I have hijacked Juan Grande’s Site

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This is Jackass writing to let you know that I just received a bad news phone call from Big Jonny. Big Jonny is in jail in Colorado Springs. Can you believe that a nice upstanding guy like Jonny could be in jail????? Wow!!!

Big J is not going to be posting for quite some time. How long you say??? I’m not sure. Perhaps someone could let me know how long it takes to get out of jail if you are arrested for masturbating in public. Is a library public? He said only a few people were watching and that he only really drew attention to himself when he tripped over the pants around his ankles.

Anyway, his bail is only $2000 and his court date is in a month. Anyone that would like to help: Send anything you can spare to the Save Jonny fund or just buy a pair of fucking socks or a t-shirt, or a beer cozy, or even just a bottle opener from his site. Anything will help

God bless and god speed to Jonny in his quest to be free of jail!

Thanks for listening, THE Jackass

— edit — I just figured out what jackass has been doing in his corner of the hotel room with my laptop… Fucker. I’m not in jail. Fuck you Jackass. Sorry everyone. I’ll keep a better eye on him in the future. And try to remember to log out when I leave the computer running in the corner of the hotel room. —

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

10 Replies to “I have hijacked Juan Grande’s Site”

  1. …colorado springs IS DIFFERENT !!!…it’s september around the whole u.s. of a. but in the ‘springs’ it’s april 1st…you lads is high on sumpthin’…

    …course, if it is true…as a defense, just tell ’em you were making the sign of the cross ‘really fast’…

  2. …this is ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

  3. OK so now I know wtf, someone named jackass posted a fake message to DC using Big Jonny’s login. Not that I wouldn’t have bought the socks anyway, eventually.


  4. ‘Bout time.

    He’s been masturbating in public on this site for years, and nobody’s said anything.

    /in andred dice clay voice/ Oooohhh!

  5. oh you guys…what tomfoolery and hijinx… wish i was there to share. just checked in and thought for a second that Big J was INDEED incarcerated. was ready to post the bail to get him out in time to beg him to be my booth bitch in the city of Lost Wages…

    what say you Jonny?