Drunkcyclist.com

Billy Penn is a fat quaker bastard. For real. Fuck him. Philly now pegged at one hundred seasons and zero championships. Since 1983.
Shoot me.
At least I’m not using the seat belt to hold the beer while my kid crawls around in the foot well of my car. No, [...]

From: Rob in Queens
Subject: no subject
Jonny-
Been a while.
Congats on the new one. I finally built me a ‘Cross bike. A steel Bianchi, of course. Last bling thing I pick up before the double ass fucking I’m about to receive from home ownership.

From: Brice
Subject: DC minions
Dude,
I was in Vegas last weekend. Sunday morning, I standing in the Mandalay Bay enjoying a cup of coffee trying to clear previous evenings fog from my head. I was sporting one of my black, almost brown now, DC T-shirts that I wear all the time.
There was a [...]

I sat in the garage tonight, amongst the bikes. Some are the greatest things I’ve ever thrown a leg over. And some ain’t worth a shit. They are my friends.
I ran my eyes across the lot of ‘em, trying to keep tabs of which needed what, when I could do it, and [...]

My daughter and I were laying on the sofas, her on the smaller loveseat and me on the full size. Heads towards each other and legs pointing away making an L against the walls of the living room. We giggled and smiled. Blankets, pillows, the whole nine. It was Friday night and [...]

I spend last Sunday in hiding. I avoided the telephone and internet, and most people truthfully, until the magic hour of 2:00 pm. For that is when the Versus channel played the delayed coverage of the Tour of Flanders, the storied 92nd Ronde van Vlaanderen. I wanted no spoilers to intrude on [...]

I started riding my bike to work this week. Two days under the belt so far. On two different bikes no less. Tomorrow I’ll ride a different one. Maybe even finish out the week with the same routine. Sure makes the martinis taste nice.
What else I got?
From: [...]

I’m walking to work the other morning, I’m late, the sickness is just kicking in. Going back to bed seems like an excellent idea. At least it’s sunny.
On the other side of the street I see this dude in a black sweatshirt leaning over his bike and digging through a cardboard box. [...]

The one: You haven’t touched a bike all week. You’ve been drinking like a fish. You’re coming in a bit heavy.
The two: My wife drives to work, so I get a ride with her telling myself, if she’s already going that way… The liver is evil and must be punished… [...]

Where is Pineapple?
This one hit my inbox last night when I was, ahem… sleeping. I got it this morning.
From: Pineapple
Subject: hey…
i thought i should let a mass email do the talking for me. tomorrow i am having a hip replacement. i am a little nervous and thought a little action [...]