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I was transporting merchandise between two stores yesterday in a clapped out van, staring out the windshield and thinking of reasons not to drive straight off a fucking cliff. My mind wanders. Hillary came to mind. What’s with her (sorta) recent wacky denials of what appears to be irrefutable; her self alleged flight into a war zone dodging bullets and deflecting bullets with her Wonderwoman bracelets at Eagle Base in Tuzla, Bosnia, in March 1996? Ya’ll know about this one already, it’s old news like the writers strike.

She trotted it out like a proud little puppy. She flipped and bounced it from coast to coast. And it was, at best, a stretch. At worse, a complete fabrication. They video tape this shit, Hillary, did you think it was going to just dissapear somehow? CBS had it all in the archives. And they found it in all of ten minutes. You can watch it here.

This shows she’s ready for prime time? That she’s ready to me Commander in Chief?

I guess it shows she’s every bit as honest and heroic as George W. Bush. Two words for ya: Mission Accomplished.

This is like a Clinton theme or something. Their go to move like Stockton and Malone with the pic’n roll. Bill kept at his own denial (I did not have sexual relations with that woman…) until they found his DNA on that one damn blue dress. Its no stretch to think he would have stayed the course if not for the science.

What is it with these two? Just keep on lying until what you’re saying becomes the truth. Yeah, you thought it started with George W. Bush. We’ve had wall to wall idiots up in the White House.

What does that leave me to believe in?

I mean, aside from the 53-12.

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

27 Replies to “Billary”

  1. You are just mentioning the tip ‘o the iceburg. CNN asked Hillary about the potential conflict of interest between Bill accepting $800K from a Columbian Political Action group focused on a free trade agreement with the US and her self funding her campaign. Its a good question… Hillary just laughed, pardon.. cackled.

    Why can’t the press get rid of the two of them (Bill and Hill)? The press destroyed Howard Dean in 24 hrs.

  2. Um yeah…

    here try this on…

    Lance A, just as much of a lying sack of crap as the white house bunch…

    Deny deny deny

    I did not have sex with that woman

    I did not shoot my ass full of EPO

    Saddam had WMDs

    I have never used PEDs (wait he said he never tested positive for PEDs – is that different?)

    damn, now if there was just an HONEST person we could trust…


    Okay, i’m laughing to hard now to continue tuyping

  3. You are JUST NOW figuring out that the Clintons tend to cloak themselves in untruths and skew slightly towards “powermad?”

  4. Can’t we just say that both parties are filled with power crazed, delusional, lying, Bastards, and leave it at that? They’re both fascists, it’s just different areas of our lives and different sets of rights that they want to control and destroy. And by fascist I mean Government of the people, by the corporations, and for the corporations. American fascism is best evemplified by the statement “What’s good for General Motors is good for America” made a while back, partly in jest I think.

  5. Fuck that. I’ll stick with my weak-assed 42:16 TYVM.

    Call me a wuss, but after 3 litres of beer, I’m lucky if I can turn those enough to get me home in one piece.

    And I’ve said it before and I’ll repeat my self now. She is in it for herself and herself ONLY. Faulty memory my ass.

    Interestingly enough my father dies when the whole IMPEACHMENT thing was going down. My uncle came to help with paperwork, organizing shit… the usual. He and my sis went to dinner and I called after (I was back in school for the time being.) As she told me about their dinner somewhere I could hear him in his thick Arkansas accent stating clearly enough for me to hear… “I did NOT have CHEESECAKE with that WOMAN. That WOMAN is my NIECE. We did NOT SHARE ANYTHING that would CONTRIBUTE to my WAISTLINE…”

    Damn if I didn’t spit out my beverage.

  6. Actually the far more disturbing development over the past few days is the recent connections of torture discussions directly to Bush and Cheney, and the deafening silence of the media and Congress…

  7. I *never* lie.
    Or exagerate.

    Nyah Nyah Nyah.
    Personally I think it’s the combination of a suit & microphone that enhances un-truth.

    If you could only speak in a t-shirt & shorts..and have a lip reader type a transcript..perhaps that would cure lying on camera.

  8. jeez, i was always partial to a 52 x 11, whaddai know.. so given the media saturation and the utter commitment to superficial rigor, who precisely would want to enter into the executive role, unless they were imbalanced enough to want all the exposure and drama and shit that comes along. Who gives a shit if she didn’t get shot at when she was over there? she was there, how many of the bitcherz have been anywhere near a combat zone, hardly matters since it is their job to bitch, nothing more.. aaanyway no presidents are gonna materialize who we can agree aren’t power hungry because they’re running for fucking presideNT m

  9. bp – just built a commuter-bike Kona with that same combo! Gets me to work…just not very quickly!

    And Opus…yes, I can agree with the “gvnmnt by corp” deal…”WE THE PEOPLE” have been completely forgotten with regard to what WE think should be done in this country. We’ve been reduced to a number that fits into a tax bracket while we’re alive…and, amazingly enough, a number that fits into a tax bracket

  10. oooopppps…hung over and pressed submit on accident!

    Finishing thought…a number that fits into a tax bracket EVEN AFTER WE DIE! Now THAT is fucked up if you ask me.

  11. …laker girl…

    T.heorize…please, i’m tryin’ ta read your lips so just show us your goods…

  12. I believe in the healing power of sweat, adrenaline, endorphins, and caffeine.

    I believe in Gene Simmons, Ace Frehley, Paul Stanley, and Peter Criss.

    I believe Han shot first.

    I believe that if our elected officials are fucking idiots, then we have nobody to blame but ourselves. We have to support alternative parties, additional voices, and be willing to accept that to get past this Mongolian Cluster Fuck of a domestic and international quagmire, then we’ll have to deal with a lot of painful shit first.

    How long are we going to see this like a political Super Bowl? There’s a hell of a lot more than just two political parties. How many friggin’ cable tv channels are there? How many different kinds of Whisky are there? And I’m supposed to believe that we’re so goddamned retarded that when it comes to one of the most important choice of our lives (one that we face every four years), we can only comprehend “Beavis” or “Butt-Head?”

  13. I watched “La Course en Tete” today, and then enjoyed the first 70ish degree day of the year in Seattle, albeit astride the rain bike. I chased cars through the Arboretum in the 53×12. That was nice. I marveled at the families coming out of doors to squint at the yellow hazy thing in the sky, and noticed their fondness for driving to their picnic spots.

    I wonder what would happen if we (USAers) curtailed our willingness to fuel the “services” that continue to rape the pocketbooks of the masses and buoy the Bushes and Clintons and McCains of this nation up and away from any sense of duty or social conscience.

    Fuck, we might start to see some representation.

  14. Our electing of various nefarious persons to office has A LOT to do with the choices we are given. Here in IL, our choice for governor in the last election was a beat-down, gravel-voiced female Republican (the ONLY R to even hold a state-wide office at the time) or the slickster, pretty-boy-Elvis Democrat that DID get elected (and is currently under Federal investigation, probably resulting in him ending up in the same place the LAST IL gov currently resides…prison). Both candidates vowed to change the state (sound familiar at all?), too many believed the Dem, and lo and behold, the very same “culture of corruption” STILL EXISTS. Now, a third, or even a fourth party candidate would have been a NICE option, and may be looking at even better odds since there is a movement now to pass a law legalizing the recall of our public officials (VOTE YES). However, as with the Presidential contest, a combination of general public ignorance and lack of interest makes it seem like a moon shot.

    Personally, I think the fourth estate has a whole lot to do with the public perception additional parties. In the land of 10-second soundbytes and SPIN, has anyone else noticed that any mention of a third-party candidate is tainted with either incredulousness or the old sigh-and-eye-roll routine? And this is from the cable networks, as well. I think Ron Paul was a relative pioneer in his efforts to campaign through the internet…its just so damn hard to organize anything through that particular medium.

    Sorry for the ramble, I didn’t drink last night…or ride in the cold rain yesterday.

  15. …no worries, laker girl…

    …just using the magic of the intertubes to wordplay on the eloquence i see before my eyes…

  16. why was this shit less important than Obama stating the truth about voters in PA or voters anywhere for that matter.

    check me I am bitterer than a motherfuck come votn time and that on me Word to obama mama for call me out

  17. Guys-

    Hillary has her sights set on 2012. Obama will get crucified in the fall. President McCain will change everything… wait, never mind.

    I believe in the 53×12, or I would, if it ever stops snowing. It’s APRIL fer chrissakes. All I’ve got here is the 177cm x 82mm.