Diggin’ in the crates

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I can’t believe the “re-name big gay randy” thing was back in 2001.

Man, we’re getting old.

It seems Randy is sick and tired of being called “big gay randy”. He wants a better nickname. I think he believes the “big gay” thing is driving potential dates away. I’m pretty sure that has absolutely nothing to do with it, but I’ll humor the poor bastard.

From now on Randy is to be known as, or by, one of the following “I’m a pussy and don’t like my nickname” new and improved aliases:

1) Incredibly Masculine Randy – Speaks for itself really. Like a Viking God, he is.

2) Big Dick Randy – Another crowd favorite for sure. But, it still leaves the door open on the whole gay thing. Does he have a big dick, or does he crave big dick. Could pose problems.

3) Irresistible Bottle of Pure Unadulterated Machismo Randy – As good as that may sound, there is no way in hell I’m going to get into the habit of typing that on a regular basis. Sorry.

4) Never Been Ass-Banged Randy – Maybe the funniest of the bunch, but I don’t think he’s gonna like this one so much.

5) All Man Randy – I like this one, simple, concise and to the point. However, if used commonly All-MANdy is a much better alternative.

6) Irresistible Lady Killer Randy – Tell it like it is, buddy. Or, tell it like you’d like it to be. Whatever.

See it in the archives: drunkcyclist.com/archive/2001_may.htm

And be warned – the archives are a fucking trainwreck.

About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

8 Replies to “Diggin’ in the crates”

  1. Not sure but I think his new name should be “Weeping Vagina Randy” whahahahahahaha. My fucking nicknames include angry midget, Osama Bin Jesse, Jesse Bin Laden, Uncle Va-J-J, Jetski, Bobke, and schoompie doodle.

  2. My nicknames include Hennessey (thank you BruceDickMan.com), Unrestrained, Anger Management, and that guy that needs to quit getting so pissed off. Then again, it ain’t so bad being angry whiskeed up and unrestrained. ‘least I’m not big gay dan.

    …and Randy, if you show up at a bowling alley in Vegas with a t-shirt that says, “I’m Big Gay Randy”, well man, you are in fact, Big Gay Randy.

  6. I like all man Randy out of that bunch, here are some others: for the Republicans: Big Closeted Randy, for the Kids: Candy In My Pants Randy, for the curious: I’m not gay but am willing to learn Randy, for Randy: Smilin’ Randy

  7. …jeez, well before the internet, ‘bikesgonewild’ used to be referred to as ‘hogwild’…

    …doesn’t matter if i or others are choosing my name, i sense a trend…

    …good luck w/ the handle, randall…