251 Tips that Suck
1. Ride your bicycle piss-drunk. Fun will rain upon you like blood from your forehead. You may run down a pedestrian, engage in fisticuffs with a motorist, lose a big gamble or even invent your own particular style of a good time. Or you might crash and burn on the median, losing your helmet in the process.
2 – 251. Subscribe to the premier cycling publication in the USA, Bicycling Magazine and receive a few issues for the low low price of some math to make their price look lower. And you’ll get Mountain Bike magazine for free! If that exciting publication isn’t enough of a bonus to convince you to get magazines with oiled oil muscled dudes on the cover you’ll also receive the best 250 recycled and rehashed old tips ever, for free. Maybe your next issue will be about Shonny VanSomething or even about America’s next Tour Champ, Floyd Landis. Clearly these people know what they’re talking about, on the cutting edge of the sport. Hardtails are dead dude, haven’t you heard?
Sorry Rodalians, gotta bust your balls on this one. Venture to subscribe to Bicycling Magazine, the biggest of the big boys, and you are greeted with the above thumbnail featuring the face of disgraced Pennsyltucky native Floyd Landis, linked to the role-model Rock Racing as of late based on the bathroom rumor. Some people held on to hope longer than others, but even for the relative neighbors in Emmaus it’s time to give up hope. Change the thumbnail already.by