by 
Oh my. First I was reading about our dear unfortunate brother across the pond who took “bike love” a step to far.
And then some.
A “cycle-sexualist” caught half-naked in a compromising position with his bicycle has been put on probation for three years.
Robert Stewart’s unlikely perversion has been analysed in chat rooms around the world after he was caught by two cleaners who walked in on him in a hostel room.
Robert Stewart arrives at courtThe 51-year-old was naked from the waist down and when the women opened the door he paused only to ask, “What is it, hen?”, before continuing to “move his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex”.
Source: telegraph.co.uk
More on the poor bastard here: news.bbc.co.uk
Kinda leads into this trainwreck:
(Vid below the fold)
At least it provided me with a title for this piece.
by 
“Sheriff Colin Miller also placed Stewart on the Sex Offenders Register for three years.”
The guy is an “official” sex offender for humping a bike ??
Que ??
I hope this doesn’t effect his subscription to Master Cyclist. I think they should throw a pic of him on the front while wearing a viagra t-shirt.
This could spawn a huge following of bike humpers!
With all do respect though, every bike should be properly broken in…and I can’t think of a more satisfying method!
…hey, hey, i was just pumping my tires, yer honor…
oh, I sent the link a little late.
i bet it was a brooks saddle that set him off
What no one has mentioned was what kind of bike it was. If it was just a Roadmaster, then it might be a crime, or at least an episode of bad taste. If I get caught in bed with my bike (and I lock my doors), I hope it is with a nice Jamis Aurora or a Gilmour.
So would spooging on a Big Wheel be a misdemeanor? And for that matter with little knowledge of the British judicial system, if this was a jury trial, how the hell would they find a jury of his peers?
Would this man consider “Breaking Away” a fetish movie?