"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."
Benjamin Franklin

Think about that one for a while.

This patroit stuff is a bunch of bullshit. Straight up.

Now, you just have to buy everything with cash and never, ever sign your name. Getting a book from the library? No way.

Use someone else’s internet account, someone else’s email. Never buy anything, ever. Photocopy, download it somewhere, just get it for free. Save money and keep your name out of the federal databases.

That’s the game they want to play, fine.

I’ll be heading up to Phoenix to stay with my sister over the Thanksgiving holiday. Don’t expect any updates on the old drunkcyclist for a couple of days.

I’ll see some of you on the Flight of the Pigs. Until then, adios muchachos.

Tuesday, November 26, 2002

gauge   I   shelby   I   jade hsu

From dailyrotten.com. On November 26, 1976, "Sex Pistols single Anarchy in the UK released. The song later appeared on Never Mind the Bollocks. Sadly, it has yet to be equaled."

Ain’t it the truth, baby. Punk fucking rock. One of the greatest albums of all times as far as I'm concerned. I must have bought that when I was in seventh grade.

I still listen to it.

So, ah, anyone else think there is going to be a head coach position open in Detroit?

Enough football.

Good news for gnomes and gnome lovers everywhere.

Long live the Gnome Liberation Front.

From: handlebars Subject: it's 23'F in indiana, can i move in with you? a man received a parrot for his birthday. this parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and even worse vocabulary. every other word was fuck, and he was very insulting to guests. the man tried hard to change the birds attitude and constantly said polite words, played soft music and anything else he thought might help. nothing seemed to work. the bird just got ruder, and nastier. finally in a moment of desperation, the man threw the angry parrot in the freezer. for a few moments the bird was squeaking, cussing and kicking at the door, and then suddenly, all was quiet. the man, frightened he had actually hurt the bird, ran to the freezer and opened it. the parrot quietly climbed out onto his arm and said, "sir, i am sorry if my actions and language have offended you, please be assured it will never happen again, i ask for your forgiveness". the man was amazed at the birds change in attitude and was about to ask what changed him when the parrot continued, "may i ask what the chicken did?" from your downhill/freeride section!

And, great God almighty, the Bush twins turned 21. Now those two fuckups can go out and get in some real trouble, not this pussy underage drinking crap. I can’t wait to see which one gets popped for cocaine possession first.

Would you be scared?

From: Cap’n Subject:Re: I'm sorry, let's make up. FOR REAL Call me the night before the ride so we can have a slumber party and watch all the movies with hot hunk George Cloony in them. Then we will be nice and riled up for the parking lot wrestling match at S. MT. I always wrestle better when two {2} things are happening:{one} I am still drunk, 2[two] I have just seen a bunch of movies with George Clooney in them. I am sooooooo gay. Can we bee friends again? I would like that sooooo much. I am not a fairy sort of gay, more of a "topper", like a viking. Late./+=___)*>>

Check this out, groundupdesigns.com.

Monday, November 25, 2002

devon   I   monique   I   sydney moon

And I thought I knew how to train like a hardman. I don’t know shit.

Go check out bikesnotbombs.org. Doing the right things for all the right reasons. And, in the words of the executive director, "With all of the world thinking about the war, we have a nice way to decrease our dependency on oil - teach communities how to ride, repair and recycle bicycles."

Now, that I can agree with.

I don’t usually talk to much football here on drunkcyclist. But, God damn, did anyone else see Koy Detmer play tonight?

He was having a hell of a game. I don’t know all the numbers off the top of my head. And the game is still on, so I can’t check the stats anywhere. Something in the neighborhood of 225 yards, 18 for 26, and a couple of touchdowns.

He came out under pressure and produced. Fucking guy was kicking ass. Now his arm is busted up and the Eagles are playing a third string quarterback. Absolutely unreal.

It’s all green around here motherfuckers. This could be the year.

Yeah, fuck Tampa Bay.

Saturday, November 23, 2002

briana banks   I   angelina   I   jodie moore

Today I had my first and last taste of the Tour de Tucson. In a word: Insane.

I rolled out the usual Saturday morning shootout route, expecting to have the group catch me. Oh, did they ever. The front of that thing was going to beat all hell.

The back of it was hell.

I rode in the bunch for all of about five miles. All it took was one wreck right in front of me and I was out of there. I’ve got no helmet, no health insurance and no good reason to bump shoulders at 32 mile per hour with a bunch of fucking squirrels.

The whole thing was constantly surging like a line of retarded boxcars, wind it up, skid, wind it up, skid. Fucking crazy. The only way to ride that thing is way at the front, and that means pinning it at 35 and staying there.

I was in the front end of it for a while, but fuck that in November. I’ve been back on the bike tooling around for all of three weeks. I’m not going to ride for a hundred miles on the rivet without some real motivation. And motivation I am sorely lacking.

I think the ride chant today was, "slowing".

I tried to add, "swerving!" and "learning!". But, no one thought I was funny.

Too busy unzipping the old windbreaker and dealing with a six inch rainbow of snot to laugh I guess.

The worm turned, as they say, when the 51st touch of wheels led to three guys hitting the deck. Right on front of me. Nothing but screaming and skidding, swerving and yelling. One big jumbled mass, they looked like spiders mating, all legs and arms sticking out every which way. Writhing and ejecting water bottles, pumps and damn near everything else.

Trainwreck in front of me, up against the curb of the median, I can’t go left. Pressure coming from the right. When I say pressure, I mean bodies leaning on me as everyone readjusts to the chaos. My eyes were on the prize, searching out a sliver of daylight. Not gonna happen. If I go any further I’m going down.

The mating spider horror show in front of me seems to actually be accelerating as they slide. I’m behind, first in line to die.

Sparks are flying off pedals and the skid of lycra turns the white streak of some poor bastards ass checks getting squared off nicely. I’m off the back of the saddle, the brake levers pulled all the way down against the bars. I’m trying to keep the rear end down and please God don’t skid.

I’m getting pressure from behind now. Will I be run down from the blind side? That would not be sporting.

We all come to a stop, I’ve clicked off the switch. This bullshit. I help a couple of the boys pick up their waterbottles and get underway. These guys are flogging themselves for 853rd place. I can’t for the life of me figure out why.

This even needs one big hill in the first five miles. I’d take care of all this shit. Just blow it up in the first twenty minutes so everyone can make it to work on Monday in one piece.

The route turned left, and I went straight.

Here’s a site to check out, nwracereport.com.

Friday, November 22, 2002

renata   I   terri   I   april

This is where I went to college. One word: Lumberjack.

Since I’m sick and fucking tired of making thumbnail images out of this shit, I’ll just run it like this. This is priceless. These fuckers are a bunch of kick ass rednecks. And this fucking guy, well this guy fucks sheep.

Oh dear lord, thank you Laura from Holland. Es muy spectacular. And, oh yes, there is more.

Isn’t there always with Laura?

sexy_bike.tripod.com
asian-teen-hardcore-porn.com/...photos-1.html
asian-teen-hardcore-porn.com/...photos-2.html
free-porn-thumbnails.com/...gal1.html
free-porn-thumbnails.com/...gal2.html
free-porn-thumbnails.com/...gal3.html
free-porn-thumbnails.com/...gal4.html
freexxxnudenakedpornosexpictures.com/...gallery1.html
freexxxnudenakedpornosexpictures.com/...gallery2.html

Now remember to say "thank you laura".

From: Tom Subject: PhillyPhilly yes, good to see another Philly fan.........oh how the 1993 Phills broke our heart. ive been in flagstaff for 2 years now and i know i will never be a fan of any non-phillysports team...no way nohow.....but i digress. how about adding reloadbags.com onto your links list thing. best messenger bags around...no joke. two philly messengers started it up a few years back.....and it ain't no j.crew "messenger bag" shit. only problem with flagstaff is all the messengerbagtotingpeople.......who have never delivered shit!!!! what is the deal with the timbuk2 out here????? fuck. great porn.....porn and cycling.......i have some good shots from 2001 and 2002 tdf....and not one wiht a naked broad running along side. dumbass. next year i will recruit some euskatel euskadi female fans....HOT HOT....to flash the riders... perhaps i can get oscar sevilla to blush....he is so innocent!!! Cipo onthe other hand...if that fuck leblanc lets him in....has probably seen it all. I did get a blowjob withsome chick i met on the Champs at the end of the 2001 tour.....should of took a snapshot.......she had on a postal cycling cap!! p.s. Ekimov says he loves to eat pussy......alright Eki!!!! E_A_G_L_E_S EAGLES!!!!!!!!

Hell yeah buddy. We’re all about Koy Detmer up in this house. ‘Cause it’s all we got.

And that reloadbag shit is capital PIMP. Those are some of the nicest messenger bags I’ve ever seen. Maybe I should get a custom DC bag for the old fat man?

I could use it to carry beer. Maybe I'll see some of ya out at the Tour de Tucson tomorrow morning. Unless, of course, I just say fuck it and keep riding straight on Mission.

Could happen.

Thursday, November 21, 2002

monica   I   nikki anderson   I   krystal steal

Now, the Flight of the Pigs is supposed to be fun. In Jimbo’s own words, "The Flight is not a race.".

So why is Casey all up my ass?

From: casey Subject: sinner You boisterous cocky fuck. I'm gonna knock your fat ass to the floor, we're goin' downtown. Your gonna wake up at the foot of a broken saguaro to find the other half hanging out of your whore ass. Whore ass slut whore slut. I tell you, I've been in some asses, but you sir take the cake for "Loosest Fudge Tunnel". It's like drivin' a tractor around in an airplane hanger. Slut fuck deposit box unloading zone. Fuck you. Down to Chinatown. Piss drinkin' devil lovin' cock suckin' Pride stealin' plague of America. Jesus gonna come down from the heavens and scorch your wicked ass. Mercy on your big butt.

Yeah, yeah. Fuck you.

Lets open up the request line.

From: Neil Subject: Intense in porn mag Hey Big Jonny, So here is a request that maybe one of the sick fucks on the site can help out with, A few years back I heard that Intense (back when they where small) gave a porn mag a bike for a shoot, if I remember right it was 2 girls going at in all over the bike. But I have never seen it, maybe you can post something and see if anyone comes up with the pics.

I’ve never seen it, or even heard of it for that matter. But, I’ll see what shows up. Could be just about anything at this point.

What I mean to say is nothing would surprise me.

This is to be the last mention of safetrails.net I’m going to make on this site. At least, that’s the idea right now.

From: Tosh Subject: thanks for your support - I think Thank you for emailing the safetrails.net organization. I think your group has helped in throughly making her aware how ludicrous some of her statements really are. I have to ask though, Porn and MTB? Shit - now Safetrails is going to call us pornographers as well as kamakazie hellions. Heres the rub, please ask your readers not use personal attacks, and inappropriate or inflammatory language when you contact Safetrails.net. There is enough ludicrous content on the safetrails.net site to refute without moving to her level. I guarantee you she will post any negative comment on here site and distribute copies to every city council member to try to fuel her hikers vs. bikers agenda. Keep up the good work - keep sending her and the the representatives she lists on her site factual information - that focuses on how ludicrous, inane, and just plain extremist her comments really are.

I’ll just let you do the asking.

And as far as porn and mountain bikes, yes, that’s what I do.

I read on your site, sbtrails.com that a hiker was struck on your local trails by an unknown biker just last week. I don’t know what’s going on out there, but it sounds like you guys have a lot of work to do.

You should never be going so fast down a trail, around corners and such, that you cannot stop in time not to hit someone. Be aware that people have every right to go out and walk, jog, stroll and stumble around in the woods. Just as we have the right to ride bikes.

I don’t know whom I'm most at odds with, dumbass hikers that don’t want me out on my bike or dumbass downhill clowns that hit and run. Think about it. I’m serious. Neither one of you are doing the bike community any favors.

Share the trails. Yield to uphill traffic. Dismount for horses. And for fucks sake, earn your turns.

Friends don’t let friends shuttle.

Now read this one.

From: Tony Subject: A Historical account of the invention of "The System" from the "Mythical Land of Enchantment" Big Jonny, I'm a huge fan living in New Mexico and this just appeared on our NMcycling bike racer e-mail list from one of the "Old Guard" roadies they call "Waz". The goatheads are thick this year and on everyones mind. Here goes: One of the greater moments in cycle engineering has now been properly documented for historians, and again it involved beer... > >On Wed, 20 Nov 2002, Clay Moseley wrote: > > Isn't there some website that colorfully explains the finer points of > > "The System"? I think the web author even mistakenly credits some guy > > named "Gareth" for inventing it. > > I always heard the guy's name is Marcel. Geez. Every year now? Okay, Marcel and Gareth were living in Carolyn's apts, and we used to go over there and talk about cycling and drink beers and we read Winning magazine one December evening. Alan Peiper had a column every month and wrote about putting a tubular inside a clincher for winter training. Marcel tried it with success. We talked about not wasting a tire and maybe cutting a clincher bead off. Don't remember exactly which one of us tried it first, I think Gareth. But the name comes from John Frey. Earlier the same year, we were at the Witch Gear Off Road Race that November and Frey, in his usual pre-race frenzy, was going around asking everybody what their "system" was. After a quizzical look, he would have to say, I mean your flat prevention "system". Pretty funny, if you know him. So, that January, after the successful experiment, shortly after we read Peiper's article, I had begun the long early season riding and I suffered 7 flats in 5 days, due to goatheads. So I put the extra clincher in (and a thorn-proof tube for added weight) and went on a group ride. I started telling Frey about it and, referring to his ranting and raving at the Witch Gear a couple months earlier, I told him I don't have *a* system, I have "The System". That's it. > > At any rate, trim the bead off of old tires, then cut a short (~1") > > section out (so that the tire no longer forms a circle and can be laid > > I've never cut out a short section - always just fit the beadless tire > into the outer tire. I'm sure there are tire combos where this doesn't > work, but it eliminates pinching the tube at the inner tire seam. Yeah, don't cut it to fit it. Just cram it in there.

Thanks for the clarification. The first I heard of the system is when big gay randy came back from a stay in New Mexico a few years back. I couldn’t fucking believe it, even called it crazy.

Then I built up a set. Very cool. No more flats.

One thing the Arizona boys seem to do is throw all that together on the heaviest, piece of fucking shit wheels they can find. Mine are some shitbag semi-aero Fir rims, 36 non butted spokes, brass nipples and ultegra hubs.

Fucking tanks. It's a one way ticket to the pain cave.

I just put regular tubes in, ‘cause I couldn’t push them around anymore. Everyone around here is riding these racey wheels that weigh half as much as mine. And you know what?

I’ve flatted twice this week.

The whole time I had the system goin, I never flatted once. Not friggin once.

I think I’m going back.

Wednesday, November 20, 2002

jessie   I   sydney moon   I   samantha

Today, I cracked.

I turned the heat on in my apartment.

I know, I know, I’m a punk. I can almost hear Snake calling me a bitch already.

Oh well, I got the dirt on him already. What’s that? Yeah.

Turning on the heat is apparently more complicated than one would originally think. First off, the folks I rent from had to send me a letter about it. Good thing they did too, or I would have just lit the pilot light myself and got busy.

"Due to insurance requirements we ask you NOT to perform and of the conversion work by yourself."

Conversion work? What the fuck are you people talking about?

"…once the conversion had taken place, you will be unable to use your evaporative cooler."

Hmm, this is getting interesting. I had better actually do what they say on this one. I got in a bit of trouble when I first moved in. See, the swamp cooler wasn’t working. Since those things aren’t exactly built on rocket science technology, I didn’t call, no, I just climbing up on the roof and took the damn lid off that mother fucker.

When I did call it was only to ask if I could deduct the cost of the $8.95 water pump from my rent, and if I needed to bring by the receipt.

You’d think from the tone of the woman on the other end of the line I had called to inform her I had just run over her dog. Twice.

Yeah, that was no damn good. I had to assure all parties involved I wouldn’t be performing repairs in the future to the property. So, that leaves lighting the pilot light out then, eh?

Well, I call and Skippy the Wonder Fixer shows up. He has a ladder and a bucket of tools. He needs to turn a knob to "on" and light the pilot.

He asks me for a match.

You see where I’m going with this? I mean, what the fuck, are you people joking? What am I supposed to do if the pilot light goes out? Call Skippy again? He’s nothing if not inspiring and competent. And, he brings a ladder.

Yeah, I don’t think so.

So, when I get back from riding with the Gnome today, he says, "Man, is it fucking hot in here. Is the heater on?

"No, man, it’s just the pilot. And it’s about the hottest pilot light I’ve ever seen."

Gnomes is already turning it down, and he goes, "Fuck, it went out."

I hand him the matches.

And so it goes.

The days first fine link will be this, sniggle.net. You can thank my main man Flakey Caserton for that one. Way to get on ‘em.

Yeah.

""I do not pretend to be able to prove that there is no God. I equally cannot prove that Satan is a fiction. The Christian god may exist; so may the gods of Olympus, or of ancient Egypt, or of Babylon. But no one of these hypotheses is more probable than any other: they lie outside the region of even probable knowledge, and therefore there is no reason to consider any of them." The Quotable Bertrand Russell p. 138"

I found that through sniggle.net. Pretty good shit over that way. I’ll be spending some time there. Everyone remember to thank Casey for the link.

I had to move that fucking gigantic letter I wrote to the fine folks at safetrails.net to a new page. Just ‘cause it’s all huge and shit. So, you can click here if you wanna peep the manuscript.

For all you cats who keep asking me what’s the hot tub site all about, check this link. Girls, beer and hot tubs. It’s a match made in heaven.

And, just when I thought I had closed the book on safetrails.net, this show up.

From: response Subject: safetrails.net Dear Jon, I read your letter to trailsafe and was disappointed. You failed to represent those of us who actually do kill people on the trails. For example, I have two sons 17 and 19 , both of whom have been trained be me personally, in the art of bicycle homicide. Naturally I started them both at a very young age on small animals i.e. gophers, birds, and snakes. But last year my eldest son killed two hikers in one pile up on a nasty downhill run. I was so proud! But just when we thought that things could be any better, he managed to knock off a 7 point buck by actually wielding his bike overhead and smacking the sucker right in the temple with the base of his crank arm! They done me proud Jon, and there’s no way those folks at trailsafe can put a price on that. The best part is that after we looted their pockets (nothing but granola bars and credit cards) and set the entire side of the mountain on fire to hide the evidence, a fucking new strip mall and billion dollar housing community sprouted up from the scorched earth. Then a bunch of people in SUV ’s showed up and opened an OHV park on the remainder of the hill, where I can spin the tires on my new H2! By the way Jon, the $5K price estimate on the bikes was a little low, my sons and I have rigs worth easily $17-20k, complete with hydraulic bushings, terrain sensing active matrix suspension, and digital sphinkterometer. So quit being a pussy and stand up for your readers!!

Tuesday, November 19, 2002

yowza   I   samantha   I   devon

Yee haa. Is it fucking Friday yet?

I mean, for fucks sake. Check out alwaysmad.com.

I heard a joke on espn this morning.

My wife says I bet on football like I make love.
It’s selfish. It’s ugly.
And when it’s over,
there’s a whole lotta cryin.

Email. Oh yeah.

From: tom Subject: 200 miles with my hero / the big aardvark adventure as most of ya know i took some time off to come visit my dad and his lovely wife nancy in their home here in northern virginia. the idea was to ride as much as possible but weather has played a part in that. with 3 days of 10 consumed by rain, we spent time at memorials and museums one day and took a long but beautiful drive to the central coastal area of the state to spend time with my aunt bar and uncle frank in norfolk (pronounced nah-fuhk even though my language instructor for the day couldnt say it right himself) the other 2 days. im tellin ya, easterners know hospitality like no other region. ive felt so at home since the 10th. big thanx to my hosts. im tired, sore and happy. what a great trip its been. i have about 200 pics to share with ya. cant wait to see em full size myself. hard to tell if theyre good on the small lcd screen on my camera. when i get it sorted out ill send the best of the best. weve ridden about 200 miles in all, seen bald eagles, beavers and wild ponies. visited sailboats, scooners and battleships. eaten at wendys and 4 star restraunts. past abandoned barns, goverment compounds, goverment housing, country estates so huge theres no way to put a doller figure on em, and george washingtons 1700,s estate at mt vernon. traveled on bikes, planes, boats, cars, trains and walked miles at a time. viewed on of the first guns ever produced, v-1 and v-2 rockets, the last 16" barrels fitted on a modern era warship and a tomahawk missle. found myself trapped in a car gridlocked on the highway and pedalin all alone on country roads. stood in the shower in the city and medetated on the sands of the atlantic coast. met store clerks and gernerals. petted begle mixes and thoroughbreds. honored dead heros moments before shakin the hand of another, all while standing beside one of the greatest men alive. rain and sun, hot and cold. weve done it all. thats a lie.... theres too much stuff i need to come back and discover next time. its like that out here. yer surrounded by history and beauty all calling you to come see, come learn, come experience. breakfast is on and i need to pack up the steed for the trip home later today. talk to ya all soon!

Hell yeah, buddy. Hell yeah.

My one wife called me out for linking galleries with naked guys in them yesterday. Hey, those were for the ladies.

From: ang Subject: homo what are you? some kind of homo? jesus, leave you alone with a dirty hippie and a garden gnome for a few months and you turn gay on me . . . oh well, on the brighter side, at least your fashion sense will improve. suck dick

Mere words cannot possibly describe the way I feel about that woman.

What else I got?

More mail it looks like, complete with interesting links. Woo hoo.

From: Todd Wells Subject: [No Subject] Hi Everyone, Just got a website, if you get bored check it out.............. toddwells.net Seeya

Fucking Wells is out of his head. And that’s why I always root for him. God Damn, that guy should be president.

I’m getting pretty fucking pissed off at the folks over at safetrails.net. So what did I do, I wrote them a letter. It’s pretty damn long, but I’m going to post it in here anyway. I figure there is a good chance they’ll carve it all up and try and make me look like an asshole.

Even though I’m already and asshole.

You can read the letter by clicking here.

Monday, November 18, 2002

alexus king   I   girl at the beach   I   hotties

Yee haa, another Monday morning. Fuck it.

Eagles murdered the Cardinals. No big surprise there. But fuck me, McNabb may be out for 8 weeks with a busted ankle. I am not stoked.

I hope ol Detmer can really pull out the stops.

Enough football, this is a porn site isn't it.

From: RoCket Boy Subject: Bike Pic Links Mmmmm Stripes, & A Bike.... cutebabo.com Brunette Cyclist on the trail sexsweety.com ***CAUTION*** One For The LADIES Brunette DUDE on a Bike tylersroom.net Japanese Bicycle Sex fiberwhore.com Kaylan on a bike socal-coeds.com Bucket Hat & bicycle publicnakedpics.com ***CAUTION*** Another One For The LADIES DUDE on a Bike young-muscle.com

Here’s one for ya, rythumandflow.com.

From: Matt Subject: XXX RAGBRAI Just a quick glance at your site and I know you'll love these pics from last summers RAGBRAI XXX. teamblaster.com That's what RAGBRAI is all about! Feel free to link our page! I'd love to see if our provider whines like Team Evil's did.

Nice fucking galleries. Damn, I can’t wait for July.

Lets just keep rolling with the mail, ‘cause it’s Monday and my fucking head is blown to bits.

From: Chris Subject: Sofa King weetahded $33 in outstanding parking tickets. $3.05 in the checking account. More than a week til pay day. And what do I do? Click through on a junk email promising $4,000 in cash by Christmas, ring up a $50 charge on my Visa, and now I'm the proud "owner" of a fucking website somewhere. Oh well, I got a 20 in my wallet that has beer written all over it. Might have to go with PBR for the rest of the month. What a pisser.

I’m usually so poor, I can’t even pay attention.

Check this site out. It’s pretty lame, his "games" section, along with all the colors he uses, were jacked directly from drunkcyclist. He even links to the boob puzzle off my fucking server. Nice job, dude. Glad I could help you out.

What can I possibly say to a guy who dresses up like harry potter?

I’ll leave ya with this.

From: Tim Subject: trail nazis, a tip for all Hey dude. I just wrote to the trail nazis. Here is a tip for anyone else that may write in. Put this at the bottom of your email: "Copyright, 2002, YOUR NAME. This Email may not be reprinted or published unless provided in complete, unedited format" I know its simple, but believe it or not, its completely legal and binding. That will prevent them from massacring our emails into what they want them to say. And if they do, we have serious grounds to have the site removed for libel/slander/defamation and/or violation of copyrights. I’ve been reading your site for a couple years now, just don’t write in much, if at all. So I went out last Monday and got drunk, then was riding home. I read a while back on www.chunk666.com about a Cart Bike, where you use a shopping cart for the front. I saw a cart, and being the drunk fuck I am, decided to steal it to take home and make my cart bike. Only prob is the fucking cops got me and wanted to arrest me for theft. Some smooth talking got me out with only a $138 fine, but damn, for a shopping cart? Don’t they have murders to solve or some shit like that? Anyway, its dollar margarita night again this evening, so I must be off.

I’ll pass that tip along. Take it easy on the shopping carts. But the margaritas you can slaughter. Go forth and conquer young man.

Sunday, November 17, 2002

holy shit   I   lesbians   I   more lesbians

They are doing it again. Yes, team evil has another website after the first one got a little to much traffic and had to get throttled back. Well, well, what do you know? Did I do that?

Have at it kids, it’s evilcycling.com.

Also, I’d like to bring to your attention a little side project I’ve been working on. Just check it out, the shit will speak for itself. I give to you, fubarltd.com.

I think it’s totally badass. But what the fuck do I know?

Go check out Bikers Respond on safetrails.net.

What can you expect from people like that? It’s not like they’re gonna wake up one morning and say, wow, I’ve been wrong for all these years.

Yeah right. Hell will freeze over sooner.

Saturday, November 16, 2002

slings   I   thongs   I   nudes

Today was the Tucson bicycle swap meet. And it was good. I didn’t manage to sell all that much, really, but I managed to sell enough.

Nic the Dick, Tall Paul, and Ham Fist all sold more than me. But, they brought shit out with them more, and took more back home at the end of the day with all that extra loot. It’s a package deal I guess. You wanna sell more, you gotta bring more. The more you have, the more you move around. And so it goes.

The whole thing is just unreal. So much shit absolutely fucking everywhere. Tons and tons of old, fucked up garbage. And it sells.

The stuff that doesn’t sell is all the good stuff. If it’s high quality, you’re going to be taking it back home with you unsold. If it’s a piece of shit you found in a closet yesterday and have no idea why you’ve kept it as long as you have, it’ll sell. In ten minutes. For your asking price.

And, man, do you ever catch the bug when you’re out there. I found a hundred things to buy if I found one thing. I could have brought home a 55 gallon trash can full of bizarre little cycling trinkets and bullshit.

Hats, jackets, shoes, pedals, handlebars, stems, and anything else you can possibly imagine pilled up on tables as far as the eye can see. It’s a little slice of heaven for sure.

Looks like Boardman’s hour record is still standing. I imagine it will stay around for a bit longer. Read the whole story over at cyclingnews.com. Bobby sent in this kick ass link. Check it out if you want to say, what the fuck?

And, once again, thank you Laura from Holland.

That’s about it for now, hope ya’ll have a good weekend.

Friday, November 15, 2002

yowza   I   implants suck   I   nice banana

Top of the list, check this shit out. I gotta go check this out. Sounds like my kind of festival.

I seem to have gotten a ton of mail from folks who were equally angered at the safe trails fucks. Read on.

Hey, I’m laughing.

From: James Subject: What is SafeTrails.net's objective? Dear Sir(s) and/or Madam(s), I recently ran across your web site and found it to be somewhat myopic in the views expressed. While I can certainly understand one wanting to "go for a hike without fear", I had difficulty determining what mountain bikes had to do with said fear. I also bristled when I read the "lost in thought" comment. That type of behavior would be irresponsible on any trail, single-use or multi-use. In addition, that attitude smacks of not taking responsibility for one's self. In almost any outdoor situation one needs to be aware of the surroundings. To not accept that responsibility indicates that maybe hiking isn't the best activity for that individual. Perhaps a safer, indoor activity might be more appropriate. I also take issue with the unsubstantiated allegations presented as fact. Items such as "(I met)… two guys on the trail. One of them said that his son was hit last spring by a mountain biker on tunnel and he reported it..." don't do much to further the cause. Real names and events would certainly lend more credibility to SafeTrails.net. As it stands, the web site comes across as a bit vindictive. If "our... concern is SAFETY on our trails" is indeed the true mission of SafeTrails.net, then why the exclusive focus on mountain biking? Certainly horses would impede setting up a tripod in the middle of the trail, as would other hikers. I'm afraid the only fail safe solution would be to buy quite a bit of undeveloped woodland and build exclusive, private trails for the sole use of the owner, then the only thing one would need to look out for would be the occasional falling pine cone or walnut. All of those pesky bears and cougars would be easy enough to take care of on private land. One of the many advantages to living in a capitalistic society is the ability to buy almost anything one wants. Unfortunately, when discussing public lands, we have to admit that we are a democracy as well, and the needs of the group outweigh the needs of the individual. I hope the sarcasm is readily apparent in that last bit, but I am not willing to take anything for granted. I currently enjoy both hiking and bicycling, often on the same trails. My rules are the same regardless of which mode I am using that particular day. Leave no trace and carry out more than I carry in. I also strive to be aware, so I am not impairing or impeding the progress and enjoyment of others, whether they are on foot, horseback, or on a bike. To "set up my tripod to take a close-up picture of a flower" ON the trail is just plain dangerous, no matter how that particular trail's usage is designated. I realize, in general, hikers believe mountain bikers are the root of all evil, and often give attitude without provocation. I also see mountain bikers give the same attitude to the horse people. This behavior upsets me a great deal, because I ultimately believe that we are all out on the trail for the same reasons; to enjoy the beauty of nature and maybe make ourselves a little more fit, both physically and emotionally. Quite simply, we all want to have some fun and enjoy ourselves. Perhaps if all factions involved acknowledged this more often, we would have an easier time getting along and sharing that which we care about so greatly. I sincerely hope that SafeTrails. net eventually becomes a more positive endeavor. There is indeed room for all of us.

Well, at least I know what my objective is. I’m here to make you laugh.

At me.

Like this guy for example. He need to learn to laugh.

From: JP Subject: Today’s shit What's with the Jane Fonda crusade. Even though it's the off season there has to be something eating you more than some flakey actress stunt over thirty years ago. The bitch apologized, who cares, move on. Like the site - but back off the Boulder grouping - you ignorant fuck - yeah Boulder is just like Aspen - like Scottsdale isn't all about uptight richy white fucks.

That’s what I do, man. I blow shit out. I mean, what did you expect me to do?

And I'm not that ignorant about Boulder. Sure, I've never lived there. But I call 'em like I see 'em.

Thursday, November 14, 2002

whoa   I   huge boobs   I   lesbians

Holy hand grenades, Big Gay Randy’s back in town from hiking around in the woods. Weeee. What else is new?

I put up a link to a new page I was putting together last night, without actually uploading the page itself. Um, oops. Just call me homer on that one.

It’s all good now, so check it out. I give you shops across the land.

Who wants haiku?

These are dedicated to The Worlds Angriest Hippie up in Flagstaff. I love you man.

Drunkcyclist?
Pornography on two wheels.
Yes, there is a God.

Smoke, happy hippy,
Don’t forget to hug a tree.
Microbus camping.

Have fun pounding nails,
in the Flagstaff shit winter.
Good luck not starving.

Jerry’s’ dead, Phish sucks,
Stupid hippy dingbat bitch,
you fucking suck dude.

From: Ang Subject: Sorry, I’m obviously crazy I heard a funny story. When I got to school [girl] told me that her boyfriend [boy] was out with a couple of attorneys that he works with. I guess one of them told him that he should check out this really cool website. The guy went on to say that he is a cyclist and [boy] should check out drunkcyclist.com. He said that it has really cool links to small bike shops and as an extra bonus - lots of porn, including a Jenna gallery. He also said that the guy who runs it has this really great running commentary about his life. Supposedly, [girl] has told [boy] about the website and so [boy] told the guy that [girl] goes to school with the wife of big jonny. Anyway, I thought you might get a kick out of that.

Yeah, I’m bad. I’m nationwide. Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Neil sends these fine links, saying only to keep up the good work, and keep putting down the PBR's. Well, I'll try.

huntercycles.com
voyeurweb.com/main/Main.html
leda.ameanet.com
nfmag.com/posts/c0.shtml

Now lets get serious. Check this out fucked up pro-hiker anti-bike safetrails.net. Among other things I cannot understand, this site suggests, "Increased speed by its nature reduces the appreciation of the natural environment."

I’ll blow the whistle and throw the flag. You people are assholes.

From: Nat Subject: [No Subject] This is what I play after my morning commute and all the close encounters with automobiles. limmy.com/playthings/xylophone/

Fuck it, who wants to see some porn? Again, Laura from Holland spreads the love.

digital-whores.com
xxx-cum-addict.com
petite-models.com
jizz-city.com
hotnewstars.com
naked-teens-live.com
chicksnaked.coml
digital-whores.com
cheerleaders.sicfreehost.com
thehornyclown.com
adults-playland.com
tgpteens.net
sexburn.com
sleazydream.com

Yeah, that’s what I thought you’d say.

Wednesday, November 13, 2002

free vids   I   holy trainwreck   I   yeah baby

I got an email today about Jane Fonda being nominated to be one of the top 100 women of the century. Instead of posting the whole email, I’ll direct your attention over to truth or fiction.com. They always have the goods.

In case any of you are wondering what I personally think about Jane Fonda, I’ll tell you. She is a fucking cunt and I hate her. Stupid hippie piece of shit, gutter snipe cum-dumpster whore. Fucking two bit hack actress. Pole burning dick monkey slut. Fucking rich ass scumbag. I hope she gets run over by a cement truck and dies tasting her own blood, that worthless fucking bitch.

Best part is now she had more money than God a big old ranch up in Colorado, while blue collar sons a bitches like me and you get to slave away and never live in places like Aspen, Vail, Boulder and Telluride.

Come to think of it, fuck Aspen, Vail, Boulder and Telluride.

Well, at least I can look at myself in the mirror.

Now I feel better, who wants a hug?

From: Casey Subject: To the Hero Those who protest the war, are at war. If you don't want to fight the war, fine. DON'T. Quiet yourself all together. If you want peace, shut the fuck up. That includes you, Mr. Protesting Pussy Boy screaming "Insane Oil War" while driving your fucking gas guzzling protest vehicle to the next point of war. I fucking dare you. Thousands of soldiers abroad dare you to. Matter of fact, they are protesting your blatant disregard for the values upon which this Land of Ours was founded, by giving wholly to the cause. And you, in your father's oil burning piece of shit "Earth Worsener", have the nerve to spit on the ones making it all possible in the first place. I'll tell you what, when you find yourself in line at the "Great Big Airport Terminal in the Sky" and judgment time for you comes along, you can expect a mouthful of Hell's spit right in YOUR fucking face for being such a worthless human, contradicting the values of life, and daring to "speak your mind". Those who really fight, for your fucked up idea of freedom, are the Heroes. The man in the airport, He is a hero. He wasn't asking for much, but he gave more than people like the protester ever had in the first place. I am thankful. I owe life as I know it to the Hero, WE owe our simplest pleasures in life to the Hero. Could you walk around the block on a nice fall day if there wasn't bravery abroad as we speak, keeping the countries that hate us from blowing up your neighborhood? No, you couldn't even wipe your ass because you would have no ass to wipe. Hero, I can not convey to you properly the thanks that you deserve. I can only ask you to trust me when I tell you that every turn of the pedals is a gift. Every breath of FREE air that I breathe is a gift. Every free person on every free block of this Fine Land is a gift. You, Hero have given that gift to me. Thanks for listening Jon. Live Free or Die.

My man Bruce says he might just have to buy this game. I can see why he might like it.

Check out campyman.com.

From: Retarded Subject: filthy whore I ride a touring frame, so I am my buddies house and a grab his racing frame to go for a beer run. I got this 20 year old hottie that I have been working on for hours following me. I am rocketing along and some asshole in his lowered Honda cuts me off and hit his brakes. My reflexes are tuned to the longer geometry of my beast of a bike. I got a nice two wheel drift and then spilled it in the middle of a busy intersection with oncoming traffic. I am sitting there like a rabbit caught in the headlights, literally. No time to recover and lick my wounds. Stunned, I grabbed that whore of a bike and pulled myself onto the sidewalk to avoid some asshole that is honking at me and not slowing down. Damage report, hole in the hand, hole in the knee, ego busted to pieces. The best part was, I was sober. So I brushed the gravel out of my cuts and pretended that I was not hurt. I got 20 feet before I realized that the crash had customized the frame as well as giving the whole bike a "tune up". I biffed it again in front of a gas station, damn near an endo. Sprawled on the oily cement. FUCK FUCK FUCK. I finished the beer run (this also warranted a bottle of rum) and rubbed my wussy for a while. I didn't get the chick, she probably thinks this veteran rider is a fucking retard. she spent the night but I didn't get none. I woke up this morning and couldn't move. Wrists, elbows, back, and knee stuck to the sheets. I pray that I have paid my dues to: 1. the gods of bike Karma 2. The minions of Satan 3. The deities of pussy Shwarma 4. the Nevada Gaming Authorities 5. NOW ATF CIA and NAMBLA And any other parties that I may have offended to deserve this turn of events.....

I think you’ve made your peace.

Well, it’s time I de-system my system wheels and go for a ride. I’m not going to get in any better shape sitting here staring at the fucking wall, now am I?

And, yes, I said de-system the system.

These things happen in life, these humbling experiences. I just about died pushing those heavy ass son’s a bitches around for the last week. I’m taking out the torn proof tubes and running regular ones for a while. The front wheel has got to be over three pounds still, she ain’t light. But, at least it ain’t the four and half pounds it used to be.

Call me what you will. The system had defeated me.

Tuesday, November 12, 2002

aria giovanni   I   kiana   I   yeah baby

Mike sends this link in, adding simply, nothing but fucked up here.

Yeah buddy, you got that right. That is one of the stupidest things I’ve ever seen.

Oh, and just in case anyone wants to know, you can make a pretty mean cocktail out of a packet of Emer’gen-C and Tanqueray. Just when you thought you had nothing in the house, you to can pull this beverage out of your ass. Just combine in a pint glass and add a few ice cubes just for the fuck of it.

It’s working on me, let me tell you. Go check this out.

I can’t remember if I already linked this or not, so fuck it. Click here. This is one mans dream, and then him crashing and burning. Looks like fun and then it looks like it hurt.

On a happy note, Randy left a cd at my house, aside from the gin in the freezer. It’s one of the two discs from the Led Zepplin BBC sessions.

If you’re like me, you grew up hearing all the Zepplin stuff way to much and you can’t even handle hearing them again. It’s to the point where if I hear them on the radio, I turn to another channel.

Stairway to heaven? Fuck. Don’t even get me started.

But this, this is differet. Sure, it’s the same old songs for the most part, but, these are versions of them I’ve never heard before. It’s raw, it’s gritty, it isn’t all polished and perfect from hours upon hours of studio tweaing. In short, it kicks ass.

And that’s what I’m rocking out to as I pop the top on another can of Budweiser on this fine November evening in the desert southwest.

Here is a couple of links sent in from D. B.,

From: Geo Subject: You did just fine… I think you answered Pat's e-mail just fine on your site. I never served our country, but my Dad and all his brothers did and if they woulda been there in that airport and witnessed that-there woulda been a WHOLE lot of ass-kicking going on. Guaranfuckingteed.

Right on man, right on. I do what I can. And here is some more info on our man Pat, for those of you who would like to know.

From: Pat Subject: Re: read your peice Yeah true story. Served in Nam with US Navy, lost eye and broke back spent nearly 2 years in Balboa Naval Hospital. I am doing fine 4 kids makin good money nice house married 20 years. My oldest son went into army airborne and I lost alot of sleep over it, but it is what he wanted to do. He is excellent student and the army is sending him to law school. My son Adam just told me he wants to join the marines, (and that blows my mind) Louis is talkin about the Navy subs but he is just 16 so I can forstall that, he would be third generation Navy. I was born on North Island Naval hospital in 52 just before my dad shipped to korea. take care pat

Monday, November 11, 2002

chrissy m   I   lesbians rule   I   tawny roberts

And a happy Veterans day to you all. May the chunk be with you.

I’m in the middle of a laundry blitzkrieg. I think I’ve washed, dried and put away three loads of shit so far. Oh God, it sucks. I gotta finish this up so I can go tool around with the Gnome for a bit, spin out the legs and all.

I was as tight as a fucking drum this morning. When I got out of bed at 8:30, which is sleeping in a bit for me, I felt like I was 87 years old. I couldn’t believe how much I hurt from hiking this weekend. Unreal.

I’ve got a wound on my heel that is raging to beat the band. I won’t even insult it by calling this a mere blister. The chunk of skin I had to cut off this morning was around the size of a quarter. Nothing but pink irritated hell under there I can assure you. Ouch. Fuck.

And, what what time is it?

From: crafte Subject: The most fucked up thing on the net Dude- I think I just saw the most disturbing thing ever. Check it out. Your site rokks. geocities.com/mysterygrill

I’m glad to hear you like the site and yes, that is the most fucked up thing on the net. It's so fucked, I can't even believe that it’s for real. It has got to be fake. Gots to be. No one is that fucked, are they? And here I was kinda hoping I was the most fucked up thing on the net, but we can’t have everything we want now can we?

Well, maybe we can after all. Right now I want a cold beer, and I’m fairly confident I can pull that one off. Maybe. Kinda. Sometimes.

I hate to end this on a sad note, but that’s just the way it is. Ride off into the sunset and fade, fade away.

From: Bob Subject: things that suck chicagosports.chicagotribune.com/sports... This one just sucks.

Yes, that does suck. It sucks a lot.

And so does this.

I wrote a little something last night with one hell of a buzz on. I was hoping I wouldn’t hear the sad, awful truth about some of the bullshit hippy fucking jokers in this country. But, like a lot of things, you can’t hide from what is real.

The truth is always there, even if we don’t want to hear it.

From: Pat Subject: read your piece In 1972 I was standing in the ticket counter PSA at lax flyin back to San Diego. In my dress blues. I had lost an eye in Nam 6 months earlier and I was real self conscious about the way I looked an all. So I am standing there and this lady comes over and looks at my vn service ribbon and sez "you were over there?' I say yeah she was holding a baby. So she spits right in my face. And the guy with her starts laughing and they just walked away. No one said anything. I was just standing there in my dress blues just turned 20, and I just broke down and cried.

I’ve started writing a response to your email and deleted what I’ve written three times. I just can’t seem to find a way to say what I feel.

Sadness. Anger. Bewilderment.

I’m at a loss.

Me saying I’m sorry for what happened in that airport, that I’m ashamed of what that woman did, that I cannot fathom the cruelty of that action, seems somehow inadequate, like it’s not enough.

But, I am sorry. And I am ashamed. Deeply ashamed. I’m no fan of war, killing or death, but God Damn what the fuck was that? You don’t agree with America’s involvement in Vietnam, fine. What could you possibly hope to accomplish by spitting on a young, wounded, vulnerable man?

I don’t know, I don’t have the answers. I don’t know why things are so fucked, now and forever. All I can say is this. When its my turn. When I’m the guy standing in line at the airport, I hope I can find the strength to do what is right. To not be a silent bystander. To speak up, to speak out.

My man, tonight, when I’m cracking open ice cold Budweisers with the Gnome and watching the sun set, I’ll hoist one your direction and say thank you. Thank you for being a man. Thank you for fighting when asked to. Thank you for making it through. And thank you for sharing your story with me.

Sunday, November 10, 2002

tera patrick   I   um, yeah   I   jana cova

Oh hell. I’m shot to fucking pieces.

Madera Canyon by car yesterday morning. Hike up and around by Jack Mountain then the big push for the cloud covered summit of Mt. Wrightson. I had a damn good time, complete with blisters even.

From: Dennis Subject: ahh, Trackies Euros got it down yet another reason to have a track bike....other than gambling, drinking lots of beer and eating frites cyclingnews.com/GrenFri020

Yeah, I hear ya. I should be there getting drunk, eating frites and all that. Seems like I might really take to it, eh? Yeah, why can’t I be doing that this time of year?

Instead I’m sitting at home, alone, watching t.v., nursing Big Gay Randy’s bottle of gin. He left it here. I’m taking good care of it, though. Real good care.

I’ve just seen the end of a film called "Hamburger Hill". I’ve seen it before, I’ll probably see it again, and the outcome is always the same. I get real pissed off about the War in Vietnam.

Especially the one part where all the boys are sitting around recuperating at base camp after getting their ass’s fucking handed to ‘em. They’re all whooped, half their buddies are dead, and there ain’t nothin’ but more of the same in the forecast for tomorrow.

The one of the bunch who had been back stateside, and returned to Nam, is telling a story. He’s saying how back in the world, some "college boys" are phoning up the parents of young men killed in action and telling the parents how happy they are their sons were killed by the valiant Viet Cong. How they deserve it, or some shit.

I don’t know if things like that really happened in this country, but right now, with a belly full of gin and a way USA attitude going, I’ll tell ya like this. If I found someone who had pulled a stunt like that back in the late 60’s or early 70’s, I think I’d have to hurt ‘em for it.

Of course, anyone who had pulled such a stunt is probably long since sold out, living the good life in a place like Boulder, driving a 80,000 dollar import car with two kids in Yale. Fuck all that. Fuckers need to pay. You don’t piss on my fucking country, buddy, not on my watch.

Yeah. I’m all about Patriotism.

Saturday, November 9, 2002

veronica   I   krystal steal   I   brianna banks

This morning I’m going to try something new. Hiking. Yes, I’m going to walk far enough into the woods that I have to sleep there. Then I’m going to get up and walk back the next day.

Isn’t that exciting?

Click here to check out a free version of xplayer. It’s simple, it’s small, it works.

This past week was a real kick in the ass and I didn’t get to many updates in. I’ll see if I can improve on the record this week.

One thing I’m thinking of doing is collecting links for all the bike shop websites out there on the web. I thought I’d put them all in one place, make one list, so it’s easier to find them here on drunkcyclist. Instead of linking ya once or twice and then you’re buried somewhere in the archives.

If you’ve got a shop, or work at one, and want to see it listed, please submit the link and a line or two description to shops@drunkcyclist.com. Remember to include things like where you’re located and what the name of the shop is. You know, shit like that.

On that note, I’m loading up my backpack and blowin’ this taco stand.

Thursday, November 7, 2002

trisha   I   ashley   I   michelle thorne

Slide a helmet on that soldier boys, and check this shit out.

It pleases me very much to say the new Team Evil website it up and rocking. These guys are the tops. I met them out at Ragbrai, and I like a bad infection, they just won’t go away.

Well, well, well. Another day in November, another slow ass bike ride. What else is new?

From: response Subject: double down Couldn’t get in, they were checking id's and they wouldn’t let a 30 year old chick that i was with into the place because her ID was expired by one month. Pretty fucking square!!!! We went to The Beach instead. Hot dancers in g-strings, ladies drink for free, free drink tickets, people pouring tequila in your mouth for free, free buffet. Some how i still managed to blow 100 bucks. For some reason, i have been banned from most of the major car rentals. However, I was able to rent a 14' super duty truck. Lemme tell you, picking up on chicks in vegas with in a 5 ton truck loaded with taiwanese business men, beer and electronics is no easy task.

Compared to him, my life is nothing.

Remember to thank Laura for the ton of links.

nnteens.com/galleries/wow18
free-asia-porn-pics.com
asian-teen-hardcore-porn.com/photos-1
asian-teen-hardcore-porn.com/photos-2
chickpee.com/peepants/peegal01
chickpee.com/peepants/peegal02

It’s just what Laura does best. We all have our strengths. I’m yet to find mine.

These are this weeks new sites:
vanilla bicycles
team evil
free-market.net
llana mercer

Replacing last weeks sites:
tour de bar
pinup toons
rate my huck
weebls stuff

Wednesday, November 6, 2002

veronica   I   lisa boyle   I   sydney moon

Drinking coffee, checking email, stuffing stickers into envelopes. Thinking to myself, man, what a relief that fucking midterm I took last night is over. I was a bit worked up yesterday afternoon in anticipation of the exam. And, I was a little miffed I was going to miss the bar-b-que and fun with Big Gay Randy, Marvelous Marin, and Justin the Wingnut.

But, now, as I’ve watched the Randini get up to vomit three times, and it ain’t even 8:00 in the morning yet, I’m thinking missing it maybe was a good thing. Randy likes the sauce, and let me assure you, so does jonny. It only leads to trouble.

And there he goes a fourth time.

He asked me for and aspirin. Being the friend I am, I told him he didn’t need an aspirin. What he needs is to stop being a pussy.

I kinda need to piss, but the bathroom looks like a murder scene. Maybe I’ll pop around the corner and see what the Gnome is up to.

Check out the beard guy while we take care of some shit.

From: Route 66 Bicycles Subject: dude I think some Hoosier stole your name Can you plug my website, route66bicycles.com? I just opened this place a month ago and could use a little publicity. Now, I didn't link you on my site, but you know, I can't be havin my customers thinkin I'm all about porn and cuss words. But damn it I know I'm responsible for at least a few of the hits on your site!! Ok, a lot of em. That's a big 10-4 good buddy.

This is fucked. I don’t really know what to make of it.

From: Dave Subject: Link Exchange Hey, I love your site. In the complicated world of porn, I'd be lost with out you. I'd consider it a personal favor if you were to check out my site The Voice of Reason voiceofreason.8m.net and put up a link on Drunk Cyclist. I'll be putting a like to your page up upon my next update.

You are linked.

Sunday, November 3, 2002

chrissy m   I   brunette   I   blonde

Well, there is a bike in there somewhere. I guess that’s gonna count for something. Maybe.

And then you have this link. No bike in there anywhere. Well, maybe. Kinda.

Fuck it, I’ll link ‘em anyway. What the hell do I have to loose?

After drinking pabst all night (.75 cents a can) I pretty much feel like this.

It’s a life I guess. I’m off to hike around on Moscow Mountain. They even have snow up there.

Snow? What the fuck is snow?

Saturday, November 2, 2002

mason   I   chloe   I   alex

I’m not sure what it is exactly, I can’t quite explain it. A feeling, nostalgia maybe, for lack of a better word. Am I getting that much older? How long since this things seen the light of day? A year? Two?

I moved the trashed Giordana frame and leather work gloves from atop the box, only showing how long it’s been sitting against the wall. Open her up, and raised this baby from a long sleep. I slide quill stem into steer tube. Reattached the cantilever brakes. Pulled the IRD seat post and Suntour rat trap pedals from the bottom of the box, stood back and looked at my handiwork.

Salsa, steel, old and heavy. Fork from the days before suspension. Seven speed, actually works. Ritchey cranks, 150 stem, roller guide for the front brake cable. Narrow Hyperlite bars. How did I ever ride this thing?

I’m going to ride this bike today.

And that feels good.

Turns out thing are good in the world. Check this

From: JT Subject: Double take . Kar story. I had a funny experience last night while heading to a road ride. I'm currently without a headlamp and its dark here in Columbia, SC at like 5:30 pm now. Bummer. So I've got a flasher on the back, and some friends promised a light for me when I reached the ride (Publick House parking lot - local Irish beer haus and post ride self-medication venue). On the way this lady pulls out in front of me and I pretty much have to lock it up to miss slamming into her. No big deal, because she couldn't see me (no headlamp). So I keep going and curse a little under my breath. She slows down to like 10 mph and I'm like: 'what the hell are you doing now you idiot?'. . . So she motions for me to come over closer to her car, and I think she's gonna rip into me. I say "WHAT"?! , just expecting her to start yelling or throw something at me. She starts to apologize over and over like it's her fault. I was so surprised I told her it was my fault, which it was. We talked back and forth for a minute and she drove away. That's the first time on a bike in 10+ years that I've had a person actually apologize for getting in my way with a car. Refreshing.

Friday, November 1, 2002

sanja   I   hottie   I   sanja again

The first on November. Fall, definitely. Sitting in an airport bar. Spokane, Washington. Bored. Flight went OK, a bit rough perhaps. Capped off the experience with a violently jolting landing.

I do believe we may have actually bounced.

Thinking of bouncing planes leads only to nightmarish remembrances of some plane spinning lopsided, flaming cartwheels into an Iowa cornfield and muted, sudden death. So, I’ll just stop this now.

The bar is vast, open, clean to the point of sterility. Utterly devoid of anything resembling character. I’m drinking the Northwest Trail Blonde Lager. And when I say ‘drinking’ I mean ‘enduring’.

I cannot say I’d recommend it.

But, at airport bar prices I’m muscling this whore down one way or another. Pride is on the line, as well as the rather steep $5.00 price tag for this swill. I’ll be God damned if I’m not finishing each and every drop.

I guess I can say I’ve had less fun at a bar, but I really can’t remember when.

Wondering how long I’ll be sitting here, I force down a few more swallows of this awful brew. And I order a sausage sandwich.

The blessed off season may have ended yesterday, but I still plow forward in spirit. Sure, I actually rode a bike this morning. Old habit die hard. High noon. Cold beer. Sausage. Permanent Ragbrai.

These are not some hollow phrases thrown about by some sly huckster. There is far to much of that there days already with the mid term election next week.

I read plenty of the sly hucksters twisted rhetoric on the plane.

I also heard this week that Jam Master Jay from RUN DMC was shot and killed.

That’s fucking depressing enough to make even this beer taste good.

The waitress, pushing forty in two directions at once, asked it I’d like dessert.

I replied I had desert right here, tapping my finger against my beer glass.

That’s my favorite, she replied, desert in a glass.

They say its warmed up in Spokane, thirty two degrees today. Earlier, I guess, it was only twenty one.

Why would anyone want to live here?