. Whatever. It came that way and I’m too lazy to trim ’em back. So there they are. For ever. All Campy

Brakes on each. Front and rear. Because I like stopping. I also like having hoods. Nice when you stand while climbing. Bottecchia more of a beer cruiser, so just a pump. White, of course. The Surly and Fondriest have actually been ridden on actual rides. And actual rides require two actual bottles. I’m just sayin’. You can’t be going very far when you can’t carry even one (1) bottle of water with you.

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

17 Replies to “A tale of three fixies”

  1. Damn Straight Jonny. That’s 7 down. I think you need to post up images of the whole fleet.

    Have you accidentally walked into your neighbors house yet?

  2. 60 Degrees is cold? Buuuuuuahahahahaaaaaa!!!!

    It’s 34 here and that’s the high for the day and I’m not even all that far north but I am very east.

    Nice bikes but you should trim those cables on the Bottecchia, if you ever take a trip over the bars they’ll cut your head off.

  3. you mean to say you actually RIDE your fixies??? I didn’t realize anyone did that any more.

    I’d give my left nut for 60 and sunny.

  4. AMAZING! Your neighborhood and greenbelt looks exactly like mine, imagine that,,,juz zay…

  5. comforting to know there’s another dufus w/2 brakes on a fixie… and oh yea, that fondriest is straight up fugly as any fixie should be.

  6. 60? Give me a fucking break. It ain’t got above forty all year, rained all day and freezing overnight. I’m out working in the shit, yet. Plus, add in the travel time and it’s 12 hour days. Dark when I get home, dark when I get up. 60? Fucking pussy.

  7. …oh, ya, nice rides…even the fondriest…the bottecchia is a great townie but it needs a cage…you could get awful thirsty on the way to the beer store…

    “I’m talk’n ’bout full on kitted up gayness. Oh, embrace your inner PVP.”…why the hell not…just spandex-ed & lycra-ed my way throught the mud, slop n’ chill for several hours on the cross rig…
    …fucking glorious…when you get off the bike & just start laughing, that says something about just how cool these machines are…

    …what would jeesuz, whoops, i mean van petegem do ???…

  8. Big Jonny,

    Baby Jesus weeps for you, it’s only going to be 67 on Thursday and Friday. Baby Jesus weeps bloody tears for your suffering….

  9. butthead, I think that all depends on why you got your fixie in the first place. Perhaps you wanted to be like the “cool kids” and learned that one’s choice of drivetrain is not the path. Good for you. That is what we grownups call a “learning experience”.

    As for me, I was inspired by the late and beloved Sheldon Brown. As far as I knew, fixed gear was what eccentric old men rode. I’m fixed for the remainder of my life.

  10. …wow…how ultimately wonderful you are…

    “I’m fixed for the remainder of my life.”…now there’s a statement that goes beyond it’s initial reading & obviously a damn good idea…