Pardon me for interrupting all this drunk cycling with a public-service announcement, but my friend and colleague Charles Pelkey — formerly The Explainer, Live Update Guy, etc., et al., and so on and so forth for VeloNews.com — finds himself in a bit of a tight spot. Charles, as you may or may not know, Read the full article…

We in the press get a lot of criticism, much of it richly deserved. But every now and then one of us gets it right. Read it and weep. A toast to Andrew Meacham for a fine eulogy. And another to Steve Benen at Political Animal for tipping us off.

Gentlemen, remove your hats and lift your glasses to the memory of the guardian of Jack Daniels, Jimmy Bedford, who died Friday at 69. Sipping was one of his most important tasks, to ensure that Old No. 7 remained consistent, according to The New York Times. But he was not allowed to swallow. “People tell Read the full article…

All you Flagstiffs will be pleased to know that my hometown, the concrete clusterplex of Bibleburg, Colorado, sprawls like a fat late-term-abortion baby atop Outside magazine’s list of “America’s Best Cities.” What lesson should we learn from this? Primarily, that if you’re into good weed, you should move not to Bibleburg, but to Santa Fe, Read the full article…

This just in from cyclocross nationals in Kansas City: “Beer sales, they say, have lagged as the temperature has dropped.” And we’re stuck there for another year? Time for Flagstaff to put in a bid. They’ll still be pounding ‘em down there after the sun’s burned out. “Fuckin’ dark, huh, Jonny? Fuckin’ cold, too. Better Read the full article…

Beauty and the beast My newish Subaru has a drinking problem. It swills coolant And then, feverishly, pukes it back up. The ’83 Toyota pickup shakes its greasy cylinder head in disgust at this stationary wagon with its heated seats and power everything and like Old Man River just keeps rolling along.

I can’t wait to see Bike Snob NYC tackle this one — a crew of teens in Queens riding two-wheeled sound systems. Nick Ragbir’s DJ booth-slash-bicycle includes an amplifier, two 15-inch bass woofers and four midrange speakers; it plays music from his iPod and is powered by car batteries. “It’s really big where I come Read the full article…

Read it and weep, bitches — Bibleburg is the third drunkest city in the Benighted Snakes of Amerika, according to Men’s Health magazine. Only Denver and Anchorage, Alaska, pound it down harder and faster than Bibleburgers, who apparently will drink anything from stolen communion wine to Aqua Velva. And Flagstaff? Doesn’t even crack the top Read the full article…

. . . here comes Masters Cycling magazine, your guide to the world of sand-bagging, treachery and egomania. Every issue will have a mirror on the cover and contain a number of cutting-edge features vital to the gray panthers of the peloton, including: The Mercedes-Benz GL550: Six Bikes That Look Fast On the Roof! ‘Watch Read the full article…

. . . comes this item from The Associated Press: Man Killed by Gator While Fleeing Police MICCOSUKEE TRIBE INDIAN RESERVATION, Fla. (AP) — A man who jumped into a lake to flee police was killed by an alligator more than 9 feet long, officials said Tuesday. The man, whose name has not been released, Read the full article…

This just in, from the Fort Worth Star-Telegram via The San Francisco Chronicle: Police Cite Man for Watching Porn in Car Police issued a citation for a man accused of watching pornography on his car DVD player. Cameron J. Walker, 24, of Irving, was issued misdemeanor citations for obscene display or distribution, not having a Read the full article…

On a board, gasping As his tormenter pours, smiles Dreaming of surfing