At 34, I once again set down the wrenches and walked away from another tour of Shop Life. This time, it was only 6 months long and it bridged the gap between a failed Tucson design gig and my new life as a member of the biketrailershop.com family. I was happy to be back in a shop at the start, but the time was right when I left. While I’m happy to stay in the bike biz (because it’s the shit), I’m absolutely elated to no longer have direct, hand to hand, intensive involvement with customers or shop ownership. No more ridiculous processes and no more Thursday morning meetings as if that’s the problem.
Most importantly, no more half assed shit.
After seven tours in shops, this last stint was the most futile effort to blend with the dysfunction of shop life. I guess I’m too old and it was too dumb. I found reinforcement of my frustration on a daily basis from the word go. From a completely non-reactive bizarrely strange & seemingly arrogant ownership, to the occasional lunch with Sausage, I was continually stunned into futility by almost all of it. “The shop is profitable…” was all the reason needed to justify the unnecessary chaos, the stress, and the ridiculous control that ultimately brought down an untold list of class act hacks. All well intended. All broken by “The Management”. Self Included. And I could go on about the minutia, but what’s the point?
“The shop is profitable” as reason for anything, is something I expect to hear fall from the mouths of ignorant red neck douchebags in SuperDuty’s. But instead, it was here, at a bike shop. A place I think of as a refuge from the glut of the American Dream. But, capitalism being what it is, gluttonous ignorance leads the way. 150 bikes sold last month, straight from China to you. And with that, record gross. And with that, must come all the reason necessary to be self righteous and ignorant beyond comprehension. The proof is in the numbers after all. WWJD? Feverous devotion to useless minutia. Congrats to the dumb luck. As it should be.
If there’s one material thing my soul needs, it is two wheels. In that, shops are a place of two wheel followers… disciples. Among us heads, we speak of and preach the spirit behind our two wheel devotion. There by choice. Funny how it works. And would I do it any better? Absolutely not. It’d be nice if there was a utopia, but I’ve never seen it. The hippies are wrong.
I guess it just comes down to one’s own self and what they can do to improve it on their own terms. What the fuck do I know? On to other things…
Comments
29 Responses to “Dark Lord”
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Jeff on June 24th, 2008 6:13 pm
Holy shit, your spelling sucks. You may be the greatest bike mechanic of all time, but learn how to use spellcheck!
Seriously, I’m shocked at your shameful attempt to use all those big words…
(I hope you don’t true a wheel with the same wreckless abandon you use to craft a sentence!)
Gnome on June 24th, 2008 7:12 pm
Spelcheck is for losers. (Seriously, you’re not a loser are you jef?)
mitch on June 24th, 2008 7:44 pm
what if my SooperDooties exhaust smells like it’s cooking something tasty….? and there’s a mtb in the back? and pbr in the cooler? am i off the hook?
David P. on June 24th, 2008 7:49 pm
“Um, does Dim-Sum come with that?”
At the very least, they could have passed out 5¢ fortune cookies with each purchase of a bike.
Ryan on June 24th, 2008 10:07 pm
A disciple by definition walks in the face of logic and rationality, but when the disciple, of any movement or philosophy starts to justify or relate actions made in terms such as “profitable” it is time to end the discussion and back away slowly.
Congrads on the new job.
It looks like a much better fit all the way around.
Chris on June 25th, 2008 5:46 am
I’ve been there man and it feels like the hum of the neon is sucking out the will to live. Hopefully it’s better at the new gig. Working with enthusiasts is one of the best things ever, working with team think douchebags will destroy all that aren’t oblivious.
Good luck.
-dan on June 25th, 2008 7:09 am
damn boy. today is my 1 year anniversary at the shop I currently work at (not dropping names). I do not believe I could have said it any better. I might just print this out and give it to the boss/owner/douchebag in hopes of getting fired.
All is not lost, it is just missing the point.
ChicagoBiker on June 25th, 2008 8:38 am
at least your not bitter.
yourmom on June 25th, 2008 8:55 am
a lot of us know how you feel man, good job getting out
does anybody else ever wonder why so many bike shops in AZ (and maybe the rest of the country for all i know) are sucking the huge Specialized dick so much. nothing like having everybody out there on the same carbon fiber clone bike that they bought from their local sell out homogenous shop.
i may also have missed the point but i needed to let that one out
dentext on June 25th, 2008 9:16 am
What the fuck was in *your* coffee?
Life, work, daily BS aint that bad, ol boy.
My grandmother was orphaned by a coal mine, for godsake.
One of the dealy deals O existmania is to figure out how to scratch out a livin & be happy about it.
ie quityerbitchin, or at least mark with the /bitch /moan tag.
Lest you forget, bike is only part of a 360 life.
And if you recognize dentext, well,..you know.
Fuck spelling, give it your best, but then wield words and bend the language around your thought, meaning, and being….
that’s the shit.
big jonny on June 25th, 2008 9:27 am
My last day is this coming Friday. Gnome is writing about the shop we both work(ed) at. I too have had enough and am heading towards greener pastures.
Pineapple - out. Big Gay Randy - out. Gnome - out. Big Jonny - out.
This place is as fun as the average mortuary of late. Please don’t kick over the faded plastic flowers on your way through the front door.
sommerfliesby on June 25th, 2008 10:12 am
Dayum! Anybody want a job at a bike shop in Flag?
-dan on June 25th, 2008 10:39 am
yourmom gets it, appearently so does Big Jonny and crew.
bike shops are becoming sterile - asshole generators. It is the same thing as the mom and pop autoshop where the old man worked on cars because he loved them. He charged enough to make a living and took care of his customers. This is apposed to the shop that is happy to sell a dude a $6000 pro-race bike with a Delta steer-tube extender to make it comfortable. Dude needs a Riv, not a bastardized douche-cycle.
Wal-Mart, it’s all turning to Wal-Mart.
Mikey on June 25th, 2008 10:51 am
Guys-
I love bike shops, but I’ve never worked in one.
I even love mega-corporate bike shops like my neighborhood Performance store, and mega-corporate bikes like my Specialized fullie and my LeMond (Trek in disguise) ‘cross rig. I love finding good mechanics and schmoozing them; they take care of my shit.
I suppose it’s the same thing we’ve always said about skiing: if you want to maintain your love for the sport, DO NOT get a job teaching or selling equipment.
So Jonny, et al, thank you… and don’t let the bastards wear you down. Keep the rubber side down. Awoo.
Mikey
Don Guapo on June 25th, 2008 10:56 am
Hey ShortTimer, fun as a mortuary, really? I remember laughing a good portion of the morning away at your new gold chain. At the very least you have the guts to voice your opinion in support of your friend before your tour of duty is up. A great service you have done yourself, to spend your last week in the hotseat in a joke free zone. That takes balls, man. No brains, but balls. What are your plans? Law school? That takes planning, right? And a notice. “Fuck you guys, this place sucks, I’m leaving in six weeks!”
flagstaffist on June 25th, 2008 11:20 am
lo…behold, the bitterness reigns.
A shop is a shop is a shop is a shop. No shop is the same.
shop support pays my entries, gets me gear at prices my grad-school ass can afford. shops feed my friends, fed me, taught me.
i worked at a trek dealer, and went to their Extravaganza in Madison one year - instead of being surrounded by fanatics and afficionados i heard things like “margins” and “point of sale” and “web development” and stuff i never really thought about - the stuff you’d hear at an Abercrombie and Fitch annual retailers meeting. We toured a Madison Trek Store that had little soul but sure made women customers feel comfortable. and it had espresso and one of Lance’s ‘99 tour bikes.
cyclingnews has this latest nugget:
“SuperCheap hits Australian market”
http://www.cyclingnews.com/tech.php?id=/tech/2008/news/06-20
Quite appropo.
Mikey has the right idea. you want to be a fanatic? don’t try to feed yourself on bikes. or if you do, just make sure your wife, or husband, has either a good mutual fund or gainful employment with benefits.
Look, whether you turn a wrench or manage inventories - shops are bloody hard work. some consume their young. others reproduce like Performance. and some implode in a blaze of not-quite-name-brand glory.
i sign out with this:
what do we want a shop to be?
sommerfliesby on June 25th, 2008 11:21 am
Ya ever have one of those days when you put your jeans on for work, and they are new jeans, and the legs are too long so you decide to cut them off, but its 4:25 in the morning and you cut them like 2 inches too short, so now they are total floods..but then you realize that it’s raining today, so it’s all good? Well THAT’S the day I’m having. Hope everything works out for you all.
Mikey on June 25th, 2008 11:25 am
Hey fixie kids, watch and learn:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hX9phXawPc4
when I see some fixie kid doing a track stand at the light, WHILE SITTING ON THE FRONT TIRE, well damn, that’s pretty cool.
Mikey
skidhuck.com on June 25th, 2008 12:18 pm
Ding Dong the Witch is dead…bye bye Team Drunk Cyclist…I do miss Malibu though…
Patrick Fowler on June 25th, 2008 1:30 pm
Agreed!! I walked away from the business after 25+years and 10 years of ownership. It’s much better to love the bike, and the sport and not make a living at it! Peace
dentext on June 25th, 2008 2:47 pm
Um, contrary to popular opinion, a mortuary can be a pretty damn fun place to work, as long as one stays out of the..plumbing..end of things.
Try working in as many types of places as possible.
So you’ve checked one more off the list.
One of the cooler mortuary gigs, btw…Obit writer.
the pinapple on June 25th, 2008 4:36 pm
good on the both of you fuckers (jaun/gnome). post-shop life is treating me well, and i expect it to do the same to you both (except juan, you can go fuck a sheep (but remember to put its front hooves in a puddle so it bucks back at you and really gives you a good fucking)).
recap:
life is real nice right now.
good luck gnome.
jonny-go fuck a sheep, but do it right.
-the pineapple
el jefe on June 25th, 2008 5:34 pm
Actually, Gnome’s spelling is fine, the grammar on the other-hand…
THAT feeling is why I left the business two years ago. 18 years in and out. All but 6 in. Gnome summarizes the soul sucking nature of it perfectly. There’s BS wherever you work, and a shop needs to be a profitable business. That’s life. So many owners lose touch with what got them into it in the first place. Those of us that worked the front lines find that the great co-workers, the cheap bike parts, and the few truly wonderful and grateful customers which we have, all the beer and dimebags which they threw our way, doesn’t make up for the unappreciative assholes who want to question everything you recommend, question why your prices aren’t as good as on-line, question why it costs $60 for a tune-up which takes your mechanic 2 hours to do because they didn’t maintain their bike for 4 years, and then complain to the owner in an attempt to get someone fired. Just because they work in tech and are sure that they know more than everyone at the shop put together. Yes, I’m still bitter. I know that assholes are extreme, and most customers are o.k., but all it takes is a couple of them to make you forget about the good ones. When you don’t get the support from the higher-ups (the numbers at the end of the day matter above all else) it gets more than a little draining. I left and haven’t had any regrets. I got tired of hating bikes.
Moving on… Big shops can be good, small shops can be bad. Big shops have more purchasing power, and _generally_ have more of the cool stuff in stock, and are more willing to order product in a timely manner. I’d like to think that when I was at my last shop (a big one) we were mostly good, and that they still are. Small shops, if they have good people who haven’t been run through the meat grinder for too long, often have quicker service and more personal attention.
Why are a bunch of shops carrying Specialized? Specialized is making good bikes. Period. No company is perfect, but overall they are good riding, durable machines. They’ve been pushing the envelope on manufacturing in a way that most other companies can’t do. I’ve got one hanging on the wall and I like it just like I like my Spot or my Serotta. The Spot and the Serotta will always have a more personal feel, but if a product is good, then there is no reason to hate on them.
gnome on June 25th, 2008 5:56 pm
mitch, I respect that you’re making huge quantities of french fries with your Superdooty. “A” for effort.
El Jefe, I’m pretty much on board with your sentiments. I’ll work on the grammar. The fact remains, as you put it, that all biz has bullshit involved. That’s all the more reason to bounce when it gets to be too much. I’ve always thought bicycles and shops are a thing of basic common sense as far as operation goes. When I finally left, it was because of the trees, not the forest… so to speak. There’s always more to it of course.
el jefe on June 25th, 2008 7:26 pm
I’m not the grammar cops… I can’t be held to that standard. There’s too much alcohol in my bloodstream.
It’s really difficult to know when to jump. I probably stayed in the business a few years longer than I should have. Getting hit and titanium fortified as a result didn’t help. My employers were very supportive for a while. But I hit resistance towards moving into any other positions in the company. I got tired of being angry about being at work, and about riding to work. I’m still reluctant to ride on the road. I’d like to stay alive. The years of riding in urban areas caught up with me both physically and mentally. At this point the move on has been great. Sometimes we have to go through some shit for the lesson to stick.
Skippy on June 25th, 2008 8:04 pm
Making your avocation your vocation is a tough deal. Many try but few succeed. Count me among the try-ers. I think most everyone who goes for it can do it for some finite period then they have to get out or change things up somehow. Some are just better at stretching that time than the rest of us. Everything changes: us, the industries we choose to work in, the customers, the products, everything. We hit a period of time when it all clicks and we want keep riding that loop. Sorry, won’t happen. Let it go, move on and look for the next chance for stars and planets to align. Don’t abandon the things that give you joy, just don’t be upset when they stop always happening on your terms. You can always go back to them and when you do, you’ll have a different outlook. Ride the same trail everyday and you get tired of it. Jonny and Gnome, good luck in whatever’s next.
phixstick on June 25th, 2008 8:10 pm
After a relatively brief stint in the biz, I got out,back to
something that paid the bills and that I had a lot of experience
doing. I’d love to make a living in some area of the bike world,
but retail sucks, in my experience.How’s that saying go…”Stress
is not being able to choke the living shit out of someone who
desperately deserves it”?
Sandy on June 26th, 2008 2:07 am
Next time try a little harder at marrying an elephant! If only Jimmy would stop eating all the peanut butter!
Grandma, I tried.
Gitty on July 1st, 2008 7:50 am
Dave, your synopsis of bike shop life is right on, but the hippies are not wrong. There is utopia, you need to create it for yourself.