. . . here comes Masters Cycling magazine, your guide to the world of sand-bagging, treachery and egomania. Every issue will have a mirror on the cover and contain a number of cutting-edge features vital to the gray panthers of the peloton, including:
The Mercedes-Benz GL550: Six Bikes That Look Fast On the Roof!
‘Watch Your Line, Pencil Dick!’ And Other Witty Phrases for Clearing Your Path of Junior Racers
Entry Fees: Outrageous Expense Or Critical Tax Deduction?
The Bike Mechanic: Cheaper to Rent or Own?
Explaining That DNF: Top 10 Reasons You Shoulda Won
This thing is gonna earn like a no-bid reconstruction contract in the Green Zone. It’s a zero-overhead plan if ever I saw one. All a guy needs is a strip-mall storefront containing an accountant to tally the cash from hot-car, designer-booze and wiener-drug ads, an IT guy to field all the incoming training logs from CTS pootbutts and a custodian to keep those cover mirrors polished.
Comments
13 Responses to “Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the peloton . . .”
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Bush43 on November 14th, 2007 8:43 am
Oh fuck!
You cracked me up!
sommerfliesby on November 14th, 2007 8:48 am
Freakin hilarious.
Joe on November 14th, 2007 9:24 am
We used to call the guy grandpa on that front cover.. LOL
that was like 10years ago.. he he..
Joe
Team Ol’ fuck. :)
dan on November 14th, 2007 9:28 am
that shit is funny. a mirror on the cover - do you pay for material like that?
sorelegs on November 14th, 2007 10:24 am
How ’bout:
Product Review: TOP 10 Antiinflamatories
bikesgonewild on November 14th, 2007 11:01 am
…shades of bikesnob nyc’s friday column (11/9/07) but for real…now that IS surreal….
…i laughed til my catheter fell out, but nice to see that somebody cares about us old cycling fucks…(read as: figured out how to make more money from)…
…well, time for my meds, thanks for the chuckle…
M in SC on November 14th, 2007 12:28 pm
Seeing as we’re the only ones who can afford the trick stuff…
Hell, it’d probably work…
bg_cyclist on November 14th, 2007 12:40 pm
I just found what my grandfather’s getting for Christmas! A gift that keeps on giving…
dr liam gonzo on November 14th, 2007 12:50 pm
You need the IT maintained for it, I am the man.
Payment in cash only please.
Goat on November 14th, 2007 2:40 pm
As a charter member of the Old Guys Who Get Fat In Winter Cycling Team, I resemble that remark.
Funny. Fucking hilarious!!! And sad…somehow. I’m going for doughnuts. That always cheers me up. These pants stretch, right?
sorelegs on November 14th, 2007 2:49 pm
Ehh! Type louder I cant hear you sonny.
dan on November 14th, 2007 3:38 pm
old people are funny…
Ed on November 15th, 2007 6:46 am
more articles:
“Mail Order EPO - the Viagra of Masters”
“CPR 101 - when thinking you’re still 20 crosses the line”
“How to Not say Hello to Newbies”
…and so on.
cheers DC