Two tears in a bucket so fuck it. Big Jonny wanted me to write a few things every now and again so here we go. I was writing race reports back in the day while most of you shit dicks were still wondering where you were going to your billy ride for the day. So ho hum what to write about today. Ah shit I got a good one. One day back when I was fast or at least I thought I was fast Big Jonny (who is 6-4 by the way) and Drew came up to Flag to do the state finals mountain bike race. Turns out that I’m house sitting this doctors house who has a basket ball court in his back yard. So the three of us get into a nasty game of horse. Well I take Drew out with some doctor like moves. Then on to Big Idiot. So anyway I come up with this trick shot through this tree. You really had to be there, but it was some 25 footer that you had to have some high arc on the ball so it would go over the tree limb yet drop in with nothing but net. So I had to try a few to get it to go but finally got it to drop. So Jonny and Drew are shitting their pants cuz they cant believe that I got it to drop. So Big Juan gets up there and totally hits the limb. So that gives him a HORS, so now all I have to do is get him on E and he is done. So why not put the big fella out with a dunk. So standing flat footed right under the rim I jump up and dunk that shit. Hahahah So shit dick and Drew are standing there like what the fuck. Well turns out I got hopps for a white guy and Big Shit Dick Jonny got HORSE.
Ill write more amazing tales of Big Jonny so you all can know him like I do……..
I remember that shit. You fucker.
I may be tall, but I can’t jump. Nor can I palm a basketball.
So, no dunking for this pear shaped fool.
And, yo, Snake, you sure I’ve never beat you at horse? Not even once?
when you going to tackle some real competition?
i’ve got my laces tied tight and i’m ready to fight.