Drunkcyclist.com

This just in from cyclocross nationals in Kansas City: “Beer sales, they say, have lagged as the temperature has dropped.”
And we’re stuck there for another year? Time for Flagstaff to put in a bid. They’ll still be pounding ‘em down there after the sun’s burned out. “Fuckin’ dark, huh, Jonny? Fuckin’ cold, too. Better gimme [...]

Beauty and the beast
My newish Subaru
has a drinking problem.
It swills coolant
And then, feverishly,
pukes it back up.
The ’83 Toyota pickup
shakes its greasy cylinder head
in disgust
at this stationary wagon
with its heated seats and power everything
and like Old Man River
just keeps rolling along.

I can’t wait to see Bike Snob NYC tackle this one — a crew of teens in Queens riding two-wheeled sound systems.
Nick Ragbir’s DJ booth-slash-bicycle includes an amplifier, two 15-inch bass woofers and four midrange speakers; it plays music from his iPod and is powered by car batteries.
“It’s really big where I come from in [...]

Read it and weep, bitches — Bibleburg is the third drunkest city in the Benighted Snakes of Amerika, according to Men’s Health magazine. Only Denver and Anchorage, Alaska, pound it down harder and faster than Bibleburgers, who apparently will drink anything from stolen communion wine to Aqua Velva. And Flagstaff? Doesn’t even crack the top [...]

. . . here comes Masters Cycling magazine, your guide to the world of sand-bagging, treachery and egomania. Every issue will have a mirror on the cover and contain a number of cutting-edge features vital to the gray panthers of the peloton, including:
The Mercedes-Benz GL550: Six Bikes That Look Fast On the Roof!
‘Watch Your Line, [...]

. . . comes this item from The Associated Press:
Man Killed by Gator While Fleeing Police
MICCOSUKEE TRIBE INDIAN RESERVATION, Fla. (AP) — A man who jumped into a lake to flee police was killed by an alligator more than 9 feet long, officials said Tuesday.
The man, whose name has not been released, was allegedly [...]

This just in, from the Fort Worth Star-Telegram via The San Francisco Chronicle:
Police Cite Man for Watching Porn in Car
Police issued a citation for a man accused of watching pornography on his car DVD player. Cameron J. Walker, 24, of Irving, was issued misdemeanor citations for obscene display or distribution, not having a driver’s license [...]

On a board, gasping
As his tormenter pours, smiles
Dreaming of surfing

. . . to Jerry Thomas, “the Jupiter Olympus of the bar,” according to “The Bartender Who Started It All”, a story in today’s New York Times.
The tale’s jumping-off point is “Imbibe!” (Perigee Books, $23.95), a biography-slash-recipe book by David Wondrich, the drink correspondent for Esquire. Wondrich follows Thomas’s perigrinations from Sackets Harbor, N.Y., to [...]

A lap full of cat
All too soon, it is empty
The earth is hungry