Tester: Pepe Nera
Date: January 13, 2002
When Jon told me about the Hello Kitty vibrator, I had mixed emotions. Although I’ve always had a sort of sick attachment to my vibrator, I’ve also always had a soft spot for anything Hello Kitty. But somehow, I felt both elation and disgust. I mean, how often does a girl have the opportunity to get off on something less frightening than a Ron Jeremy sized rubber cock with more veins than a KFC drumstick, or anything that rots within 2 weeks of being carefully selected from the produce section at Albertson’s.
On the other hand, there is something inherently wrong with using Hello Kitty’s face as a fuck stick. I mean, Christ, I used to use Hello Kitty to erase math problems. I never thought I’d be using it as a post coital tool after yet another night of less than satisfying sex. Anyway, my curiosity won and John from Pleasurebox.ca very generously sent me one complimentary Hello Kitty vibrator.
Hello arrived and I tentatively put my other vibrator, Jan (as in Ulrich), away in the drawer so he wouldn’t get jealous. I opened the Hello Kitty package. To my surprise, she wasn’t phallic in any way. In fact, I suspect Hello is not a vibrator at all, but a massager of some sort. Anyway, she was about 4 inches long and definitely designed if anything as a clitoral stimulator. I wouldn’t even think of inserting it into any orifice (except maybe a mouth). At the top (the vibrating part) is a cute Hello Kitty holding a teddy bear - Sick … Fucking twisted!
She has a surprisingly fast and strong vibration, though not too loud which is important because I would hate to wake Jon from his post orgasm bliss to find that all those “Oh yeah baby . . . You’re a fucking stud” screams were bullshit. I received a small jolt when Kitty first made contact, and after that… well; all I can say about that is “hellllloooooo kitty”.
I am officially addicted. Girls, there is something out there that does the job of many men without the hassle. And guys, I highly suggest that you get one of these for your girlfriend, wife, or both, it’s cute, un- intimidating and its Hello Kitty. I’m sure Jan is getting pretty suspicious because he hasn’t been out of my underwear drawer in weeks. But you know, Jan, you can’t win them all; especially when there is something out there that is stronger and faster. MMMMmmmmmmmm.
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