Up in the spot Home All that tasty old shit Archives Forum Forum Contact Contact DC Gear DC Store

DC Features
about
accident
adult section
andrej on tour
archives
dc gear
dc video store
fan pics
forum
gallery
gallery (old)
interviews
jokes & more jokes
link buttons
myspace page
obscure sexual terms directory
old flash intro
paddy white's not dead yet
prison name generator
product reviews
rants & writings
wallpaper images

AZ Weather
flagstaff
phoenix
tucson

AZ Sites
arizona single speeds (ass)
az cycling
az cyclocross
az trail-build
bicycle inter-community action & salvage
coalition of arizona bicyclists
coconino national forest
dc/voodoo cross team
dcb adventures
dust devil series
epic rides
fair wheel bikes
fetish racing
flagstaff biking organization
flight of the pigs
grand canyon racing
mountain bike association of arizona
missing link
northern arizona trail runners
perimeter bicycling association of america
pyramid coaching
ride clean
summit velo
tempe bicycle action group

Bike News
bicycle retailer
cyclingnews
cycling.tv
dirt rag
eurosport
just riding along
missing saddle
pez cycling
procycling
pro cycling tour
singletrack world
spoke post
topix.net/cycling
velonews

In The Trenches
a.n.t.
anvil bikeworks
bilenky
blue collar
breezer
circle a
clemente
coconino
cove
don walker
eisentraut
endless
fireman
hampsten
high ti
hunter
independent fabrication
jones
jonny cycles
kirk frame works
kish
mint
on-one
paragon machine works
patrick cycles
paul component engineering
rich adams
richard sachs
rivendell
salsa
soulcraft
southwest frameworks
spot
sycip
surly
thursday
urie dog
vanilla
vicious
voodoo
vulture
wolfhound
woody's fenders

Bike Sites
alt bike
cars-r-coffins
cello
church of bike
dopers suck
down the road
evil cycling
fearless gearless
fix me up
fixed gear gallery
free riders
frame forum
gemini training systems
granny gear
hcor
how to avoid the bummer life
hubbard bicycle club
imba
just riding along
league of american bicyclists
mad dog media
mavic
mountain bike rides
mtbr
old skool track
onegear
one on one
pete fagerlin
pink bike
procycling tour
pro mechanics
ride times
r.e.load bags
sheldon brown
sibex sports
singlephile
singlespeed outlaw
sockguy
stolen bicycle registry
sun-ringle
timbuk2
velobella
vorb
verge sport
voler
yes we are on the web

Not Bike Sites
adventure sports radio
atlas
attytood
birthday challenge
boing boing
boobie battle
career cap
drinking liberally
drunkingham
eros zine
fark
fitness lynn
freeway blogger
hoss rogers
kunstler
lonestar boxer rescue
mithras
modern drunkard
onion
paul katcher
peter gorman
pinup toons
slowly downward
the smoking gun
snopes
sticker nation
truth or fiction
unamerican
weebl and bob
wm3

 

doreo hosting

 
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
saint adams   I   lou lou   I   vids

24 Hours of the Old PuebloThe part that really gets me about these pricks over at BushCo is their complete incompetence. We’ve all known this was about Oil from day one. Some denied it, till they were blue in the face, but it was a waste of time.

And the oil is a big deal. Our economy, as well as that of many other countries, runs on a continued supply of cheap oil. Of course, the more rational among us realize that can’t last forever. And the transition out of the cheap oil age will be tough. But it has to start sometime.

What better place than here? What better place than now?

I can understand the desire not to have the country thrust into the end of cheap oil (aka the end of life as we know it). And I say, “understand”, not condone, respect or tolerate. But I do understand the concern. If oil quadrupled in price tomorrow, it would be a fucking trainwreck. This needs to be addressed in a timely and serous manner. Otherwise people do crazy things, like drill the shit out of Alaska or invade other countries thinking, hell, it might work, may as well try.

Back to BushCo incompetence. If they had really wanted to stabilize the world’s oil supply, and they were up front about it, at least we could have had a discussion about it. (And how fucking annoying is that Hillary Clinton “Let the conversation begin” line?)

Instead, we got the bait and switch (standard BushCo operating procedure) which many of us saw straight through. But enough of us did not see anything past the waving flags, Fox News and French bashing. Now look were we are. Like lambs to the slaughter. Do you still hear them screaming, Clarice?

If BushCo wanted to address the oil issue (and I think that’s exactly what they wanted to do) then they really fucked it up. It could not have gone much worse. Our precious supply of oil is in no better shape than it was before this whole thing started.  It makes you wonder just what in the hell they were thinking. Save oil, what in the world could have been their motivation to invade Iraq?

They don’t give a flying fuck about the poor and disenfranchised in this country, why would they care about those same people on the other side of the globe? They have no problem running vicious complains of mistruths and swift boating here, do they care about fair elections in Iraq? They have no qualms about the death penalty, extremely high incarceration rates as compared to the rest of the industrialized word, secrecy to the point of illegality, a score of other clearly unconstitutional practices, extraordinary renditions, torture and wrongful imprisonment, mistreatment of POWs, complete disregard for international laws and treaties: Are we to believe the government of Saddam Hussein was criminal, intolerable and had to be changed when they run this country with nothing short of sneering arrogance?

It'll make you crazy if you let it.

Link dump:

[toto] nyvelocity.com
[cool] instrumentalanalysis.blogspot.com
[richard dawkins] youtube.com
[a-bomb approved] whoisioz.blogspot.com
[a handy way to express contempt] newyorker.com
[more of the same] talkingpointsmemo.com
[home on the range] thefreedomtoast.com
[sense challenge] bbc.co.uk

Mail dump:

  From: Punch & Judy
Subject: What Does This Mean?
Hey Big Jonny,
First, thanks for the link to Mr. Log's video! Have you seen him recently?

Since you are a master of the internet, and quite witty, I need some advice from you! I got an email on Saturday at ~2am (PST) from someone who claims to be "Fuck you Punch!" and has the email zencamel@yahoo.com. The subject line read: "Judy thinks you have a small penis...too bad for her!" And the body was totally blank! Why is a zen camel telling me to fuck off? How does this zen master know so much about my penis? Could it be spam? Is it a coincidence that the email was sent right after bar time?

Let me give you a little context. I did run into someone who stalked me for a little bit in November of 2005 at Club Congress on Friday night. She was a work study student for my old advisor. She emailed to ask me out, then emailed later in the day to say it was a bad idea, and then several times the next week to say that my non-response was awkward for her...like in Swingers, except I didn't tell her not to email me again. Ever! I said hello when Judy was talking to her housemate, but she was visibly uncomfortable. I think that she may be the culprit, because I can count my stalkers on one finger. Can someone in Tucson send an email that is stamped with Pacific Time? In any case, what should I do about this? How Zen is that? Should I email this person back and say that Judy likes the small cock and the one nut that comes with it?

Isn't that a trip?!

I have no idea what that means. 'Cept of course you now have a stalker. Consider yourself lucky. Some of us try for years to get a stalker. Yours is a life of glory.

Regarding yesterday's post, I got two emails. Here is the first one:

  From: Marty
Subject: your post
Hey big J
While there is no easy way out of the dope problem, it can end the same way it started....with pressure.

The nature of the sport is so extreme it engenders cheating -- always has. Note the much written about episode at the TdF in 1921 or so when the two brothers quit in disgust and showed the press all the substances they took to compete....cocaine, ether, laudanum...whatever the fuck they were on.
If there is a groundswell of pressure, both internal and external, to NOT cheat, then we should see less dope...hopefully.

Barney King has said many times - the races are too hard, too long. Make 'em shorter...simple.

Another potentially VERY effective method is to test EVERY rider EVERY time. Expensive and logistically difficult, but NOT prohibitively so. Just has to be done.

As part of the discussion it MUST be said that in the athletes defense the doping controls and the procedures suck ass. The leadership is also damaging --- Dick Pound must go.

(A career in porn would be perfect for him -- no name change required.)

Anyway, I hear you brother -- the situation of the sport and the money and the alternatives make it obvious why they cheat. The slope is even more slippery than you make it out to be. Ergogenic aids and nutritional supplements, be they injections or other, break down an individuals resistance to "taking something"...but as Lovedawg likes to quote, "...with every chemical, you trade a piece of your soul.."

No easy way out, for sure, but certainly a start.
RIDECLEAN, baby...

And up second:

  From: John
Subject: And you're getting dropped this year.
That was brilliant. I'm afraid that the difference between the pro peloton and the factory floor will continue to drive this thing, and keep it one step ahead of the testers as well. Unfortunately, those of us who love the sport and take this shit personally are a small minority. Cycling will only police itself to the extent required to maintain the flow of sponsorship dollars.


 

Tuesday, January 30, 2007
good times   I   erica campbell   I   jamie lynn

24 Hours of the Old PuebloI've been thinking a lot lately about doping.  How it starts, what it means.  All that.

Imagine for a minute that you are a twenty two year old pro rider in Europe back in the early 90's.  You've been racing since you were twelve. And you showed a lot of promise as a junior.  Won a bunch of races.  People knew your name. People were interested in you. 

You've been racing against some of the same people for the last ten years.  Sure, now that you're pro, there are a lot of new faces.  But there are a lot of old ones too.  And a lot of 'em you used to beat.   You were better than them.

But this a new year.  A new era.  You're all pros now.  This is the big time.  Guys you should be able to beat to the finish line, let alone keep up with, are dropping you now.  You've been training as always.  You've had the same coach since you were seventeen.  You had a good winter, didn't get sick, didn't let yourself go over the holiday.

And you're getting dropped this year.

Your father works in a truck factory.  Your older brother works in a butcher shop.  You make more money than both of them combined.  In the village you grew up in, all the young hopefuls rode for the same club.  Your mother and her friends used to sell cakes to raise money to help you and the other young riders get to races.  And the men used to toss a few extra bucks in a hat.  There is a fan club now, made up of these same people.  It's your fan club.  You're the one that made it.

You know why you're getting dropped.  You didn't at first.  But you do now. And now you face a question.

Do you take the drugs and get back to where you were?  In relation to your peers?  You should be beating these guys.  Fuck them.  You're better than them.  And they're dropping you 100k from the finish.   Are you going to continue to not finish races?   For how long?   And what are you going to do after your contract isn't renewed for next season?  Who wants a washed up second year nobody that hasn't won a race and can't handle being a pro?

What are you going to do?  Seriously, what the fuck are you going to do? 

I'll tell you what you're going to do, you're going to take the same injections the rest of the team does and you're going to race your bike.  Just like the rest of them do.  Year after year.

And now we're at 2007 and shit is fucking stupid. You can't compete without doing drugs.  Anyone who won a Grand Tour in the last ten years had one hell of a doctor on the payroll.  We all know it. 

What's going to make it all change?

Update: Discussion thread started here.

Link dump:

[no way, really?] stores.ebay.com/Ginger-Lynns-Goodies
[rules of war] tpmmuckraker.com
[deconstructing the cycle myth] thescotsman.scotsman.com
[clusterfuck nation] jameshowardkunstler.typepad.com
[James Brown 1] youtube.com
[James Brown 2] youtube.com
[James Brown 3] youtube.com


 

Monday, January 29, 2007
nikki lea   I   amanda   I   catalina & kylie wylde

24 Hours of the Old PuebloTwo days in sunshine and I'm all ready planning my next trip to a warmer climate. Nothing wrong with Flagstaff, nothing like that. But if you don't get down the hill and enjoy the desert now, you'll miss out.

It'll be hotter than hell down there in a few months. Get it while the getting is good.  Yesterday I was wearing short and sandals in the afternoon before I drove back up the hill to snow country.

If I was riding bikes at the moment, I'd be taking my mountain bike down that way in a heartbeat.  But, instead, I'll walk around and look at things.

Link dump:

[jonathon page kicks ass] velonews.com
[in the trenches] kirkframeworks.com
[midnight ridazz] kcet.org
[no talking during lunch] azcentral.com
[bob log] youtube.com
[mike jones] denverpost.com

I wanted to link Donnie Davies God Hates Fags music video at the end of last week, but on Friday his site was experiencing difficulties. undoubtedly due to far to many people attempted to view his kick ass video simultaneously. So totally kick ass.  Everyone wants a piece of Donnie.

And yes, it's all a big joke.

Viral marketing campaigns piss me off.

  From: Pun
Subject: Fuck Snake
An open letter from the Big Pun to The Snake…

Dear Snake,
How are you, I am well. I just finished a weekend dog sitting for Big Jon’s dog, she is a cross between my last girlfriend and the great white from “Jaws”. I suppose that you know the basics. She sees ball, she chasses ball, she obsesses over ball and bites everything that resembles or smells like ball. I swear on your first illegitimate child’s grave that the dog focuses on the ball like its short skirt without panties.

She wanted to sleep on my bed last night and I ran an impromptu experiment which proved beyond reasonable doubt that not only is she tense when she is crazy…she even tenses up for the kill when she is asleep. I was scared and, for your information, I knew that she had no teeth. I don’t know how it is that a dog with no teeth scares the shit out of me when she is asleep; but. She does.

Soooo….back to the point of the letter…

Hey chicken fucker, when are you going to start returning calls?

I specifically took the time out of my day to tell you that there was a package of carni-porn here just for you…and you ignored me…well fuck that. You now have 7 statements from one bank, 6 from another, a vehicle registration, a package from “Amazon.con”, more Carni-porn, and a few pieces of junk mail.

Now, I don’t mind collecting you mail, on account of my sensitive side; however, I have no qualms against burning that shit to keep warn. I can deal with a whole shit-ton of things; but, I will not stand for collecting mail and then being socially snubbed,. Rest assured that I have previous experience in this situation. Shit-Howdy, lets be frank, you, on account of you living in a different time zone and all, you are one of the finest room mates a Pun could ask for. Unfortunately, Unless you and I come to an agreement soon about proper compensation or remuneration for these mail collecting services…we may be through. In the end, it is a simple choice to make. Either make a decision about how your mail should be dealt with…or…face the consequence of your car no longer being registered and you not knowing how much money is in your bank account…except for the whole on-line thing…that’s pretty accurate…and pretty handy as far as car registrations go…yeah…I guess you could use that…good luck asshole.

I think that I may have typed my way into sobriety, everything else is futile. Oh well, I guess that’s it. See ya,
-Pun


 

Friday, January 26, 2007
richelle ryan   I   andrea mirage   I   amanda lexx

24 Hours of the Old PuebloOh snap.  Registration is 100% full for the 24 Hours in the Old Pueblo and now closed.  Yep.  Just like that.  Over and done with.

Hey, there is always next year, right?

I was reading Lorelei's post the other day about, among other things, a girl in her twenties losing a teddy bear her grandmother had given her.

It got me thinking about all the things we collect from people like our grandparents other relatives and friends. Not just memories and life lessons, but all those little trinkets (and sometimes big trinkets) we keep around the house to remind us where we came from. 

Mine is quite a collection it seems. Aside from countless photographs of relatives in all shapes and sizes (the pictures as well as the relatives) I've got a painting of flowers my grandmother made hanging in the downstairs bathroom.  And a painting of my grandmother a friend of her made.  And another painting of flowers by the same woman who painted my grandmother in another bathroom.

I know, it can get confusing.  That's two paintings of flowers and one of grandma. 

I've got belt buckles, jackets, hats, tools, dishware, cups, a stained glass lamp, jewelry and wood carvings from more people than I care to list.  I'm an equal opportunity collector. I've got a car that was my grandfathers and a trunk that was my great grandfathers. In short, nearly half of what I own came from friends and family. 

And to me it is all priceless.

This is the view out my window this morning. Yeah, those would be icicles.

The one on the right is at least four feet long.

Yeah, it's winter and I'm doing black flips up in this piece.  That's why I'm going to drive down to Phoenix tomorrow and chill at my sister's place.  I need sunshine and less snow.

Less snow as in no snow.

Link dump:

[totabulous] nyvelocity.com
[the co-president] talkingpointsmemo.com
[drug news] cyclingnews.com
[ssaz is coming] onespeeder.com
[bawm chica bawm bawm] cyclingnews.com/...liquigas_present

Yo, it's coming:

  From: Marty
Subject: SSWC 2007
Evening.
SSWC is confirmed as 2nd September in Aviemore. We'll be updating sswc2007.com with all the usual stuff as soon as we can.

See you on the start line.


 

Thursday, January 25, 2006
erica campbell   I   bela star   I   sofia & jana

24 Hours of the Old PuebloWTF:  Regarding Johan Museeuw's recent confession, Tom Boonen was quoted in cyclingnews, as saying, "I think that he did well to confess... It is the first pass for rehabilitation. But it is not enough to cast a shadow over his entire career, since they were referring to only one year and, practically, his last year."

Yeah right.  He took dope twice in his life and I was born of immaculate conception.

Some things just stretch credibility to the point of absolute absurdity.  And this "confession" is one of them.

And in what amounts to great news for asthamics worldwide, Oscar Pereiro has been cleared of doping allegations.  We can all breath a salbutamol added sigh of relief.

Link dump:

[biker down] cnn.com
[hagel's homerun] tpmmuckraker.com
[smashmouth obama] talkingpointsmemo.com
[my prayers have been answered] pocketshot.net
[he's bugging] thesun.co.uk
[hyperbike] ohgizmo.com
[jim harrison] nytimes.com
[o'gradyness] maddogmedia.com

  From: Drew
Subject: This pisses me off!
Jonny,
Just read this article on drudge report ( wcbs880.com ). How stupid can some of our elected leaders be thinking that a law banning talking on a cell phone while riding a bike is going to decrease the number of cycling accidents. I would wager my entire paycheck to say that banning cell phones while driving a vehicle would decrease the number of cycling related injuries more than outlawing talking on a phone while riding. This is absolutely ludicrous that they are wasting their time proposing legislation like this while ignoring more prevalent causes leading to cycling injuries and deaths; FUCKING IDIOTS IN CARS! Shit, yesterday while riding in Cave Creek with my girlfriends dad a truck clipped him with his mirror. What the fuck! Where is the legislation that is going to provide stricter sentencing to people in cars who hit cyclists?

I've brought my phone with me on rides, especially when my wife was pregnant. She never needed to call, but she felt a lot better knowing she could have. And every time I have answered a call, I've had to pretty much pull over to a) hear the caller b) cut back on the wind noise and c) actually make coherent sentences. Its like Pete Garnich was quoted as saying, "You can't breathe and talk. It's absolutely ridiculous.''

Who comes up with this shit?

  From: Rob in Queens
Subject: Messengers
Here's a story. I was over at the mother-in-law's Saturday, and we were shooting the shit about NY traffic and all the asshole drivers when she told me about a run in she had with a messenger a few years ago. She was walking near the World Trade Center, and fell and broke her arm. The sidewalk in NYC is chaos, tons of people walking. A messenger came up, laid his bike in front of her, to protect her, and went and called EMS. When they came he picked up his bike, and left with out saying a word. Cool shit, no?

Yeah, that is very cool.

  From: Eric
Subject: press release - bike documentary at SBIFF
Hey Jonny - our documentary about bikes as sustainable solutions to transpo problems in rural Ghana is done. It's screening at the Santa Barbara International Film Festival this week. I will be riding with Tom Ritchey in support of Project Rwanda and at the same time promoting Ayamye - our film.
Here's a press kit, have a look, stay loose - Ayamye Press Kit


 

Wednesday, January 24, 2007
sammie rhodes   I   marketa & veronika   I   giselle

24 Hours of the Old PuebloLet me get this straight, Museeuw has fessed up to using drugs only at the end of his career, and not throughout his entire career?

That's his story? That's what he's going with?

Oh, I get it; he got popped back in 2004 and all that shit he got caught up in is about to go to trail. You know, 2004, at the end of this career.

No reason to admit anything prior to what he's already been implicated in. Smart, very smart. 

More info at velonews, procycling and cyclingnews.

Let me just say this: Has anyone actually doubted, even for a minute, that he wasn't doping for years? I mean, really. It's a 100% drug culture over there, full stop. No doubt about it.  Every single person I've talked to, either a rider, mechanic, whatever, who had worked in Europe tells me the same thing:  They all do drugs.

And don't give me this "cheating" shit.  They do drugs just to survive.  It's not about shortcuts, they all put in the work, the dedication and the sacrifice.  It's not about training harder.  You'll never get as good clean as you'll get doped.  It's the icing in the cake. That last 2 or 3% you'll never obtain otherwise.

Ah, forget it.  I'm sick of it.

Link dump:

[cheney is full of shit] tpmmuckraker.com
[what?] sun-sentinel.com
[fun] yesbutnobutyes.com
[blogness] caliradocyclist.blogspot.com
[word] faafollies.com
[the black god] osonegrocoffee.com
[if I listen, am I gay?] ovegodsway.org/GayBands

Regarding that last link, now tempting is it to email 'ol Donnie and tell him about all the gay bands you know of? Jesus titty fucking Christ, I could name 10 without even really trying. In case you missed it, Donnie's email is way down at the bottom of the page. He cares. He really, really cares.

And how did DMX make the "gay" list? (Not that there is anything wrong with that...) The guy is 100% man. Maybe even 110%.

  From: Scorekeeper Scott
Subject: Phoenix Alleycat
Sup brother? So it seems as though someone's organizing an alleycat in Phoenix next month. Seriously? Do we have messengers in Phoenix? I'm not downtown everyday, but in my 27 years living in this fucking heat island I don't think I've ever seen a bike courier. Plenty of lycra-ladden roadies and slightly grubbier mountain bikers, but I've never seen any tattooed, greasy-haired, fixy-ridin' messengers toolin around downtown. Maybe I'm wrong.

Doubt I'll be joining in the racing, but I'll show up on my bike with a PBR in hand supporting those who do.
info sheet

What, you mean you haven't heard of Phoenix Arizona's thriving bike messenger community? More like "messenger chic". And I don't mean that in a good way.

  From: Dave Evil
Subject: On the contrary, you bastard
Over by half, you say?

Well, on behalf of the city that spit me forth into this shitty world, I take offense at your wild ass prediction. Figures an Eagles fan would spit such idiocy.

I'll take my Bears even up. No spread, no points, no bullshit, just a smashmouth bet. On the line? One free Evil pair of socks to go up against whatever you may tender as your wager. A warm beer, perhaps, some Arizona snow, mayhap some blood. You choose.

Evil, being mostly based in the MIdwest, is pulling for the BEars, though we respect Manning.

Put up or shut up. Urlacher will knock the piss out of Addai and Manning both. Even if Tanky has to stay home because he got wrapped up in a gun cache, a murder, and a pound or two of pot. Them's my boys! As long as Rex takes his Prozac, we'll win that game. If he forgets his meds, you got yerself a fine pair of socks coming.

Ok, cockholster, I'll bet you one pair of socks, mine (now available in small/medium as well as large/extra-large) against yours. Straight win, no points.

Manning is going to flat out embarrass the entire city of Chicago.

  From: Ralph
Subject: Rider down and...
Jonny,
Hope the rehab is doing okay, you'll get there.

Do ya think the drunk jurist would have caused a mistrial if she had some good ol' sour mash instead of vodka?????

Here is a link to an article about yet an other drunk driving cycling victim. The original story didn't make it to the paper because she wasn't a fatality........ I'm not for capital punishment but some times I'd like to see a drunk driver involved in a collision suffer an accidental discharge from a police weapon and be left for the vultures on the road side.....

mercurynews.com
you might have to register....

How crazy is it when we have huge hearings, investigations and whatnot about 3 dead from e-coli in spinach but drunks kill 20K per year and we just wring our hands.....

And check this quote from MaryAnn Levenson:

``I figure if I don't get back on the bike, then the son-of-a-gun who hit me wins,'' she told me. ``I'm going to ride for everyone who didn't make it. You know, fear can be healthy. But it can't take over.''

Yo, word that.

  From: Hahn
Subject: Charlie's out there
Hey Johnny-
Up here in Seattle we have been getting slaughtered by first rain, then a lot of snow. Personally Charlie can eat a bag of Dick's (ddir.com/history) for all I care. Riding on ice may be great for handling skills, but fitness? The smart racers are up in the mountains enjoying the snow, realizing that we are going to be racing all fucking year long. I can't believe the first road race is on February 24th for fuck sakes. Come September when the weather is good here there is no racing...
alkirubiconracing.com

Our state mtb series starts this coming Saturday, the 27th. I'm not going within 100 miles of it.

  From: John
Subject: Who Isn't Ass-deep in Snow?
I took my shitty cross-country skis out Sunday in beautiful Nebraska. I was kind of reminded of something you wrote some time ago about slogging around on cheap snow-shoes. My skis were rental skis in a former life, they are supposed to be waxless.

The snow conditions must have been just wrong. After breaking a trail, as there are no official trails here, the snow was freezing to the bottom of my skis. Skis that don't ski so much as drag just suck. 'Kick and glide' becomes 'stomp and shuffle'. I took them off about a half mile from my car and walked back.


 

Tuesday, January 23, 2007
chloe dior   I   puma swede   I   girl on girl

24 Hours of the Old PuebloAt least it hasn't snowed today. Yet.  We'll see what the night brings aside from Bush's State of the Union address.

The snow job will start as soon as he's done talking over at Fox.  Then then good old Tony Snow-Job will spread it ever further tomorrow morning.

Can you imagine having a job like that?  Expected to spin the most inane drivel day after day.  It would be and endless endeavor; doomed to forever push a big rock up the hill only to fail time and time again.  And then, like Sisyphus, stuck helplessly watching the rock roll back down to where you started.

What was it Limbaugh called it, "carrying water"?

Bush reminded me tonight about the first time I did Leadville.  I was muttering to myself on the start line, this isn't the race I wanted.  Snake turned to me and said, this is the one you got.

I hate that damn Snake sometimes.

Best part of the evening?  Hands down, Jim Webb of Virginia handling the Democratic response.  Give that man the game ball.  He stole the damn show.

Link dump:

[oh my] iondesign.net/drinkometer
[whoops] cnn.com/...vodka.juror
[let the confusion begin] talkingpointsmemo.com
[bike works] uriedog.com
[kunstler] jameshowardkunstler.typepad.com/clusterfuck_nation

Yep. I do press releases. Who knew?

  From: Mint Cycles
Subject: Press Release For Mint Cycles
Press Release!
It's finally here! Fully fabricated in the USA! Mixed with a proven design from Ventana, and a custom blended tubeset based on every riders needs! A lightweight STEEL full suspension 29er!! With 4 inches of plush trail-soaking travel to keep you in control of that performance edge longer! This particular frame weighs LESS than the high zoot aluminum frames from other manufacturers with its blend of the newest ultra alloy True Temper Super Strength Steel, more commonly known as S3. This bike is perfectly suited to be the next addition to your 29er stable, or your best platform for jumping into the 29er world. Adventure racers and 29er lovers take notice! This ride will be the best platform available for long haul hours in the saddle or ripping your favorite trail! Hand crafted here in Arizona by the loving hands of Mint Cycles!

Please inquire about a custom blended tube set that fits your needs and riding style. Multiple shock, and travel options available.
mintcycles.com


Monday, January 22, 2007
kathy lee   I   victoria red   I   bijou

24 Hours of the Old Pueblo Yeah, can you believe I was complaining about the snow last week? You seen what's been happening around this state?

I'm up in the mountains were is supposed to snow. It's not like I'm down in Tucson trying to find fitness and get in the miles and getting snowed in.  I'm not even riding, I'm sitting on the sofa watching football.

Charlie's out there getting fit, I'm in here getting soft.  Every day Charlie gets faster. And I'm in here getting slower.

Actually, I was laying on the floor watching football and doing manly things like leg lifts. 'Cause I'm manly.  Leg lifts are manly, right?

Anyway, take a look at the haps down in Tucson and Phoenix over the weekend. In a word: Snow.

  From: LvsHyke
Subject: Snow in Phoenix
Yes it snowed in Phoenix................1/21/07 on the Warpaint Trail South Mountain

You gotta be kidding me.  Snow at South Mountain?

  From: Penis Looker
Subject: snow!
This is in our front yard about 10 minutes ago!!! So cool!



Unreal. Think of the poor cactus.  How will they keep warm?

Yo, anyone else think they just saw the game of the year yesterday?  How can the Super Bowl stand up to that Patriots - Colts slugfest?

I'm afraid it won't.  Super Bowl XVI is going to be all Indy.  I say the Bears will lose by 15 points and not even cover the spread. Which, incedentally, is at seven at the moment. 

It'll be over by halftime.


Saturday, January 20, 2007
sophie moone   I   sammie rhodes   I   puma swede

24 Hours of the Old PuebloWe caught snow like nobodies business up in this spot.  My guess is six new inches of hateful white evil out in my yard. Just sitting there fucking mocking me.

I can already hear it: Jonny, if you hate the snow so much, why do you live in Flagstaff?

For the mountain biking, dear friend. For the mountain biking.  And after that, the reasons to tolerate this place drop off rather sharply. Like off a cliff sharply. 

Whatever snow they had up at the 'bowl got blown off and that was that.  Read is all at the snowbowl blog.

Link dump:

[cool] keepvid.com
[the right direction] raceclean.org
[word] youtube.com
[wtf 1] 10e.org
[wft 2] jet-man
[wtf 3] break.com/...human_tug_of_war
[good old plink] internetwines.com
[player president] richardsachs.com/whatsnew.html

Tonight's commentary:

  From: A Bomb
Subject: one tough cookie
blizzardd.blogspot.com
I met Liz this past September in State College, PA over a weekend of bike riding with friends/cohorts. at the time she had been having trouble breathing on her regular runs during the week. she was still running 30 miles a week or so, but she was having trouble with it, and had started with her doctor to see what was up with her lungs. we were in State College prepping for the cyclocross season, and she had just bought a cyclocross bike and was planning to do some racing with us over the next several months. Saturday morning we went for a run and she was immediately dropped. she just couldn't catch her breath, and this continued all weekend. she was super fit, and it was a little frustrating to not be able to do what she could. the doctor had thought it might be asthma, but the inhaler wasn't working.

several weeks later we find out she has lung cancer. she writes at the link above and is truly an inspiration. I don't know what else to say. just thought I'd share.

Sometimes sharing is enough.

Check out the rest of her site blizzardd.blogspot.com.


Friday, January 19, 2007
nikki   I   it's christmas somewhere   I   giselle

24 Hours of the Old Pueblo Yo, happy Friday everyone.  First up: Attorney General Abu-Al Gonzales makes a rather nice jackbooted thug. So glad Bush called him up from the minors. We need more men like him.  A lot more.

Check out this little back and forth between Senator Dianne Feinstein and Mr. Gonzales from yesterday's oversight hearing:

"Do you deny that your office has asked U.S. Attorneys to resign in the past year?" Feinstein asked.

"I don't deny that," Gonzales said. "But that happens in every administration, during different periods for different reasons. . . Some people should view that as a sign of good management."

Good management.  Read it all here.

Thank god it's Friday.  I don't know how much more of this I can take.

A week from tomorrow, on Saturday January 27th, the 2007 Arizona State Championship Series begins. Are you ready?

I'm sure as hell not.  You guys have fun without me.  I'll just stay right here in this comfy chair...  It's too bad I'm all beat up, they got a marathon distance this year. And that shit is right up my alley.

Link dump:

[friday's foaming rant] velonews.com
[now that's something] electioncentral.tpmcafe.com
[john mccain d.o.a.] talkingpointsmemo.com
[blogness] glassyeyes.blogspot.com
[yo, what?] philebrity.com
[daniela cicarelli] peterrost.blogspot.com
[oh christ] news.bbc.co.uk
[refocusing the impeachment movement] writ.news.findlaw.com
[my new favorite team] cyclingnews.com
[bye bye bob ney] news.yahoo.com

And today's email:

  From: Scott
Subject: Danelle NOT Floyd
Glad to read you’re on the way back. Accidents suck! I have to say I’m bothered by Floyd’s defense fund as well. Why not just take the fucking money and use it for anti-doping education? Floyd should say “yep, I fucked up, and I’m dedicating my life to make sure nobody else does it.”

Anyway… I thought if anyone had money they were looking to donate this - checkpointzero.com - would be a better cause. Danelle is an adventure racer that got seriously hurt in a fall.

Here’s the quick version: Danelle was trail running with her dog in Moab, she slipped on some ice and tumbled 60’ off several cliffs breaking a good number of bones that only god and doctors know where they are. She suffered through two cold Moab nights with only her dog to keep her warm. She lost about 1/3 of her blood to internal bleeding. On the third day her dog led rescuers to her. She’s now recovering in Colorado. (the details of the story are truly incredible – sports.espn.go.com)

Danelle has tapped out insurance and any donations would be appreciated. Cash, of course, is good – but there will also be a silent auction to raise money, so if you know anyone who is in marketing and needs to give away stuff for their company – Check out the link above.

You make a very good point.


Thursday, January 18, 2007
susana spears   I   laren   I   meriah nelson

24 Hours of the Old PuebloOh for fucks sake, Pereiro just got popped. Had a medical exemption did he? He's an asthmatic and I'm the Pope. Can last years race be any more screwed up? What's next, giant meteors fall out of sky and destroy all of France?

I had my eyes examined today. As much as folks like to suggest that I should get my head examined, I went with the eyes instead.  Go figure. It was time for some new glasses.

It's not as lame as a visit to the dentist, but the optometrist is right up there.  Pretty much boring as hell.  "Read the bottom line for me. Good.  Which looks better; one?  Or two?  One, or two?  Ok.  One? Or Two?"

Jesus.  It just keeps going. And when it finally comes down to "buy the glasses time" they try to work ya like they're selling snow tires.  "We've got 50% off the first frames, 75% off the second, ploy carbonate lenses, scratch resistant and lighter, tinting for free (a $20 dollar value) on the second pair because you're buying two pair today, let me tell you about our frame replacement program and our lens replacement program... Blah de-blah blah blah."

You're looking a couple hunskie no matter what you do.  Those guys kill me. 

I'm not saying I'm the sharpest tool in the shed, but I've worked in sales for, well, ever.  I've head it all before. Most if it, I've already said before.  So "wowing" me ain't exactly easy.  And you should see the glasses I've worn of the past couple or years: I'll walk out of there with nothing 'cause I just don't give a fuck.

Link dump:

[coolness] demoncats.com
[mother fuck charles manson] crimelibrary.com
[more 9/11 info] blog.myspace.com
[36 is the new 29] store.coker.com
[pillow fight league] news.yahoo.com
[so you like old brakes...] blackbirdsf.org/brake_obscura

  From: Dom
Subject: Tell them to stay away.. at least until monday
Jonny,
Just wanted to tell all of your phoenix readers that the Snowbowl is defiantly NOT opening on Saturday and to make absolutely sure to stay out of Flagstaff until the weekend is over. We can't have those wieners from Phoenix driving up here in their minivans, with all sorts of snowplay equipment strapped to the roof, plugging up 180 and Snowbowl road... not to mention overcrowding the lift lines which are defiantly NOT open.
Thanks Phoenicians, and remember. NOT OPEN,
Dom

Well kid, its as bad as Dom claims. Looks like we're going to get more of that evil white stuff that falls out of the sky, what'd ya call it, snow? And once we do, they're going to open Snowbowl on Saturday.

Which for me means only one thing: Snowshoeing with Big Pun.


Wednesday, January 17, 2007
shay laren   I   lindsey   I   street ranger

24 Hours of the Old Pueblo Hey look.  Its the hump day.  And another reason to hate George Bush.  All rolled up into one.

He can now remove from office (read: fire) any US Attorney that cross's the Righteous Path of the GOP. Really. Prosecute Duke Cunningham?   Good luck finding a new job somewhere else because you're fired.  Or at least we'll force you out. It may be a "resignation", but make no mistake about this: These people are being forced out of their jobs.

And what kind of people is the White House appointing to these recently opened positions? What kind of people do you think they're appointing? Undeniably partisan hacks, that's who.  They type of guy who had a poster declaring "On my command - unleash hell on Al" on his office wall. 

And yes, Al as in Al Gore.  Who wants to pick on Al Gore?  He's like everybody's retarded second cousin. You don't see much of him, but when you do your nice to him because he's trying really hard.

Another stupid provision to the Patriot Act that's really patriotic.  Yeah, right, patriotic like my ass.  Like you expected anything different from BushCo?  These people won't stop till they get their stinking hands in every-damn-thing.

Link dump:

[best thing outta cleveland] raysmtb.com
[drive much?] king5.com/...portlandhomevid.wmv
[stimson apologizes] tpmmuckraker.com
[help wanted] drunkcyclist.com/forum...
[rod dreher flips the script] npr.org
[game] frozenflamestudios.com
[snow job] electioncentral.tpmcafe.com

And email on Floyd Landis and his, well, current legal issues.

  From: Mike
Subject: Floyd Floyd Floyd
Hey Hey
Is it me or does anyone else find it asinine that Floyd is putting so much energy into raising funds to line his lawyers pockets? Wouldn't it be nice to see him say fuck it and take the money raised and use it to help another cause more worthy than that of his already tainted image? I would certainly have more respect for him if he took the high road and took his lumps and moved on!! Whether he cheated or not, the rules allow 4:1 and he was 11:1 cut and dry, black and white, game over man!!

Why would I donate to a defense fund for this guy? So he can return to the race scene, make loads of cash, date rock stars and sue anyone who says anything remotely inflammatory about him??? Sounds familiar doesn't it? Pro athletes are so far out of touch with the real world it is laughable!! Give me money so I can make more of a mess for the cycling world and more money for me, and maybe just maybe I will let you have a peek at the spoils of racing upon my return to the racing world, all I need is a big defense team to fool the judge into thinking the Frenchman who tested my pee forgot to wash his hands after eating a baguette for lunch.

It's a fact, Pro cyclists cheat.....not all I am sure, but some do I will guarantee!! Rules are rules and if you don't like the rules, don't play!! What will this do to cycling...............the way I see it is cheaters may get passed just because the lab and organizers don't need the hassle of the multi year court battles sure to follow, and then lookout, sack patch powered robots will reign supreme in the tour.

Floyd is sending a shitty message to the youth in my opinion. Cheat but don't get caught and if you do, get yourself a big defense team and you will be fine. It worked for OJ why cant it work for you??

That's my rant,
Mike

When keeping it real goes wrong.

  From: Demon Cats
Subject: Road Rage! My bad!! LOL!!!
I commute into D.C. most days of the week. I try to commute out of D.C. at least two or three times a week. I've been doing it for almost 9 years. Never really had a problem with people in cars, with the exception of a hilarious incident in RVA after an alleycat a year or two back.

People buzz close by sometimes, but not too bad. Usually, if I hear a car honk behind me, it's the car in the middle lane honking at the car that is overtaking me, giving me my room and moving into their lane.

If you commute in on Connecticut Ave., as you cross over the Taft Bridge, it is immediately followed by an S-bend that rises and then drops down all the way to Florida Ave. It's a tight bend and you have to keep your line because the two lanes that go into the bend become three.

Yesterday, as I was going into that bend, I heard the acceleration of a motor, and as I look behind me, I see a yuppie in Volvo about to run me into the curb. If I hadn't grabbed a handful of brake levers, he would have taken me out.

As I shout at the fucker, he switches lanes and tries the get past the light on California St. He gets stuck about four cars from the light.

Now, I don't like confrontations between cars and bikes, because the bike usually loses if the car is an ass-hole who sees nothing wrong in running you over if he really wants to.

So as I ride south on the north lane and pass him, I spit the biggest lung-cookie I could gurgle up at his face behind his window.

SPLAT!!!

Right in the middle. I see his face recoil thinking he is about to get one in the face, were it not for the window.

Serves you right punk ass yuppie scum.

I blow the light and hook a left on Leroy St. to get over to 16th St. As I look behind me, who happens to be coming up behind me at a high rate of speed? Mr. Yuppie-in-a-Volvo and he looks pissed! HA!

I cross halfway across T St. before hooking a SHARP left onto Florida Ave. He sees the ruse and is able to make the turn.

Now my options are to stop and bring out the U-lock or make the U-turn. I decide on the U-turn, at which points he turns quickly in front of me to block my U-turn.

Damn the handling on those fucking Volvo's!!!

At this point I simply follow the U-turn into a full circle. HA-HA!!

He immediately slams into reverse to try to continue the chase, but immediately finds himself into boxed in by traffic in both directions. HA-HA-HA!!!

As I ride away, I give him the finger and turn down 20th St. against traffic. Content at the thought of some yuppie fuck having to wipe that shit off his window.

The moral of the story to you car-bound people is that if some guy on a bike hurls a lung-cookie at you it is most likely because your driving almost caused serious injury to said person on a bike.

Happy Trails!

Racing for Victory and free beer!!!
Demon Cats
Courier Racing Collective
"We own the street!"

Yo, keep you eyes peeled for Volvo pilots who hold a grudge. 'Cause I don't think you're getting a Christmas card from that asshat next year, you know what I mean?


Tuesday, January 16, 2007
isabella   I   catalina cruz   I   veronika

Tonight I'm drinking Pelinkovac while my family is asleep in the adjoining rooms. I'm alone in here with earphones, a bottle and a single shot glass. The Eagles playoff dreams came to a grinding halt this past weekend in what can only be described as a complete train wreck.  My head is still spinning.

Those fucking bastards. 

If you have not yet enjoyed a little of the Plink, I suggest you try it. It's not for everyone, in fact most people I know do not like it. And that includes real hooch hounds like Big Pun. That kid adores whatever is on special tonight.  Unless it's Pelinkovac.  I happen to like it a great deal, but then again, I'm fucking crazy.

I tried this fine liquor last year over at my man Fitty's place. We were all getting our drink on one night and he decided to unload some back stock on his boys. And that's how the Plink came out. Fitty isn't a huge fan, as an unfinished bottle of anything in his house is a rarity. He poured a few offerings and most reviews were negative.

Mine, on the other hand, was extremely positive. I asked for another. And another. In rapid succession.

I must have made quite an impression. Fitty's Mom gave me my own bottle for Christmas. I've no idea where she got it, but you don't see it for sale around this redneck mountain town. The label says it's from the Mar-Salle Co. of Cleveland, Ohio. I tried web searching them to no avail. Go figure, a company in Cleveland had no web presence. Who woulda thunk it?

Since my own dear mother (a saint, mind you, a saint) is from Cleveland, I showed her the bottle and even offered up a drink. She accepted, but politely said it wasn't something that appealed to her tastes. No matter, more for me.

My storied family history is a bit of a blur really, go figure after eight shots of Plink. I've always kind of admired my friends with a well defined, if not completely obvious, history. Be it black, Jewish, first generation immigrant or what have you, they've got something to identify with. Me? I've got a smattering of English, German, and folks from what once was Yugoslavia to claim as proud ancestors.  Proud only 'cause they never met the likes of me.

In short, a whole lotta nothing specific. But, god bless her, I my mother seemed impressed with the label if not the content. She thought it looked Polish.

That works as much as anything else at this point. So, thank you Mar-Salle for the fine product you either manufacture in, or import to and distribute from, Cleveland, Ohio.

Have I mentioned in this update that I plan on never again setting foot in Ohio for as long as I live? I've got family there, and I just can't imagine what would bring me back to them.

And no offense meant to any of you in Ohio that might read this; you are not part of my life experience.  The annual summer trips to Holiday Lakes and the awkward family reunions you were not there for. In what I know, the best of Cleveland left and never looked back at those who stayed behind.

I should mention that my dear Mother actually reads my moronic drivel from time to time. So I fully expect to relive this drunken post over a long distance telephone call by weeks end. But, what would you rather have, secrets between you and Dear Old Mom?

Speaking for me, right here, right now, the answer is no. I don't want any secrets. That's why I told my parents about this pill party website back when it was in it's fourth year. Now we're at six years of Absolute Stupidity with no sign of stopping. God help us all.

Link dump:

[ghostface killa - mighty healthy] youtube.com
[you punted and went home] kissmesuzy.blogspot.com
[stimson] talkingpointsmemo.com
[fred kagan explained] talkingpointsmemo.com
[adios ullrich?] cyclingnews.com
[more of that damn girl] maximonline.com
[totolicious] nyvelocity.com

Did you ever know about something you wanted to shout from the rooftops, but you were asked not to? Two of my favorite companies just came together in the most beautiful way. I've been waiting for too long to say Kona and Epic Rides are bringing you the 24 Hours in the Old Pueblo for 2007.

And waiting on that shit was like waiting on a baby.

Press Release:

  From: Booher Media Group
Subject: Kona Bicycles Signs on as Title Sponsor of the 24 Hours in Old Pueblo
Kona Bicycles Signs on as Title Sponsor of the 24 Hours in Old Pueblo
Epic Rides and Kona Bicycles announce a three-year sponsorship agreement for the 24 Hours in the Old Pueblo mountain bike event. Kona will be the title sponsor; the event will be the only United States race in the 2007 Kona Global 24 Hour Series (G24).

The 2007 Kona Bicycles 24 Hours in the Old Pueblo will be held Feb. 17 north of Tucson, Ariz.

"The 24 Hours in the Old Pueblo has a solid reputation and the vibe that Kona has been looking for in an around-the-clock event," said Kona Sponsorship Coordinator Mark Peterson. "A portion of the proceeds is donated to a non-profit that promotes economic development for old mining communities (Copper Corridor Economic Development Coalition). This fits right in with our belief that bikes can help make the world a better place."

The 24 Hours in the Old Pueblo, now in its eighth year, has become a winter mountain bike vacation destination for mountain bikers across North America. Part of its popularity is the emphasis on celebrating mountain bicycling.

"We like to think of the event as a huge party that happens to have a mountain bike race going on nearby," said Todd Sadow, president of Epic Rides. "The event has grown to attract more than 3,000 participants and spectators each year and that is a testament of its ability to appeal to a wide range of cyclists - not just the serious racers."

Kona initially heard about the event through rave reviews by Kona sales representative, Kevin Noble, who had previously participated in it.

"When organizer, Todd Sadow, of Epic Rides gave us his pitch, we knew it was the right fit." said Peterson. "Todd is really professional and organized but has enough zaniness mixed in that he's been able to keep the event real."

Peterson added that Sadow "pretty much sealed the deal" when he noted in his sponsorship proposal that Kona would "receive intimate one-on-one time from within the port-o-lets throughout 24-Hour Town."

Sadow said he has been highly selective about choosing companies that would be considered as title sponsors because he wanted to be sure that the sponsors share Epic Rides' philosophy about what makes a good mountain bike event.

Epic Rides - into the night"Kona conveys a similar image through their bikes that we do through our events," he said. "We both believe that it's important not to stray from the roots of mountain bicycling, which is about the joy of riding a bike on dirt. Epic Rides and Kona both believe that bicycling can help make the world a better place."

For more information about the 24 Hours in the Old Pueblo go online to epicrides.com/twofour/24.htm

Word up. I got more to drop, but I gotta wait. 

And so it goes.

In other not so pressing news, I've only recently been made aware of a link issue from way back in September of 2006. No shit. The link is fixed now, and you can check out Hum's stars and I'd like your hair long right now if you'd like to.

I've always thought this band kicked a truckload of ass.  I used to listen to their You'd Prefer an Astronaut album over and over again while ripping tubes on my sofa back in 1995.  I was living in this god awful rental, and it was hot as hell up in that place.  Yeah, another upcoming topic of conversation with my mother.

So maybe you ought to check them out.  Do it for me.  'Cause I'd do it for you.

  From: response
Subject: My Albatross
Today I woke up ready for a bike ride. While I was getting dressed for the ride, I tossed an lose fitting shirt into the corner pile that I make for the salvation army. I noticed that the pile was getting pretty large. I grabbed my giant army bag and crammed about 50 lbs of clothes into it and hopped on my bike with the bag over on shoulder. The bag was heavy and awkward as the strap bit into my neck but not as bad as carrying a another bike or a 5 gallon bottle of water.

I set out on a short but hilly 5 mile journey to the Sal, with my slanty on her little pink bike bringing up the rear. As I cut through the thick of down town I caught a red light and out of courtesy I stopped so as not to lose my slanty. At the red light some fat fucker with a cigarette glued to his hand leaned out the passenger window of his buddies SLT and gave me some sage advise. "If you was to get yerself a real job, you wouldn't have to be riding around on a bike like that and leaching on society and all.... He grins.

My 1st reaction was to throw down the bag and pull the guy out of his truck and give him a sage ass pounding. Suddenly I started laughing. Here I am riding a bike that cost enough to make a healthy down payment for a car, wearing $500.00 in gear, while heading to the Salvation Army to donate several hundred dollars worth of clothes that I can't wear anymore because I rode my bike and got to skinny for them. And this bloated, pale, semi-literate, wheazing stranger was condescending me and having fun at my expense! I looked at my new benevolent benefactor and dispenser of cheap wisdom and asked "you got some spare change maaaannn?". Of course he didn't. The light turned green and my new friend was gone. Perhaps if he did give me some dough, I would have bought a 40 oz to calibrate my windfall.

The guys at the Sal are doing their community service hours. They don't see so many guys riding up on bicycles donating anything. They ran up to me and helped me unload my bag and were interested in everything that I have to say at the expense of the soccer moms who waited very impatiently inside their heated mommy mobiles. Maybe the moms' were afraid that if they stayed there at the Sal long enough, they might actually have to interact with some of the "poor people" that shop there I smile and waved and kept them waiting as I got mt receipt.

I did the right thing today. I exercised, didn't burn any gas, I recycled my clothing and didn't beat the shit out of anyone. The only people that appreciated my efforts were the ex-cons at the Sal. I think that the television programmers are responsible for turning a good portion of the American middle class into a buncha assholes.

Response


Sunday, January 14, 2007
arial x   I   jessica james   I   ashley

I am still recovering from the Eagles loss. Tough night up in my place. It's already past two in the afternoon on Sunday.  I haven't showered.  I've left the house only to get the morning paper at the end of the driveway.  I feel dead inside.  Must be because I haven't started drinking yet.

But, you know what, it it wasn't the Saints yesterday it would have been someone else in a week or two. Better now than later I suppose. More or less.

The Eagles just aren't good enough to win the Super Bowl.  Not with their current lineup. Not this year.  If they made it to the Big Show, one of those AFC collection of gunslingers would have smoked them like Sunday sausage.

The decks about to get shuffled in Philly.  As well it should be.  Damn.

Who's still in it that I give a damn about?  I guess the Bears will put up a good fight against the Saints.  But I don't care about the Bears.  And I don't care about the Saints.

Whatever.  Email coming.

  From: Sabol
Subject: Re: Jinx fears arise with Garcia on Sports Illustrated cover
well that hurt.... beyond hurt. i was really starting to believe......

1)that dahani jones ill-eagle contact call when we had the saints pinned at 2nd and 25 hurt...total katrina call by the refs.

2) the offensive holding that they didn't show the replay on after garcia ran it 25 yards for a first down hurt.... katrina call also.

3) the westbrook spot not giving him first and goal from the 5 was a bad call...katrina also...

4) the fact that we didn't pound it in for a first and goal when we had 2nd and 1 at the 5 was awful....that was so frustrating...you just knew that was the game there..... aaaaaaaahhhh!!

5) the movement by shawn andrews replacement after the 1st down catch at the end ripped my heart out... what are you gonna do...

6) the 4th and 15 punt.... pussy call. there is no way we were gonna get the ball back.... thanks to the NFL and their need to have the saints make the superbowl.... we were the only team to have a short week and had no legs... we already are not the best against the run.... but on weak legs.... we were swiss cheeze. we had no shot at getting the ball back. probably not gonna make it on 4th down and 15.... but at least we would have had a shot.....

7) i still hate andy reed....

*) thomas tourpeyeyyyeee....... what was that. a toss to him??? that was an andy reed call no doubt .... why was he calling the shots again.??? that man couldn't call a play if his next cheezesteak depended on it........... why was he callin the shots again???

for some reason this one really hurt ..... way more than the first few NFC champ games..... this was the surprise miracle team... can't wait till next august!!!! E-A-G-L-E-S- EAGLES!!!!

Getting the ball back and not converting like that when you're down by three... I'm at a loss for words. Go for it on 4th and 10, and have the play nullified because of a penalty? Killed me. Just killed me.

The Eagles may have well as walked off the field after that punt. That was quitting, plain and simple.

Link dump:

[teddybears - punk rocker] zshare.net
[oh damnit, the "fuck the eagles" girl] youtube.com
[yo] youtube.com
[bar guide] cheapdrinks.com.au
[tire picks] mtbtires.com

A few more emails:

  From: Pistol Pete
Subject: Distrito Federal
So,
Here we are in Screwthepoochlandia.  Some way cool folks and a BUNCH of lead paint eatin' sterilization ray candidates.  Went to the pyramids today.  Eerie premonition of things to come.  Nothin' really changes in the end.  Good to get outta the smog.  I'll prolly leave for the coast tomorrow.  Why would anyone live inna giant city.  I'm stumped...

Good food here and I'm sure there is great conversation.  Went to political rally tonight.  I though I was listening to a Spanish translation of one of my personal diatribes.  We all are aware there is a problem I guess.  It seems to be the same ol' shit all over.  Miss the fixie and wish I had some dobe,,,
Pistol out

The coast?  Like with the sun, the sand and all that?  You bastard. This was what it looked like in my backyard yesterday.  Today is no better.

And I know that is totally candy ass compared to the ultra-hard men and women wintering in places like Michigan, North Dakota and Alaska.  Six inches of show and mid twenties is high summer to you people.  I get it. You're tougher than I am.

But you can email me and tell me I'm a candy ass anyway.

  From: response
Subject: I give Good Phone
I amaze myself.

During the course of a phone call to my local UPS store, I managed to scare their employees so bad that they said that they would file a restraining order against me if I stepped foot in their store. I accomplished this without threatening anyone, nor insulting anyone.

I have the power.....

You sir, have a gift. I suggest you continue to share it. 


Saturday, January 13, 2007
kira eggers   I   hana   I   dasha

Today's top of the fold news bomb in the New York Times is the apparent dismay of Charles D. Stimson, the deputy assistant secretary of defense for detainee affairs, that "that lawyers at many of the nation’s top firms were representing prisoners at Guantánamo Bay, Cuba, and that the firms’ corporate clients should consider ending their business ties."

In an interview this past Thursday he said, "I think, quite honestly, when corporate C.E.O.’s see that those firms are representing the very terrorists who hit their bottom line back in 2001, those C.E.O.’s are going to make those law firms choose between representing terrorists or representing reputable firms, and I think that is going to have major play in the next few weeks. And we want to watch that play out."

Because America's top lawyers should not represent such people? That the accused are somehow deadwood or excess baggage who don't deserve the representation of "top firms"? 

Is that it, Charles? Am I understanding you correctly?  These accused men should be left to their own devices?  An Attorney should have to pick whether to represent such men and continue to do business in this country?  That his livelihood is at stake by taking such a client?

Are we now at the point where we actually question a man's right competent legal representation and a fair trail?  Or we question an Attorney's right to represent a defendant in a court of law?

That's where we are now?

Feels good, doesn't it?  Feels like victory.  Feels like Four More Years stuck on repeat.

No matter how appalling and repugnant the nature of the charges against a man he deserves no less than what he is due: a fair trail and competent representation in that trial.  You cannot have one without the other, they are inextricably tied.

Otherwise we're just parading out the defendants in a show trail before we string them up in a complete mockery of justice whilst thugs jeer and videotape the proceeds on their cell phones.

If that's what you really want, just say it.  Be a man and say it.  Don't pretend it's anything else.  Don't insult me.  And don't insult this country.

Link dump:

[chat up landisimo] cyclingnews.com
[huckabee] thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com/huckabees-hopes
[more stimson] talkingpointsmemo.com
[gnome on mbaa] onespeeder.com
[never met him, right?] cyclingnews.com

The Eagles - Saints playoff game starts in about five minutes. So I'm gonna wrap this one up and call it a day. I'll be too drunk to find the keyboard later, let alone update the site.

Well, not really. But it was fun to say anyway.


Friday, January 12, 2007
catalina cruz   I   way usa   I   the fiesta

Oh man is it snowing tonight.  All day too.  Just endless snow. Gnomie came through to borrow a backpack of mine which you can lash your snow board to. I take it he's going on a little hike tomorrow.

Yeah, you and the rest of Flagstaff, buddy.

I've heard we had eight inches of the white stuff.  The weather report is calling for another four to eight inches tomorrow as well. 

Oh, so happy am I.  Let me count the ways.

Good thing I've got football to stare at mindlessly.  Otherwise I'd have to find ways to entertain myself in this crap.  Shovel the driveway?  Yeah, good times.  Risk life and limb driving to the grocery store?  What, with the way people drive in Arizona?  It's insane out there with one inch of show accumulation.  I can't even begin to describe what tomorrow's going to be like.

But I can tell you the drive to the physical therapist this morning was a challenge.  As in it as challenging not to start shooting people.  What is usually less than a fifteen minute drive was a unbelievable 40 minutes of fun.  Cars all over the road for no damn reason. 

You'd think people would figure out that if they skidded sideways when they tried to stop at the intersection, their opening move once the light was green again wouldn't be to nail it and go sideways again.  And I'm not talking about the "fun" kind of sideways.  I'm talking about the hit-the-gas, slide, the hit-the-brakes when it's a goddamn green light kind of sideways.

Yes, it bothered me.  Drive like retard on your own time.  Not mine.

Link dump:

[the broken angel] nytimes.com
[the end for landis?] velonews.com
[tailwind in, active bay out] velonews.com
[paula abdul, you drunk] huffingtonpost.com
[dear lord god in heaven] greatjohn.com

In other fun news, there is some kind of porno convention going down this weekend in Vegas. It's the 24th annual AVN Awards.  Tickets are a whopping $150 per head. A few of the many affiliate programs I'm involved with were throwing around passes, but I'm not interested in attending.  And to think I turned down to VIP passes to something called Pornstarville 2007.  How could that not be fun?

More like intolerable, really.  I can manage going to Vegas about once a year. And that's for Interbyke.  At least then I know I'll be hanging out with all the bike industry lifers, losers and deadbeats. You know, my people.  This porn thing just scares me.  What in the hell am I going to do there?  Talk to schmucks like me who pound out html and maintain porn laden sites in their spare bedrooms as night?

Yeah, right.  More like rub shoulders with a bunch of bozos looking for the nest rung on the ladder.  And as soon as they figure out I'm a step to nowhere, interest in me will fade.

As it should, I suppose, as it should. I'm not healthy enough to ride my bike around the strip all loaded.  I guess I could always go the the Double Down.


Thursday, January 11, 2007
puma swede   I   holly morgan   I   monique

Nothing much to report today. My life is apparently very boring. Go figure. They say we'll have high winds tonight and snow tomorrow. I'm simply overjoyed.  Could not be happier.

The Eagles face off against the Saints Saturday in what promises to be a close one. The Saints are giving 5 1/2 on the line I saw earlier.

They can take those five and a half points and shove them up their asses.

We need some more magic from Billy Penn!

A funny thing happened when I went to the physical therapist the other day.  When I drove in the parking lot, the car next to me was running.  With no body in it, and no one around either.  I looked at it, shrugged and went inside.  I figured someone was letting it warm up or something. 

When I came back out nearly two hours later, it was still running.  And no one was around.

I shrugged and went home.

Link dump:

[sounds like us these days] omnicenter.org/...14fascism
[lance on fire] cnn.com
[in writing?] talkingpointsmemo.com
[could be] ftnhillsvelodrome.org
[new & improved] the andrej story

And a few emails.  First one:

  From: Nick
Subject: NO MORE BUSH (i don't mean the pics)
I have never written before, but I don't not know any other outlet to show my disappointment in today's speech by bush. I think bush has hit an all time low. I would think after taking a month to consult with all his "advisers" he could come up with something original and better than what we are doing.

We are obviously pissing off a hornets nest over there. My first reaction to a hornets nest is to get the fuck out not to run back in! I think most everyone else of common instincts react in the same way. What is bush thinking? No national support, kids getting killed, pissing off the world???

I don't usually worry about bush much, but he should not deserve two more years. He is insuring horrible things for our country! Lets get that fool out of there!

Second one:

  From: Doug
Subject: Annual Gay Test
GENTLEMEN, IT'S TIME FOR YOUR ANNUAL "AM I GAY?" SELF EXAMINATION
1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.

2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay - it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog... "Killer, come here. I said get your ass over here, Killer!" Now think about how you call a cat..."Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on bar-b-que ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything else and you are in training to suck El Dicko and undeniably a fag.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

5. If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like a high hard one in the poop chute. Coffee is to be hard strong, black, and full aroma. A straight man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Café Latte with Skim "and he will never, ever know what artificial sweetener tastes like. If you've had NutraSweet in your mouth, you've had a man there, too.

6. If you know more than six names of colors or four different types of dessert, you might as well be handing out free passes to your ass. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap as well as all the names of all the players in the Major league, NFL, NHL, college ball, PGA and NASCAR. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a "fressier" is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than denim, you are faggadocious.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the punk off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, hold his beer, or play with his honey in the passenger seat !


Wednesday, January 10, 2007
erica campbell   I   lonnie waters   I   sheridan

I'm sure like many of you tonight, I caught President Bush's speech. He laid out his grand plan for a "surge" to secure Iraq and my head started spinning.  It made me want a drink.  And a strong one.

Speaking of the nature of this, the Global War on Terror, tonight, Bush said, "There will be no surrender ceremony on the deck of a battleship." 

I guess maybe that whole mission accomplished thing on the USS Abraham Lincoln was a bit over the top in hindsight, wasn't it?  Maybe we were a bit too optimistic, eh George, of the "post" conflict situation on the ground?  Like it was more likely just the beginning of a ten year shit storm and not the end of anything?

So, back to Bush's plan: It's a troop increase, plain and simple.  And a paltry one at that. It'd kick us back up to the 150 thousand we had last summer. And that wasn't enough troops then. It won't be enough now.

Along those lines:

The reality is that we’ve already tried surges. There was one of 20,000 troops in early 2004, a similar one in the fall of 2005, and one a bit smaller in the summer of 2006...

Proponents of escalation cite the example of Tal Afar, a town in northwestern Iraq. U.S. forces there have met some genuine success since September 2005 with the “clear, build and hold” strategy that Mr. Bush apparently now favors for Baghdad.

But Tal Afar is only about one-thirtieth the size of Baghdad, and it isn’t even Arab: its people are mostly members of the Turkmen minority. Trying to replicate that (limited) success in Baghdad is a fool’s errand.

In Tal Afar, there was one U.S. soldier for every 40 residents. Using the same ratio in Baghdad would require 150,000 troops, sustained for more than a year. That’s impossible.  Nicholas Kristof of the NY Times.

The NY Times already had their editorial response online.  I'm sure all the networks will be abuzz about it all day tomorrow.  I can already imagine what those GOP apologists over at Fox News will be saying.

That's all I'm going to write about it for now.

Link dump:

[influence] en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Flag
[romo] cgi.ebay.com/DALLAS-TONY-ROMO
[as the toto turns] nyvelocity.com
[she is trouble] masuimi max
[garro= male model] frameforum.net
[very cool stuff] woodysfenders.com
[updated] drunkcyclistporn.com

Biker down:

  From: Pam
Subject: RE: Another cycling accident in the Valley
Hey Big Jon,
Rod Larkin asked me to send you an email about the accident this past weekend at the Casa Grand Century. Larry Harrison was a high mileage ABC rider (over 10,000 miles this past year). Nobody is quite sure what caused him to swerve into the oncoming lane of traffic, but he was struck and killed by a white van that drove away before they could be identified, even though it really wasn’t the driver’s fault.

Rod would like to somehow acknowledge Larry and place a marker at the scene of the accident. Rod held his hand for a bit before the medics arrived and the reality of the tragedy hit home. We have contacted many riding groups to find out information about friends and family Larry Harrison as we would like to help. If you could post something about his death on your website we would appreciate it.

I must thank you this time, as I have seen your website many times and I happened to get the milder form of Teletubbies!

Forum post here. Please post or email me any information you would like to share.


Tuesday, January 9, 2007
camel hoe's 2   I   round & brown   I   aurika

Another day.  Another dollar I suppose. Gotta call it something, don't we?  It does separate us from the low beasts. At least some of us. And a small separation at that.

Present company excluded, of course. Oh, of course.

Did an hour and half with the physical therapist today.  I think I impressed her.  She had me do some incredibly awkward kinda squatting thing.  I felt like I was going to fall straight over the first few times I tried it. Kinda like me on the dance floor = not a pretty sight.  Some things are better left alone, me squatting and/or dancing. 

She says, do twenty or thirty of these.  Until you're tired.  Then she walked away and left me to my own.

She came back and said, ok, you're done.  I go, no way, as I finish number 93.  I did one hundred.

She told me I'd be sore tomorrow.  I said, I'm here to hurt.  And hurt I did.

Tonight's link dump:

[@28:35 mother fucking chef!] videosift.com/...Scientology Orientation
[ms nevada goes down] splashnewsonline.blogspot.com
[north american hand made bicycle show] handmadebicycleshow.com
[make'n it happen] peacockgroove.com
[bizarro] bizarro.com

  From: Marty
Subject: Re: hey man
1 more reason that Forbes is aptly titled Hamfist...he SNAPPED his fucking BB spindle today starting up at a light.. pow...fucked. had to get a lift home. we were coming back from a ride --- i won the town limit sprint 30 yards later. after i made sure he was ok, of course..

All hail Ham Fist.

  From: Chris
Subject: Feel the love!
Ever since that fateful day last August when I (and a handful of Flagstaff's finest) scraped your ass up off the pavement and got you into that ambulance the attitude of your site has been a bit on the melancholy side (and rightfully so). While the tittys are always enjoyable, I will sure be glad when you can get your gimpy ass back on a bike for some real riding.

Until then I thought I should be so thoughtful as to share a little passion for the two wheels. Two big wheels in this case. I have found my new favorite bike and it has big wheels and flat handlebars (the first time I have ever crosse the two). My man Dejay hooked me up with some very sweet modern technology in the department of a Niner SS, disc brakes, and other sweetness. My Christmas present to myself. I have yet to ride it on a trail that lacks snow, ice, and mud, but le'me tell the thing is a Cadillac with some kinda' boost. I took it out today on the dirt roads south of town and before I knew it I was somewhat lost not wanting to back track uphill in the fairly deep snow so I just kept going down (down, down) and found myself smack on the backside of Lake Mary. I thought about trying my ice skills crossing the lake but considering it was nearly 50 degrees out, I thought better of it and skirted the edge until I got to the dam where I could cross.

I found the road for a minute to get my bearings and then back into the woods towards home. I know many locals keep saying "we need some REAL snow". I love the snow and all, buttfuck (yep I said it), I like to ride bikes. I'll take cold, mud, ice, whatever, as long as I can ride once a week or so. If your a skier, you may well be in the wrong place. What we need is the moisture and these once a week snows are perfect in my book. Back to the ride, I came home covered in mud and snow (even a little blood) but just as happy as a clam. The bike is so damn sweet I might just take up mtn bike racing again. Lookout Snake, Lance, Floyd I'm headed to Leadville to try out those big wheels.

Speaking of Christmas, (I miss the EggNog already) my wife hooked me up with a satellite radio under the tree. The technology has finally evolved so that I can get a signal out on the bike and it fits in a jersey pocket, Yee Haw. That shit rocks, especially in Flag where all three radio stations suck dick.

That is it for now, Get back out on your bike soon and feel the love. Oh yeah, If DC has a team this year, count me in!

I put a few pics of Chris's bike up in gallery.drunkcyclist.com.  Yeah, your bike could be there too.


Monday, January 8, 2007
gia paloma   I   in the vip   I   krissy

I've only just now started recovering from last night. The ups, the downs, the cheers, the boos. The bad food and the booze.

That shit hurt me.

Just like it does every week. And still I go back. Why is that?  Don't I know any better?

Can't I help myself?

Maybe I shouldn't answer that one quite yet. Give it another week or two, then we'll see what happens.  Yeah, like anything is going to change?  Who am I kidding?

I mean, besides myself.

Link dump:

[that was rock] ledzeppelin.com
[don't call it a comeback...] latimes.com
[good times] workingforchange.com
[you can't square an iraq circle] tpmcafe.com
[landis lashes out] velonews.com

Even got a congratulatory email from my man Big Tex today.  The poor bastard.  I was talking to him on the phone about three different times during that Cowboys game Saturday.  Every time the conversation started out with "Can you believe what just happened?" 

Lead changes, insane plays, dropped snaps, heartbreak... It was unreal. That game had it all.

  From: Big Tex
Subject: Eagles
Good job (cheering) on the eagles.

I'm sure Romo is in bad enough shape and is lucky he doesn't live in Denver.

I think Romo would catch some of that West Texas fury we all know and fear.

And I think he'd probably deserve it.  Just make sure the trail for assault and battery is also in West Texas.  A jury of your peers, know what I mean?

More good news on Spokes.

  From: Tommy
Subject: Spokes
Dude,
This is in response to the previous emails about Spokes; mostly to Marty's. I live in South Phoenix. Grew up in the area. It used to be that when something opened on the South Side, it was half-assed from the get-go. So I was expecting something like a half-assed restaurant/bar; think: your basic whole-in-the-wall bar with some white paint to cover the grease, and graffiti scratchings on the walls and tables. And soon after opening, a couple of beefy gang members hanging outside of the place.

Instead, its the complete opposite. For what it is and its purpose, this place could compete with any restaurant/bar in Phoenix. The entire time I was there, I was completely dumbfounded and excited by my future endeavors in drinking at this place. And at only two miles away from my house, its close enough to ride to on my $35 Schwinn I picked up at the Tucson bike swap meet. And to top things all off, as nice as the place is, they still don't charge an arm and leg for a beer: $3.50 for a Four Peaks beer and knock a dollar of that for happy hour. Spokes has already rocketed to my five favorite bars in Arizona and is in company with Pay 'n Take, Che's, Casey Moore's, and Four Peaks itself.

Just trying to pass the good, no, great news about this place,
Tommy


Sunday, January 7, 2007
movies   I   monica   I   molly

I'm loaded and full of optimism tonight. Or just loaded with optimism.  Or just mostly loaded.  Take your pick.

My heart stopped beating at least twice before the Birds finally took home the win.  Game winning field goal with 3 seconds left?  Get outta here.  It was like the world stopped turning.

That was great.  Just great.  And I think watching that game it may have taken a full year off my life. Maybe even a year and a half.

Bring on the Saints!  In one weeks time he Philadelphia Eagles are going to remind New Orleans what Katrina was like.  When the game is over, every Saint's player and coach will be sitting shell shocked in a FEMA trailer saying "What the fuck just happened?" over and over again. Full stop.

Go Eagles!

Is it too early for Katrina jokes?  Probably.  But it's a Philly thing.  And don't tell me the fine citizens of New Orleans are going to take the high road and not call out our fat cheese steak eating asses.  They will.  And they have.

This is the playoffs.  And nothing is sacred.

Or maybe that's just the booze talking.

Link dump:

[super snake] a1135.g.akamai.net/snake-dontusethemouth.mp3
[check it] nimba-bike.org
[way cool] times-up.org
[big pimpin] frameforum.net/forum2/index.php?showtopic=2705
[blogness] bartcop.com

That's it. I'm out of here.


Saturday, January 6, 2007
bobby   I   denise   I   jana's xmas stockings

One more day to the Eagles vs. Giants wildcard game.  The first round of the playoffs.  The post season.  The reason we watch this shit.

We Philly fans are fucked from the word go.  Between the twin curses of Billy Penn and the cover of Sports Illustrated, I don't know if I should even bother getting out of bed in the morning. 

Either that or just start drinking heavily two hours before kickoff.  Which, incidentally, seems to be working so far. Best to stay the course like my name was George Bush and I didn't know any damn better.

If our Fearless Leader has taught me one thing, it's to talk with a mouthful of marbles and stick to my guns.  That might be two things.

Whatever.

Did you catch the Cowboys - Seahawks game tonight?  I had to phone up Big Tex two or three times dung lead changes and insane plays.  That was what we call a good one.

Now that Dallas is out, I wonder if Big Tex will root for the Giants tomorrow?

Link dump:

[blogness] gayasstrikes.blogspot.com
[yeah bush] theonion.com
[cool] kevinnierman.com
[shop] nobicyclestudio.com
[booze hound style] sideorderofham.com
[good times] philly.com

  From: Chris
Subject: my dad was hit by a car, too
So last week, a guy in a beamer beamed my old man. He was just riding around the neighborhood outside of Wilmington, NC. After a concussion, broken arm, broken foot, and numerous stitches, he figured out who he was in the ER. He was 2 days short of a full year without any cycling injuries, of which he has been plagued with for a few years. Ironically, this was a week after a local radio talk show host encouraged drivers to put cyclists in their place on the sidewalks by opening their car doors. When will it stop?

I'm very sorry to hear about your fathers accident. I hope he recovers well, fully and quickly.

And you just hate to hear that shit on the radio, don't you? They are doing nothing short of condoning and encouraging actions that will lead directly to the injury of cyclists while riding a bicycle on the roadway, which is completely within their legal rights to do.

It'll make you crazy if you let it.

  From: Filmed By Bike
Subject: Call for Entries: Filmed by Bike
:: FilmedByBike.org ::

Filmed by Bike is a festival of bike-themed film shorts.

:: CALL FOR ENTRIES ::
- 8 minutes or under
- Deadline March 1st, 2007
- DVD submissions only

:: SCREENING ::
- April 13-15, 2007
- Clinton Street Theater, Portland Oregon

:: MORE INFO ::
FilmedByBike.org

=== FILMED BY BIKE ===

The Fifth Annual Filmed by Bike, the West Coast's largest festival of bike-themed film shorts, is open for entries. The festival will three days the Clinton Street Theater in Portland, Oregon in April, 2007. There is no fee to enter and the festival features films from around the world. For more information and a submission form, see FilmedByBike.org.

JOIN OUR E-MAIL LIST: FilmedByBike.org/club


Friday, January 5, 2007
chelci fox   I   glasses are hot   I   maliyah madison

Today makes it five months since I got hit by that damn car. Seems like forever, but I guess it really hasn't been that long when you think about it.

The folks I chat up at rehab tell me six months, nine months, a year out, that's when you really see a difference. People thought I was asking for the world at four months, like I was some kind of wet behind the ears newbie with my head up my ass.

Patience may well be a virtue. Its just one of many I don't have.  I want it yesterday.

I can remember seeing my wife for the first time when they me tied up and immobilized in the ER.  Her face was the most calming thing I have ever laid eyes on.  It both grounded and centered me.  Everything before that is a blur. 

And, to be honest, a lot of what happened after that is a blur too.

I can remember what it was like to have someone else put my pants on every day.  I can remember needing help to get on the toilet.  And then to get back off again.

I can remember the first time I put on my socks by myself.  And then tied my shoes.  I can remember the first time I trimmed my toenails.

And they still seem pretty far away.  Damn toenails. Stop mocking me.

Five months.

I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

Link dump:

[blogness] cexycyclist.blogspot.com
[evil empire] abcnews.go.com/Technology/Business...
[good news] registerguard.com/...cyclecongress
[sign of the times] myspace.com/dcjonny
[more good news out of tucson] tucsonweekly.com

Today's reader comments and assorted mail:

  From: Marty
Subject: hey man
hey big Jonny --
I was just checking out the website and I saw the email about spokes...ive been there a couple times since i know gerald and he and francis have put together what looks to be a kick ass place. Let me be clear about that. Kick. Ass.

Immediately upon seeing it I had to apologize to Francis (a man I had never met before that day) in advance because as I told him ..."dude...im sorry...i just know that sometime in the next three years I will be vomiting in your bathroom..."

now with the perspective of a couple weeks i have changed my tune. 3 years is SUCH a long time. why wait?

wish i had a good picture of the cogsets and crankarm that Gerald strategically glued to the bathroom door ...(now wait a minute...what do you MEAN that is a penis and two balls) ...then I could show you the care they have taken with the decor in this place.

Email in from our Southern Correspondent of the moment, none other than Pistol Pete:

  From: Pistol Pete
Subject: Re:06
Well shit,
I sure ain't no Mexican.  It's that time of year again.  Posters all over town for Carnival Queen. Trouble is they all look like a bunch of smirky cunts.  Makes me feel like defiling and degradin'em good.  It must be something to do with the photo layout, cuz even the "Junior Miss Carnival Queen" needs a good beating.  Of course I'm not a pure pervert.  I wouldn't rape a child.  But the look those little miss bitches got on their face makes me want to wait til they're having a good tantrum and leaving a smoking hole in the back of their heads.  I guess I ain't into the mood is all...

Other than that life down this way is goin' great guns.  Been ridin' out to the northern beaches drinkin' the shit outta Pacifico with the old time fishermen out there.  I try to haul out a few "Ballenas" (whales, a quart) to keep up with the hospitality.  Those guys roll huge bombers and drink the fucking worst moonshine I ever drank.  They're gonna kill me someday ,but I guess it's worth it.  Been spendin' a small fortune on oral surgery but shit, maybe someday I'll get laid again.  I'm gettin' a nice pearly smile and sweet breath and all.  Of course I don't think my dentist much respects me anymore.  I asked him if all this shit in my mouth coulda come from eatin' some nasty pussy.  I mighta as well asked him if he felt like smokin' little miss Carnival Queen...  These Latin brothers ain't as cool as they like to think, I think.  I guess I ain't no Mexican.  Shit, anyways, I hope you guys are havin' a good Winter.  If anyone is headin' down let me know.  See ya all later,
Pistol

Another Friday came and went. Just like that. Didn't even stay around long enough for us to get to know him.

Damn Fridays are always like that. Blow through this place like the wind.


Thursday, January 4, 2007
angel dark   I   ruth   I   tanya taylor

I know what I'm doing this coming Sunday: Watching the Eagles play the Giants. 

Don't ask me for anything. I'm booked solid.

I'll either be dancing in the streets afterwards or throwing myself in front of a train.  Could go either way on this one.  Not a lot of middle ground come playoff time.  You either win or you don't.  You either advance or you go home. 

Have I mentioned the Billy Penn Project yet?  Come on Billy! Do that voodoo that you do.  You haven't let me down yet, you fat Quaker fuck.  I put you at 7,000 feet above sea level.  It's time to lift the curse and let us get one with our lives.

Or something to that affect.

Link dump:

[it never goes away] archive.org
[joel yates] recoveryjoel.wordpress.com
[class acts] news.yahoo.com/...us_saddam_execution
[oh god no] philly.com
[the floyd follies continue] cbc.ca/sports/indepth/landis
[read this too] drunkcyclist.com/rant_implicated.htm
[oh canada!] break.com/effect_of_drugs_and_alcohol_on_spider_webs

Email coming at you one time real hard.

  From: Froboy
Subject: Fwd: "Spokes" restaurant open at Central & Dobbins
The entire cycling community needs to support this restaurant

The December 29 issue of the Ahwatukee Foothills News contains a great article about the recently opened Spokes restaurant in South Phoenix. For those who do not receive the AFN, here are a few main items of interest:

· Cycling-themed restaurant, bar & grill just north of Dobbins on Central, near the north entrance to South Mountain Park.

· Kitchen opens as early as 6:30 am (seasonal), with a variety of breakfast options. Open even earlier for coffees, juices and Powerbars to take on rides. The menu for later meals includes burgers, burritos and various pasta dishes and vegetables (no deep fried foods).

· Décor includes cycling memorabilia and murals of popular locales for valley cyclists.

· Owner Francis Duckworth has future plans to sponsor various bike rides and cycling-related events.

What a great idea!!!

Grand opening ribbon-cutting with Chamber of Commerce members and subsequent party is scheduled for January 12.

I've been by the Spokes restaurant. It was a year ago, way before they were open. One of Jimbo's rides ended up there.  The place was still under construction and the bathroom looked like it was out of that movie saw.

Scary as hell.

But I could see even then how this was going to be a fun place.


Wednesday, January 3, 2007
belated   I   merry   I   christmas

Another day, another dollar.  Or, in my case, another day.

We're a couple of days into the new year.  Two thousand and seven reasons to kick ass.

Tonight is one of those nights where I have nothing, nothing at all to say.  I've been staring at a blank page far to long now.

I've had two interesting phone conversations today. One was from my man Snake.  He's thinking about Leadville again.  And so am I.

I'm thinking I don't want to do it. Not so much not do the ride, I could care less about finishing that one again. 

What I don't want to do it train for that mother fucker.  I don't want every bike ride I do from May on to be dominated with thought of "how is this ride going to help me at Leadville."

I just want to ride my bike.  I don't want to spend four months worrying.

The second phone call was from my man Jackass.  He's trying to put together this plan where a bunch of us ride some crazy weeklong hut-to-hut deal up in Colorado. It's apparently 30 to 40 miles per day with a nice cabin awaiting you at the finish.

I mistakenly assume we're carrying all our gear, and I tell him, man the beer alone is going to be my entire bob trailer. He tells me, no, they hut is fully stocked with everything we'll need, including beer.

I say, really, c'mon. They have enough beer for us?  This is going to be eight people.  And we're talking about eight people in the twelve pack per person crowd.

He says, oh yeah.  We could bring some backup.

Now that's what I'm talking about. I'm down with the rides where the biggest thing I have to worry about is how many beers are waiting.  Not rides where I worry about whether or not I should do another couple of intervals, run different tires, or put away the ice cream and try to loose three more pounds.

Link dump:

[read this today] blog.myspace.com/lick_lorelei
[read this tomorrow] ishootporn.com
[read this next week] gramponante.com
[sick of it all] youtube.com
[sick of it all] youtube.com
[good looking out] talkingpointsmemo.com
[whoops] nydailynews.com
[ouch] earthobservatory.nasa.gov

Our boy Corey had landed squarely on his feet it seems:

  From: Corey the Courier
Subject: Houston, the eagle has landed...
Rockefeller Center. Site of New York's giant Christmas tree, NBC, several stores and oodles of pedestrians. It also contained one wary customer in need of a package to go from there to somewhere else. The call came. I was the rider to deliver it.

Hustling as fast as my legs would carry me, I flew through traffic. Upon coming in for a landing, I did my usual cyclo-cross dismount. With several mounts and dismounts every day over many years I do this as gracefully as a ballerina dancing in the Nutcracker.

Today there were a few pedestrians waiting to cross the street near the Rockefeller Center. There were no worries from me. I adjusted my landing co-ordinates accordingly so that would I gently roll to a stop without any contact with the pedestrians. Firmly grasping the bars while maintaining a loose suppleness in my shoulders, I fully extended my right leg behind and over the saddle. My toes, if viewed in profile, would have shown my toes also fully extended rearward as well. All finesse at speed. I was modulating the brakes so my speed would neither throw me from the bike or make me miss my targeted dismount spot. The woman standing closest to me in the street near my final destination went berzerk. She began to run around in circles. In the midst of her chaos, I told her to stay near her friends who just stood in place. She continued to spazz out and yelled "Stop It". I came to a stop early near her calm friends and told her relax. "Life is not all bad, don't panic".

This woman was scrambling in circles with a look of pure fear in her eyes. I've never seen anything like it before in all of my time on the road. I still think my altered dismount on an olympic scale would have rated higher than an 9.6. I also heard the full combo of Jesus and Christ together from several other jaywalking pedestrians today.

I'm adjusting to the new locale just fine...

Corey the Courier
Philly Phorever
oops, er, The man from the Big Scrapple!

PS Happy New Years Gimp!


Tuesday, January 2, 2007
kayam   I   jiffy lids   I   erica campbell

A strange thing happened today.  My wife and I are cleaning up the kitchen.  I look out the window to the back yard, not looking at anything in particular.  As least, I can't remember looking at anything in particular. 

I see something way back, almost in the corner.  It looks fuzzy and, well, not right.  I say something like, what the hell is that?

My wife goes, I don't know, but I think that's an antler.

We step outside, curious and in need of a closer look.  There is a deer head in our yard.  No shit.  A deer head.   A very dead deer head.  Ears, antlers, tongue handing out, fur; a head.  But no eyes.  Just two empty holes where the eyes used to be.

We go back inside, not saying much of anything. We're both a bit stunned.  Not upset really, we weren't so much mad.  More like what the fuck? 

I don't know if our crazy neighbor we never talk to threw it over the fence or if one of our crazy friends we never talk to did.

Could've been either.

Who do we call?  Husky Midget. We owed him a call anyway as he left a message about bringing by his new Lab puppy. My wife dials him up, and she's talking to him about deer season and how he's been going out with his archery tag.  And then she just asks him: Did you throw a head in our yard?

He says no. But he asks about it.  Does it have a rack? Yeah, it's a got a rack.  She's cradling the phone against her shoulder and asks me now many points?

I counted six or seven I say.  And I can hear Husky from across the room.  He wants it.  He'll be by tonight, at 6:30 or 7:00, to get it.

I don't know what's weirder about the whole thing; having the types of friends who might throw a deer head in your yard, or having friends that will come get a deer head out of your hard.

Life is stranger than fiction sometimes, ain't it?

Husky come by, I show him the head, and he's all fired up.  He says, "I didn't think it would be this fresh" as his puts it in the bed of his pickup.  I ask him if he wants a beer.

We're hanging out later in the evening and we're all playing 80's Trivia.  Yeah, the Husky stories aren't over yet.  At some point the conversations turns to the "actress" Tori Spelling and Husky goes wild. He's like "I'd bang her in every hole.  I'd try to put it in her nostril."

Funny part is, he ain't joking.  Deer heads and Tori Spelling.  My life is a fucking comic book.

And, I just gotta say this, can you believe there are three teams in the NFC East that made the playoffs?

The Eagles, Giants and Cowboys are made it to the post season.  Un-fucking-real.

I'm sure Big Tex is happy as a pig in shit.  I'm sure it almost makes up for losing to Detroit, of all people, at home, in the season's last game and the NFC East title on the line.

Yep. I'm sure it makes up for it. 

Link dump:

[broker back mountain] youtube.com
[tucson weekly updates] tucsonweekly.com
[bike shop] chilebikes.com
[shrub smarter than a rock] csbsju.edu/Bush-IQ-Myth
[stuff] cobr.co.uk/e-cobr_information
[good times] digbysblog.blogspot.com
[new & improved] drunkingham.com
[use your lights] azcentral.com


 
Paying the Bills

Kona Bikes

Coconino Bikes

Showers Pass Saved My Ass

drunkcyclist video store

Adult Friend Finder

Pay-n Take


Heavies
aclu
air america radio
american prospect
andrew sullivan
antiwar
bbc
beast
becker-
posner-blog

blows against the empire
bull moose
chomsky.info
cnn
crooks and liars
daily kos
democracy now
democratic underground
economist
eye of the storm
fairness and accuracy in reporting
fighting bob
get your war on
green party
guerrillanews
huffington post
ilana mercer
jim hightower
juan cole
life after the oil crash
matthew yglesias
maureen dowd
media matters
michael moore
move on
news vine
new york times
national public radio
old american century
paul krugman
rude pundit
slate
smirking chimp
talking points memo
think progress
tpm muckraker
truth dig
truth out
whiskey bar
whitehouse
wolfblog
wonkette

Blog Roll
alaska bike blog
antibike
arctic glass
attytood
austin king
bacon strip
barb haley
becky broeder
bikeblog
bikescag
biken breakfast
blasphemous bicycler
broken spoke
cola bike
cows-suck
dara marks-marino
defeatists
douche blog cycling
epic rider
escortblogs
fables of the reconstruction
fat marc
flick lives
gewilli
handlebar sandwich
jethro bodine
joel yates
kerry litka
mooseknuckler alliance
le societe des demoncats
lorelei lee
old and slow
one speeder
paul katcher
phil zajicek
pro bike support
racer jared
ride trash
tree farm
richard sachs cross reference
river rant
rottenmac
soggy frog
steevo
steve garro
stolen underground
the doof sucks
todd wells
two wheeled locust
upside out
voodoo blog
wolfblog

Coffee Achievers
caffeinated cyclists
53 x 11 coffee
doma coffee
veloce coffee

Games
boob puzzle
bush shoot out
chuck norris
clay kitten shooting
copter
cub shoot
line rider
line rider official
neverland
old school
paper toss
penguin game
scooter death
shooter II
star poker
watch out behind you hunter
wagenschenke

Heroes
us military casualties

Philly Phorever
ashburn alley
billy penn project
desert eagles nest
eagles. aolsportsblog
philadelphia eagles
philly.com

The Sixers.
The Flyers.
The Eagles.
The Phillies.

Last 20 Visitors










Doreo Hosting :: Affordable Reliable Solutions

  DrunkCyclist.Com 2007