Drunkcyclist.com

New one from Das Gnome over at onespeeder.com.

It’s already been about a week since Bussmann left the shop. Then Randy put in his notice a few weeks ago. I believe his last day is in a week, but nobody has seen him in the last two and all of his shit is moved out.

With that, the shop has turned a page and it brings light the simple fact that although this is a place of meager financial shelter and easy work, at the drop of a cion for any reason, nobody has any regrets to leave it. It’s not a home, but just a point within the transition to & fro. And it’s all family like until it matters.

With all the enthusiasm he’s showing lately for geared riding over singlespeeding, he should be calling that site more-that-one-speed.com.

Or, whatever. At least he’s riding something. Me? I can’t even say I’m riding the pine. My sofa is leather, kid.

This came out today (5/15/08) in cyclingnews.com

Reminiscent of what Rassmussen is accused of:

Balco head reveals methods, offers anti-doping advice
After masterminding a designer steroids ring which allowed athletes to cheat without detection, former BALCO head Victor Conte is now offering up detailed accounts of the doping regime used by top track and field athletes and giving anti-doping advice to the US Anti-doping Agency (USADA), the World Anti-doping Agency (WADA) as well as the authorities in the Great Britain (UK Sport).

Conte served a four-month prison sentence for conspiracy to distribute steroids and money laundering, while the scandal also put former Olympic gold medallist Marion Jones in prison for perjury. Track cyclist Tammy Thomas was convicted of perjury in April in relation to the case.

At the request of British sprinter Dwain Chambers, Conte spelled out the entire doping regime to UK Sport in order “to improve the effectiveness of their anti-doping programs.”

Published by the BBC News, the letter outlines a performance enhancing regime that included seven banned drugs including the designer steroid known as “the clear”, THG, as well as testosterone/epitestosterone cream, EPO, HGH, insulin (Humalog), modafinil and liothryonine (a synthetic form of the T3 thyroid hormone).

Most of the doping occurred during the off-season, where Conte advised the anti-doping authorities to focus their testing. “Many drug-tested athletes use what I call the “duck and dodge” technique,” Conte wrote. “This is basically how it works: First, the athlete repeatedly calls their own cell phone until the message capacity is full. This way the athlete can claim to the testers that they didn’t get a message when they finally decide to make themselves available.

“Secondly, they provide incorrect information on their whereabouts form. They say they are going to one place and then go to another. Thereafter, they start using testosterone, growth hormone and other drugs for a short cycle of two to three weeks.

“After the athlete discontinues using the drugs for a few days and they know that they will test clean, they become available and resume training at their regular facility.”

Conte criticized USADA for focusing the bulk of its testing in-season. “It’s my opinion that more than fifty percent of the drug tests performed each year should be during the off season or the fourth quarter. This is when the track athletes are duckin’ and divin’ and using anabolic steroids and other drugs.”

USADA CEO Travis Tygart responded, “Since our creation in late 2000 and before we disciplined 16 people associated with the BALCO doping conspiracy, USADA had incorporated and continues to incorporate all appropriate intelligence into our testing program. Our efforts to protect the rights of clean athletes has always has been focused on intelligent target testing and not simply on the number of tests.”

In a statement, WADA acknowledged that Conte has met with USADA and said, “We would expect that he would have shared any current and credible evidence of doping that he might have with them.

The agency supported USADA, saying it has “full confidence in USADA, one of the foremost anti-doping agencies in the world which, interestingly, assisted U.S. law enforcement authorities in uncovering illegal activities of Mr. Conte and a number of his athletes.”

“WADA has also heard from Mr. Conte and will continue to give his comments, along with other intelligence received, balanced consideration and to pass it on, as and if appropriate, to the relevant testing authorities.

From: Stevil
Subject: Fourth Annual Mustache Party
Date: Saturday, May 24
Time: Doors at 2:00 p.m.
         Contest at 3:00 p.m.
Place: Girarde Residence
          1822 36th Avenue @ Noriega
          The Sunset, USA
Bring: Mustache
          Beer
          Liquor
          Stuff to BBQ
Do Not Bring: Bottle Rockets
                    Expensive Pants

ENTRANCE FEE FOR COMPETITORS: A MUSTACHE THEMED PIECE OF “ART”

[”Art” means any sort of creative expression of your respect of The Mustache. See, e.g., below.]

A sled

My wife
turned toward me
the other morning
asked me
do you want to get our thing and see if it sleds?

What thing?
I asked.

She looked at me
and said
simply
a sled.

I rode to work today. It was fun.

I’ve not been riding much. In fact, I’ve not been riding at all. Part of it’s been the kids. Part of it’s been because I’m not always that comfortable on the bike.

And I don’t see either issue changing much in the foreseeable future. I’ll work on it, of course, because what else can I do, and progress will be made. I don’t entertain the notion of riding something like Leadville or a solo 24 race again. At least not in the foreseeable future.

Those are the cards I’ve been dealt. And I’m strangely comfortable with it.

Link dump:

[again?] marinij.com
[super fun good times] officeofstrategicinfluence.com
[last 20k of paris-roubaix] dailymotion.com
[in the trenches] lunacyclesnc.com
[plinkovac and you, perfect together] lcb.state.pa.us
[walking bike] maxknight.co.uk
[heroes of hooch] moderndrunkardmagazine.com

I’m so sick of this while Mac is superior to Windows line of shit.

The only thing Apple got up on Microsoft is they do it with two buttons instead of three.

My problem was like this poor bastard:

i have had 4 of these ipods, all because they keep breaking. i keep trading broken ones in again. i don’t know why. all the broken ipods exhibit the same “symptoms.” they stop playing songs and videos, but you can still maneuver around the screens, using the buttons and wheel. none of the games are playable, and, if the ipod is reset (a difficult task with this kind), it dies. black screen, no responses, no revival. is it me, or a faulty product?

This is the solution I found:

1. Hold the MENU button and then the middle button down (in that order) together for about 10 seconds..
2. This should re-boot your ipod..
3. Wait for your ipod to start..
4. Problem fixed. It plays..

It worked. And that is horseshit.

There are days when things come together. And some days when things get so strange, you know it will come together, because it can’t not. Know what I mean?

This weekend was one of those times. The Mormon Sensation and I rolled up to Cortez CO to do the 12 Hours of Mesa Verde, as has been so well reported by Gnome. We went with the intention to win…but the road to DFL is paved with such intentions. Fortunately, at least one road across the res is paved with asphalt:

We got to Cortez, set camp, and had the strangest dinner ever: Mama Rees, with the “Best Meatballs west of New York,” was a home that had been retrofitted into a restaurant. Being vegetarian, i can’t say much about the meatballs, but the pasta was cafeteria-style. However, the characters were sustaining: The drunk off-duty waitress told us to go kick some ass, and that she’d be sending us “some good vibes.” This from the place where the men’s room has a blown drag-racing engine, and the walls are papered with photos of the biggest eaters of the area.

Then we got dog food. Cause i thought Sara grabbed it, and she thought i grabbed it…and the dog was mad.

the wind blew all night, so the sleep was marginal, and the day dawned cold and raining. Fortunately, it didn’t stay that way. As Gnome as said, this was a great event - with primo trail. 99% of it was singletrack, but here’s what the road section looked like:

And the trails:

Well, it’s a good day when you walk away with the hardware, and hear the competition shouting about insurmountable leads at 3:30. For some, it’s a job: for me, it was a pleasure. It’d been awhile since the top step.

Oh dear. This’ll be the first time some of you see me in the Red Rock Racing team kit. And yes, that’s my teammate, the Sensation, in the old kit. For those of you not from Flag, you might not know that a small town can have lots of teams, and therefore lots of drama. Red Rock’s supporting mountain bike racing right now, and i could use some no-strings support. It shouldn’t be the big deal some people make it. Maybe the 12MV can be a way to get over this.

The waiver for the 12MV had two questions: Why do you ride? and Why did you come?
In response to the former i wrote: because my bike doesn’t burn gas. I came because it was small, southwestern, and not USCF sanctioned, which means it’s cheap and simple. the award was a sweet locally-made Osprey backpack. A shout to all the volunteers and organizers. It was a top-notch event. And i learned about it on DC, like any of y’all. Thanks to Sara for the pics. and feeds. and patience. Thanks to the Sensation for the speed. and laughs. We’re already looking forward to next year.

peace.

It’s snowing in Flagstaff. No kidding.

Middle of May and it looked like this outside my house at 7:30 am.

This is Bike to Work Week here in Flagstaff. They are calling for 5 to 8 inches today. Good thing I’m not trying to ride a bike or anything.

Looks like I am a fair weather cyclist.

Today’s link dump:
[going out in style] startribune.com
[wtf?] youtube.com
[give ‘em from stick] youtube.com
[wtf?] velonews.com
[bicycle for six] indianapolis.craigslist.org

The Second Annual 12 Hours of Mesa Verde was my first. Held just outside of Cortez, Colorado, the race is hosted at a place called Phils World which is comprised of 99% single track in a juniper forest of fast, loamy sand basins and slate plated canyonita rim riding. Never mind the 3 mind blowing ravine half-pipes with 10 & 20 foot roller gaps that you could sail each and every lap. If anything, I recommend just riding here. The event was put on an the neighboring Fair Grounds and other than a brief stint on a dirt road to and fro, the race was primo single track round trip of 16 - 17 miles.

Arriving at midnight the night prior, I toed the line at 7am with about 150 of my close friends to head out around the “BEEF” building for 300 yards to the bike by foot. Angsty as always during any start, I rocked past as many peeps as I could and found bits of prime trafficless soil here and there where I could enjoy my own flow. The course was fast. It wanted me to go fast.

The repercussions of that having started with “The First Bonk” which included a 30 minute nap after the 4th lap. On lap three Travis Brown past me so I knew what it was like. I’d pass about a dozen of the same people about three times each during those first laps. And then I’d lose it all to delays in the pits… adjusting, filling, sleeping &/or inhaling whatever. I was a stoked idiot mainly because the trail was so bitchen and also because I’ve been wanting to go fast nevermind rules. I think I heard Jim Gibson laugh at, not with, me. And After my nap, I headed out to try for another 3 to make it 7 even, and of course, that was a Big Dream too because I only made two of them as “The Second Bonk” hit me while I was flailing through the last of the rim trails where the rocks were laughing. I felt like that fat girl in the giant bowl of Jello so stupid it hurt to watch.

I crept into the pits with 20 minutes left on the clock and I called it with plenty of silent excuses screaming. I ended my effort, ultimately happy to ride 6 laps for about a 100 miles and I still got 11th out of 32 which is still on the first page. And I learned a lot again about pacing and reality. The same lesson for the last 18 years.

12 Hour races are a hard thing because you can go fast the whole time, but it’s on an edge and the basic Pavlovian necesities will consume you but I vow to return with better approach.

12 Hour results are here as well as Lap times & last years info. Good on ya to Travis Brown for riding a production Frankenbyke to the fast lap. Brian Bennett of Phoenix took 2nd in Solo to Jens Nielsen. He’s consistent as ever and came to the race with no additional support. And good job to Ben & Jared, the FLAGSTAFF FUN MOKEYS who shouted and howled all the way to a 1st in the Duo gig. I can’t wait for next year.

From: Brice
Subject: DC minions
Dude,
I was in Vegas last weekend. Sunday morning, I standing in the Mandalay Bay enjoying a cup of coffee trying to clear previous evenings fog from my head. I was sporting one of my black, almost brown now, DC T-shirts that I wear all the time.

There was a fat hill billy type looking guy walking past me, drink in hand……..big dude, real tree camo hat and all. He looked down at my shirt, gave me a knowing nod and shot me the “devil horns”.

I thought to myself…..WTF? Who would have guessed a dude that looks like that would ride and be a DC minion. I figured him for one of those dudes that would show up on a ride on a rigid, 29er SS or a circa “91″ Trek and just stomps everyone….It’s happened to me too many times to count.

As I continued this “can never tell a book by it’s cover” dialogue with myself I watched the guy as walked trough the casino. About thirty feet past me he gave a knowing look and shot the “devil horns” at a slot machine about ten feet past that he did the same to a small palm tree………..

You were right on one thing; you can never tell a book by it’s cover.

Oh shit. Phil the mother fucking horse. He looks a little bit trimmed up since I’ve seen him last. And I think that was in Vegas.

Oh, the horror.

From: Roly
Subject: Phil The Horse
Phil the Horse is now the UK Single Speed Champion!

Do a Flickr search for SSUK08 and feel ill seeing his choice of bike, jersey and short shorts. He did it Jonny!

Roly

Good on ya, Phil. A few pics below.

The jersey and shorts look hella fine. And by that I mean gay.

How can you not have fun with shit like this happening? Who the fuck comes up with a Hebrew Hot Dog One Handed Hillclimb Time Trial?

This evening at 7:30 it is all going down. Cost of entry is fifty cents to cover your hot dog. Single rider time trial format, must hold hot dog on one hand for entire climb. You may switch hands but may not eat any portion of hot dog until crossing finish line. Time will be stopped when you have completed the hot dog. As with every race of truth, the fastest rider wins.

Keep your eyes on the Hebrew National Prize, Floyd. And you shall overcome.

That and more brought to you by the good folks at FARCA.

When it’s all about maintaining plausible deniability, you put a big ass black bar across her eyes. It’s the least I could do after she baked me a pie like that for my birthday.

America’s most senior general was “hoodwinked” by top Bush administration officials determined to push through aggressive interrogation techniques of terror suspects held at Guantánamo Bay, leading to the US military abandoning its age-old ban on the cruel and inhumane treatment of prisoners…

Happy, happy. Joy, joy.

The way he was duped by senior officials in Washington, who believed the Geneva conventions and other traditional safeguards were out of date, is disclosed in a devastating account of their role, extracts of which appear in today’s Guardian.

In his new book, Torture Team, Philippe Sands QC, professor of law at University College London, reveals that:

· Senior Bush administration figures pushed through previously outlawed measures with the aid of inexperienced military officials at Guantánamo.

· Myers believes he was a victim of “intrigue” by top lawyers at the department of justice, the office of vice-president Dick Cheney, and at Donald Rumsfeld’s defence department.

· The Guantánamo lawyers charged with devising interrogation techniques were inspired by the exploits of Jack Bauer in the American TV series 24.

· Myers wrongly believed interrogation techniques had been taken from the army’s field manual.

The lawyers, all political appointees, who pushed through the interrogation techniques were Alberto Gonzales, David Addington and William Haynes. Also involved were Doug Feith, Rumsfeld’s under-secretary for policy, and Jay Bybee and John Yoo, two assistant attorney generals.

Oh, it just keeps on getting better and better.

Larry Wilkerson, a former army officer and chief of staff to Colin Powell, US secretary of state at the time, told the Guardian: “I do know that Rumsfeld had neutralised the chairman [Myers] in many significant ways.

“The secretary did this by cutting [Myers] out of important communications, meetings, deliberations and plans.

“At the end of the day, however, Dick Myers was not a very powerful chairman in the first place, one reason Rumsfeld recommended him for the job”.

He added: “Haynes, Feith, Yoo, Bybee, Gonzalez and - at the apex - Addington, should never travel outside the US, except perhaps to Saudi Arabia and Israel. They broke the law; they violated their professional ethical code. In future, some government may build the case necessary to prosecute them in a foreign court, or in an international court.”

Read the rest here: guardian.co.uk