Drunkcyclist.com

From today’s Los Angeles Times coverage of the Southern California wildfires:
Rod Percival, 46, coasted his mountain bike down Las Flores Canyon Road, his dog Ayla skittering behind him. Like many residents, Percival and his wife had refused to leave Malibu. Late Tuesday morning, he used his trusty bike to take stock, as best as he [...]

You just can’t make this stuff up. From The Associated Press, under the headline, “Rice worried by Putin’s broad powers,” we learn the following:
MOSCOW (AP) — The Russian government under Vladimir Putin has amassed so much central authority that the power-grab may undermine Moscow’s commitment to democracy, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said Saturday.
“In any [...]

Track goddess Marion Jones — surprise surprise — has copped to using performance-enhancing drugs, according to a story in The Washington Post. She won five medals in the 2000 Olympics, three of them gold, and according to the AP “was one of track’s first female millionaires, typically earning between $70,000 and $80,000 a race, [...]

Snarlin’ Arlen Specter (R-Twilight Zone) doesn’t know who Jenna Jameson is. Well, actually, he didn’t know who she was, but now he does, because she got a tour of the Capitol on Thursday — reportedly from one of Spector’s minions.
According to “The Sleuth,” a.k.a. Mary Ann Akers of The Washington Post, the adult film industry [...]

Business name of the week: Morning Wood, seen stenciled on the back of a beater Dodge 2WD pickup riding ominously low on its springs today in Bibleburg, Colorado. The outfit apparently delivers wood, perhaps to our many Repuglicant family-values sky pilots, maybe even the sort used in fireplaces and woodstoves. Who could know? Don’t ask, [...]

You’ll be pleased to learn that cycling isn’t the only sport plagued by lying, cheating sacks of runny owlshit. From The New York Times comes word that McLaren Mercedes, the leading team in the Formula One championship, has been fined $100 million and excluded from the constructors’ title as part of an ongoing spying scandal:
The [...]

Big Jonny has neither been caught up in the Rapture nor sent onward by Christian Soldiers (although rumor has it that he has agreed to pose for a series of new angel statues to be installed at Nude Life Church). It’s just that The One Dark Lord decided to spend his tour of duty in [...]

I must take exception to Big Jonny’s description of my hometown in the vile post below. “Graveyard with lights,” indeed. The actual phrase, as employed in the late Seventies by Rusty Mitchell, former food editor for the Gazette Telegraph, is “cemetery with lights,” although she occasionally used the slightly less pejorative “suburb without a city.”
But [...]

Former New Life Church pastor Ted Haggard, who resigned in disgrace after a dubious relationship with a meth-dealing gay hooker, is at it again. This time, he’s begging for money to keep him and the family in bacon and beans while he “ministers” to the downtrodden and attends college in Phoenix.
According to the Gazette, Haggard [...]

Comes the news from The Old Gray Lady that some of NASA’s space cowboys have gone from the right stuff to the good stuff, which is to say that they’ve been getting good and hammered before slipping the surly bonds of Earth. Are you shittin’ me? You want me to sit on top of a [...]