Ask a silly question….

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Another email:

From: pimpbot
You gotta love craigslist.
I have 2 dogs & I was buying a large bag of Pal at Big W and standing inline at the check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Pal Diet again although I probably shouldn’t because I’d ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV’s in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Pal nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I’d ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I’d been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.

Stupid bitch…why else would I buy dog food?

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

5 Replies to “Ask a silly question….”

  1. Johnny, I’ve sat sooooo quiet whilst you talk your shit, and I talk mine. Now I realize we talk one of the same. The same creature spews shittalk, and someone else takes it cause they want it…

    Keep it up, my dog food feeds me too…



  2. Don’t you just love when that kind of shit just rolls off your tounge when someone gets you going. My best lines come when I’ve been drinking, and a stupid question comes out. I’m usually kind of anoyed when this happens, and it’s only funny for my friends. It’s not till later that I can enjoy it for myself. Keep up the great work!