Fuck you Tony

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Seems I got me a new friend in the Kansas City area.

Good news. That’ll match up well with the century farm my uncle is minding out that way. Yep, I got family out there. Generations of family.

I fired off Our Dear Tony an email earlier today, right about the same time I posted something about his bullshit attitude and anger at his father. Tony, really, counseling, medication, it’ll work wonders. Go see someone. Really. Don’t be so proud. We all feel your pain.

From: jonny
Subject: Dead cyclists are not funny
The subject line says it all. Two people died. Not funny.

I got a reply from Our Dear Tony:

From: Tony
Subject: Re: Dead cyclists are not funny
So even if a clown died in a unicycle crash it’s not funny? What if his horn didn’t work?

Sometimes satire isn’t intended to be “ha-ha” funny but everybody has their own preferences and clearly my kind of writing isn’t everyone’s “bag.” I enjoyed your post by the way. Next time you should try cussing more
. . .

Still, all kidding aside, thanks for the e-mail and the links.

All the best. Stay safe out there and thank you for reminding other bikers to do the same.


He even posted about me. I think he’s impressed with my salty language. Read it here: tonyskansascity.com/…all-i-get-is-grief-for-my-good-work

Love the comment section. I am now considered “cyber-tough”. Unfortunately, since I’m all thumbs over here, “the cyber-hater-girly way he handled it really doesn’t bode well for how easy it is to question the sexuality of dudes with shaved legs pedaling around the city wearing spandex.”

You can question my sexuality all you want. You certainly won’t insult me in any way by doing so. What does someone’s sexually matter?

It doesn’t to me. But it might to you.

I haven’t shaved my legs in years. Maybe you haven’t noticed, but the male talent in the porn industries shaves. A lot. Those guys are no stranger to the razor. I guess you think they’re fruit salad too, even though they pull world class trim the kind you’ve only dreamed about?

Can I get a witness?

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

16 Replies to “Fuck you Tony”

  1. I would be hesitant to get in a pissing contest with someone from Kansas City, simply because Kansas City sucks.

    But don’t let that stop you.

  2. …witness, big jon, witness…

    i’m pretty easy going & i’m amazed by both the justifications & the defensive posturing by this character & his little blog buddies. it’s like he knows he’s being a dick, but hey, thats his creative way of setting himself apart, so that makes it OK. kc tony does seem to need some kind of professional help.

    he slams you & this site cuz you ” cuss ” ?? really ??
    the fuckin’ asswipe son of a bitch oughta use a little ” cussing ” now & again, release some energy & maybe his pent up frustrations wouldn’t lead him to find humor in the plight of others.

    to make light of OTHERS, especially in a life & death situation, now THAT IS an egregious sin, whereas a little swearing, why shit, thats just poor fucking taste !! wake the fuck up, tony!

    feel free to pass this on, jonny, cuz i don’t know if i wanna find myself, “going to kansas city”.

  3. Jon,

    This dude is just pissed that he lives in Kansas City. What a fuckin’ stinkin’ cesspool of crime and filth. Last time I was there they had a show called “Kansas City’s Most Wanted”. Like America’s Most Wanted, but just for the lowlife’s of KC.

    This dude needs to grow the fuck up. Making fun of people that put themselves into a situation is one thing (i.e.; Britney Spears, G.W.Bush) but to make fun of a guy and his granddaughter getting killed is not. I wonder if he’d still think it was funny if he had to go face to face with the wife, grandmother and parents of the dead?

  4. Kansas and Texas are in a race to see who can occupy the bottom of American life.

    Yep, that’s what they need, more “cultural” issues. Like banning road bikes. It’s a perfect diversion of what’s important, when you’re a loser state in terms of economy and education and health.

    Keep snacking on the Republican “cultural” shit sandwich. “My! Shit is SO Tasty!” says Tony.

  5. maybe poor old tony was born without nuts, or they never dropped. whatever the case may be, the bastard’s a crusty old cum dumpster.

    if anything, we ought to have laws against brash ignoramuses, i bet that would cut out a lot more unnecessary deaths than taking bikes off the streets. first thing to do, take away their drivers licenses and guns.

  6. Kansas keeps going back and forth on the question of evolution. This guys blog actually makes me think that maybe they’re on to something out there…. Maybe – and I’m just throwing out ideas here – maybe Kansas chose to “opt out” a few decades ago. End result: TKC

    But in reality I think his “satire” is more like the little shitbag from gradeschool who kept needling you until you popped him. Unfortunately we’ll probably never be able to have that satisfaction.

    But leave it to a douchebag like this to redefine “satire.” It is “a literary genre, chiefly dramatic, in which human or individual vices, follies, abuses, or shortcomings are held up to censure by means of ridicule, derision, burlesque, irony, or other methods.” So the only subject of his “satire” in these fucking stories should be the slurpee sucking land manatee in her road tank, because that’s the only person who did something wrong here.

  7. …ah, shit, i did, “go to kansas city”. left a little message for poor backwards ‘ynot’ to help him in his ‘good work’.

    …& that, for the most part is a seriously fucked up crowd.

  8. It’s so sad that this dumb motherfucker wants to make it racial. “Cranky white people?” And yet he gets to make fun of African Americans, White People, and whatever else for that matter is pissing him off. Think I’m kidding about his making fun of African Americans? Take a look at this little nugget of wisdom from Tony – http://www.tonyskansascity.com/2007/08/guilty.html. Apparently his definition of “satire” allows him to use a racist image.

    He also gets to use demeaning images of women throughout his blogs, and he gets to use profanity as well as grossly homophobic language, and he’s bitching about your use of “cussing?” Tony is the farthest thing from a credible arbiter of culture,civility, and wit. Having read his posts, I wouldn’t be surprised to know that his family fucked buffalo.

    I guess he’s basing his career definition as a freelance writer, artist, and media consultant upon recognition from local media outlets. That and he has 6 blogs, three of which he hasn’t contributed to in 1 year. Just because he runs one blog and contributes to it often makes him a writer? Wow. I’m so impressed. Maybe his “reporting” on issues of dubious import past readers in and around the Kansas City area makes him a writer as well. As a former book editor, I find his “writing” to have the gravity of an air biscuit.

    And so what if I wear bike jerseys or Under Armour when I skate? Just what is Tony trying to say? Is it my fault because I aspire to be more than a bloated land mammal? He can kiss my fucking ass. He gets to use the excuse that he was being humorous, and it’s my fault for not being able to take a joke? Tony, if you can’t deal with the heat from your comments, cowboy the fuck up, you whiny little bitch.

    The net is loaded with little dingleberries like Tony from Kansas City. I will not bring myself down to his level by commenting on his blog or visit it ever again. And Big Jonny, think of it this way – this little bitch doesn’t seem to have one sponsor or advertiser on his site.

  9. Tony’s readers know that he is an ass clown and make a point of telling him so. Let’s not give him any more attention to thrive on.

  10. for the record:

    the post where he claims the riders sold their lights and were therefore to blame seems bogus, or at least misleading.

    i love how he accompanies the post with a random photo of a cyclist riding at night;


    however, from the photos in the kc channel 9’s website, it appears the accident occurred in what I would call ‘broad fuckin’ daylight’



    it does say that the accident occurred in the evening, so it’s possible that glare or poor visibility could have been partially to blame.

    still, anyone using the roadway needs to take this into account

    in summation, I would say it’s a good idea to run with lights during twilight hours and at night(for cars and bikes!), but ultimately conclude that tony is a douchebag