Ride Clean cleans up

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Team Ride Clean, sponsored in part by Drunkcyclist.com (yes, I write checks), took a few big wins this weekend.

And we ain’t even to Sunday yet.

Arizona’s new State Champion is Brain “Ham Fist” Forbes. He won it in grand style, losing his breakaway partner on the finishing incline. That makes two state titles for Hammy this year, the first being the Team Time Trial from back in September. (pdf link for State Champ race info if you’re interested.)

Good on ya, Hammy. I guess sleeping in my living room last night did you good. Must have been the cool mountain air. Or that seven foot thick air mattress you brought with ya. Damn thing looks like a fucking barge. I’ve never seen anything quite like it in my life.

And I’ve seen a lot of things.

Dan “HD” McGehee won his seventh Cochise County Cycling Classic title today. The man is seemingly unstoppable. Seven? You gotta be fucking kidding me. What can’t he do? The man is simply en fuego.

In related news, our dear Bacardi Marti was conned into taking on Cochise this year for the first time. Not the first time being conned by HD; he’s a sucker for the drink and HD is a swindler. Just his first time taking on the Mighty Cochise. And he took a fine third place.

To think I had him pegged for a flat on his back in a Dairy Queen parking lot DNF… (yes, I actually said that.)

At least I didn’t bet on ’em like I did Big Silver. I’d be a twenty spot lighter if I had.

Good looking out, fellas. I’ll keep holding it down here with my fat ass on the sofa and all that, you boys keep doing the pedal/suffer/hurting/pain thing you do so well. Yeah.

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

8 Replies to “Ride Clean cleans up”

  1. If drunkcyclists keep having weekends like this, folks might have to reconsider booze as a performance enhancing drug.


    fucking nice dan incredible, and can we hear it for marty for taking the bait and kicking ass?

  3. Oooh, whoopedy shit, someone broke a ridiculously difficult record completely clean. Call me when some doped up piece of euro shit has his heart explode trying to one up it.

  4. hollo – you like ride team kazackstahn? we ride ‘clean’ too.

    next year your colonial sanders sends us big monies for sponsor

    we will ride KFC Trek’s and love the unite state doctors.

  5. Marty was the delivery truck on Saturday. He was so strong in the bitching headwind down Rt. 80 that I was hardly getting a chance to recover. When he realized that it was time to bust it up, he buried himself to launch me into the final 22 mile death-march TT. I’ve ridden the 252 Cochise nine times, and that was far and away the most impressive rookie ride I have witnessed. It was an honor to ride with him. We missed the MicroMan (Al Schott) – but we were fortunate to have a great crew with us – Greg, Bill, Will, Bryan. These events are a group effort – and sometimes the riding is the easy part!! Thanks Boyz

  6. All hail King Marty, Oh the joy oh the joy! See what a few Clif bars will do for ya. Congrats dude! Now go get a job.