Chloe Anne

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I’m now the father of two lovely little girls. I’m not sure if it’s a blessing or a curse.

I was hoping for 6lbs. 6.6oz. But we can’t have everything, can we?

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

45 Replies to “Chloe Anne”

  1. Kick ass Big J! Congrats! Now get all of your bike shit together and kiss it goodbye….it’s Barbies for you from here on out!

  2. it *IS* possible that there’s 7.1 oz of blankets in there… ;)

    Congrats man!

  3. WAH-HOO! Two little girls. Congrats. I will make a trip to Flagstaff just to ride with you in …18 years is it?

  4. Congrats Big J.!

    Sounds like you got that family shit out of the way. Time to get back to the drinking life!

  5. …awesome there, mom n’ dad…chloe anne’s a keeper…

    …looks like all them “wasted days & wasted nights” weren’t so wasted after all…

  6. Man, it seems like just yesterday you and The Gnome were kickin’ it in a Tucson trailer park.

    Get a shotgun my friend, those girls will be dating scumbags punks on single speeds before you know it.


  7. Way to go Jonny! Now put that thing away and stop overpopulating the trails with new, young cyclists! Oh wait, did you say girls?

  8. Jonny-


    Girls are cool until about the time they turn 13… Then, rather than watching out for one penis, you have to watch out for ALL OF THEM. Most (but not all) teenage girls in America live so fucking far from reality it’s scary. At least boys are simple to understand, and if they kill themselves, they usually go out in a blaze of glory.


  9. Jonny,

    When the boys start coming around just leave a shovel, rope and a bag of quicklime on the front porch.

  10. Congratulations on your daughter’s birth Jonny, hope your wife is feeling fine and best wishes for your family.

  11. As a friend blessed with a multiplicity of sons once told another friend who was celebrating the birth of his first child, a daughter:

    “It takes a man to put balls on a baby.”

    Cheap jokes aside, congrats to you and the missus on your successful eugenics experiments. I’m into cats myself, ’cause you can bust a cap in their ass when they start acting out and you need not enjoy the hot squativoo in Old Sparky as a consequence. Plus you can get another one without having to wait nine months, and they shit in a box. Still, each to his own.

  12. Despite what I feel about North Americans having more children, I gotta wish you and yours a healthy and happy future. Two words, Replacement Rate.

  13. congrats to you both, I have 2 girls almost twins, ohh they
    both ride at 6 and 7. had them on the bikes early.. ;-) like
    11months for my youngest.. Shes a little rocket.. LOL

  14. Now you look that man in the eye and keep a straight face when when you go in to buy that bike trailer. Congrats!

  15. Congratulations J+A! Rest up! have fun! what a cutie she is.

    And Chloe…ignore any lamentations or invitations. we’re just glad to have you around.

    peace y’all. thanks for making the world a little brighter.


    two girls…

    us tall freaks with the two girls…

    we’re so much man that we ain’t got any left for our kids!

    CONGRATS Jonny!

  17. The triple 6 shows up at 12 and seems to go away at….? Well it’s still hasn’t gone away at 21 & 24 yet. It just seems easier as they wear you down. Beautiful sweet little girl.

  18. I’m gonna go all non-Aristotelean on you and assert that it is neither blessing nor curse nor both nor neither. Anyway, congratulations! My little daughter is the best thing that ever happened to me, but she’s also a handful and there’s only one of her. So, here’s hoping you get enough sleep to get by, that you always keep your sense of humor handy, and the kids grow up healthy, strong and happy.

  19. Well done!
    Two girls = hand me downs= more $ for tires.
    Yea right. Never enough, but lots o fun.

  20. Six 13? You don’t say. You’re staring opportunity in the face. Wrap that baby in jailbreak stripes (bar-tape will do in a pinch), tack on a “Legalize My …” sticker, and you have a Cannondale ad campaign. That’ll pay for her college. (Or keep you in beers until she goes to college, as you prefer.)

  21. Cheers. Good on ya. I’ve got one due in Nov., I can only hope she or he turns out as lovely.

  22. Congrats Papa,
    A father of daughters, I can only imagine the shit your going to give those first boyfriends (grungy singlespeeders) they drag home.
    la vita e bella,

  23. Does this mean that my boy can have his choice of girls? We had a deal about an arranged marriage. You can’t back out now, I need that dowry for my retirement.

    Nice job my friend!

  24. jonny – congratulations!

    i got a text from dru a few weeks ago on their newborn as well.

    way to show that cyclists can have swimmers. even if they need arm floaties to get across the canal…

    take care!

  25. Congratulations to you and your wife Jonny. Darling wife and I have two girls and a boy to bring up the rear. Kids are the greatest blessing and the biggest curse in this world. They fill your life with so much love and bodily excretion that you wouldn’t know what to do without them. A blessing upon you and your family. Bjorn.