They are my friends

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I sat in the garage tonight, amongst the bikes. Some are the greatest things I’ve ever thrown a leg over. And some ain’t worth a shit. They are my friends.

I ran my eyes across the lot of ‘em, trying to keep tabs of which needed what, when I could do it, and whether I had the parts on hand or not. Some of it is just switching stuff from left to right and back again. Go figure. Its like musical fucking chairs out there.

As for actually “riding” them, well, lets just say that’s not quite settled yet.

Albert Hofmann, the mystical Swiss chemist who gave the world LSD, the most powerful psychotropic substance known, died Tuesday at his hilltop home near Basel, Switzerland. He was 102. Read more:

Long live bicycle day.

From: Dan
Subject: ‘Tis a sad day in ‘Bicycle Day’ land
Dear Jonny,
I hope you’ll get a mention on the site of the passing today of a remarkable man who performed a world-changing feat on a bicycle.

On April 19, 1943, Swiss chemist Albert Hofmann swallowed 250 micrograms of the substance he invented then climbed on his bicycle for a ride home. Along the way, his perceptions of the world were forever altered. Eventually, this feat would alter much of the world’s perceptions.

The substance was LSD, and that bike ride was the first intentional acid trip in mankind’s history.

Over the years, April 19 has come to be known around the world as Bicycle Day. Among many others, it is proudly celebrated by the denizens of the Famous Tuesday Night Ride here in Roanoke, Va.

Hofmann was 102 when he kicked the bucket. He gave the world a gift, and he will be missed.

These next few ain’t exactly current, but with kid number two knocking at the door (due this coming Sunday) I’ve been a bit behind the eight ball. By this time next week I hope to be swimming in it.

And by “it”, I mean the Eight Ball. Word to Olde English 800.

Every day about ground baby, every day above ground.

Our boy Spence got knocked the fuck up last week. Story and pics over at I hear he’s doing fine. One lucky bastard, that kid. I hope you’re feeling better, man. That shit had to hurt.

Word to the Cutters.

From: Cutter
Subject: Little 500
Hey Jonny,
The women’s little 500 was held yesterday and guess who was in attendance.
Yes, Mr. Obama was traveling through the area and decided to check it out.
This is the first time I can recall a presidential candidate attending the
race. I think that alone may be a reason to vote for him. What other
candidates attend bike races?

Speaking of somewhat dated news, I’m just getting started with this week old shit.

From: Mormon Sensation
Subject: Ride Times
I’ve been taking a straw poll for the past few weeks and there seems to be broad interest in doing a Snowbowl ride during the week. I am proposing changing the Wed Crit to Tuesday and start group sparring on Thursdays up Snowbowl. This is such a great climb, that we have in our backyard. Let’s try this format out next week APRIL 29th (Tuthill) and MAY 1st (Snowbowl) and see how it goes, it can evolve as necessary.

Tuesday (4.29):
5:00 @ PNT – roll out
5:30 @ Tuthill – Crit start

Thursday (5.1):
5:00 PNT – roll out
5:30 Base of Snowbowl – Climb start

I’m not going near that action with a ten foot poll. Me, on a bike, in a crit? Fuck that shit. I’ll be cooking franks on the sidelines. You want a cold one with that, holla at me.

From: the mostly reverend kim
Subject: tracking a would-be killer
we have a curious and widespread search going on in des moines for a man
whose sport is taunting runners and cyclists. it is an interesting blend
of athletes to track this guy down before he kills someone.
the question is: when we catch him, will the cops have the balls to DO
something to him?

read here:


I don’t even know what to say.

Will the cops do something? Maybe. Maybe not.

Will this situation get a lot worse? Probably.

Am I going to lose sleep if someone snatches this joker out his car and beats him like a drum and leaves him folded up in a ditch? Not fucking likely.

Link dump:

[’nuff said]
[man charged]
[read it]
[bring it]
[I love this one]

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

7 Replies to “They are my friends”

  1. Beers (including OE) are my friends when full; when emptied the next morning, they are the bane of my existence.

    Until the next time, that is.

  2. All you need is another friend, the OJ, to make a real lover… the Brass Monkey!!

  3. OE 800 HG!

    HG= High Gravity! 8.0 baby, two of ’em and your looking for something to hold onto!

    Good Times!

  4. Bikes will get you through times of no friends better than friends will get you through times of no bikes…