The Asses of NAHBS 2015

Early Sunday morning, I was sitting on a couch in a flea market/workshop/ping pong emporium where Stinner Frameworks had thrown a hootenanny to which Dirty and I were invited by some Lebowski-style nihilists on our hotel floor. Dirty was wearing a fur coat. Wilco was playing from a boombox. I looked at my phone. It read 1:59 a.m.

Took a long, unnecessarily heavy pull from my cup of beer. Phone clock jumped to 3 a.m., like a jaywalker shooting a traffic gap. Fuck. I reached for the whiskey in my camera bag. Eventually hopped on my Kona and slow rolled back to the hotel, through the empty lobby, silent save for the drone of escalators, into the elevator and back to the room. I found a High Life, blasted some Run the Jewels. Then I woke up on Dirty’s airline bike bag, wounded soldier inches away.

Good party, Stinner.

Below is more of what we enjoyed at the North American Handmade Bike Show, a spectacle that commands healthy marveling at the manifestations of frame builder imaginations. Metal, wood, carbon, leather. It was all there. Most of our cycling industry media brethren have covered what matters from NAHBS, have interviewed the fabrication aces, and expounded on the latest, greatest, and perhaps that which we’ll never see again.

But first, an exposé of a gluteul sort. Our asses are an ancillary but no less important anatomical factor when we hop on a bike. Without your ass, you don’t bike (unless it’s one of these weird no-seat bikes).

We present to you: The Asses of NAHBS.

And now for some non-ass content.

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Gabriel from Altruiste Bicycle Co., eh?

Mad Squirrel leather headbadge

Leather lobster claw – click photo for LEATHER.
Lobster claw saddle on Altruiste's track bike.
Lobster claw leather branded saddle on Altruiste’s track bike.
Moots
K, I’ll eat your shorts for that Moots Psychlo X RSL.
CeramicSpeed
CeramicSpeed titanium 3-D printed hollow jockey wheels.
Bar tape
Roadkill bar tape.
Speedhound Bikes rad badge
Speedhound Bikes rad badge.
Repete Cycles' track bike from the future
Repete Cycles’ track bike from the movie Tron, probably.
Lots of carbon
Gates carbon belt drive to the EXTREME.
Andrew the Maker
Andrew the Maker.
Cathy knows what's up
Cathy from Gates Carbon Drive knows what’s up.
Thad x Beer Frame Pack
Thad x Frame Pack.
Super top secret
Where the NAHBS sausage is made.
Sean
Sean Cochran from Schwalbe on how the Procore will never give me a flat again.
Quiring
Scott Quiring’s tandem fatty.
Yes
Yes, Boo.
Brodie
Brodie’s city bike, also a winner for that category. Need this light setup.
The candy store
My favorite candy store.
Pedalino
Pedalino Bikes. Cuz pink is the color of love.

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Todd Heath's Moonmen bikes. Duh.
Todd Heath’s Moonmen bikes. Duh.

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If you live in a state that borders Indiana, you know that driving through it to get to another state is kinda like being at a concert where you’re stuck standing behind some really tall dude. And there’s nothing you can do about it. Alright, maybe I’ll go get a beer and come back? Maybe he’ll shift a few feet over and I’ll be able to see the stage?

Shit. He’s still there. That was my drive back.

Thanks for the bourbon and bikes, Louisville. You throw a hell of a party.

Next: NAHBS 2016: Sacramento.

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About Wrighteous

Keeper of the DC colors in the American Midwest.

14 thoughts on “The Asses of NAHBS 2015

  1. Pingback: The Asses of NAHBS 2015 | PEDAL CANTON

  2. I’d like me some beer. High Life, lowlife or other. Sadly, health issues have placed alky-lol off my list.

    Oh well, tip a tall one for me.

  3. Mootses are yummy, plain and simple.

    My 29er came with Schwalbe tars, apparently defective. Schwalbe replaced the first set with another apparently defective set, then told me to fuck off. Out of spite, I sold my set of Winter Marathons. Boy, I’ll bet that showed ’em.

    I made tons of money in Indiana, mostly at automotive tier-2s around Fort Wayne. I presently hold one of the largest and most valuable collections of Indiana State Quarters on the west coast.

  4. Mikey, I’ve seen more of Indiana than most states since I drive through it so often. Can’t speak for the Schwalbes since I’ve never ridden them, but they’re all about the Procore to keep your tire from rolling off the rim when it hopefully doesn’t go flat.

  5. Mr. Wrighteous— you speak sense, sir. Indiana is an okay state, as long as you don’t EVER get involved in politics or the daylight savings time issue. And their state quarter is the bad-assest of all, with a fuckin’ 800 HP open-wheel formula race car on it. IMS is hallowed ground; I’d like to make it to the MotoGP event there some day.

  6. My paternal homeland is Indiana. I’ve been there a few times. Nice State. The roads are a tad flat but at my age I like flat roads. Just not flat woman or flat beers.

    Just stay out of his hometown…..Muncie. Total shithole.

    Wish I could find that classic skit by abbott and costello about Muncie but it’s not showing up on the youtube.

  7. I moved to Indiana two years ago. When people ask me what Indiana is like, I say, “very good at mediocrity” and it’s true.

    There are nice hills in the southern part for road and mtb. There are maybe three ‘good’ restaurants in the whole state. There is supposedly a brewery that makes a good IPA in the state, but you can never find said IPA anywhere, ever.

    Señor Wrighteous should check out the Major Taylor Velodrome. It’s a fun place to be in the summer, especially on Thursday nights (Cat5/Cat4 races are the best, imo).

  8. Pingback: Tuesdays with Dirty: My NAHBS - Drunkcyclist.com

  9. Late to the party as usual. As a Pennsylvania refugee currently residing in Indiana, I can attest to it’s mediocrity. The HMBA however does put some effort into local trails and events. If it is IPA you want find Upland’s Coast buster or in the NW corner of the state visit Three Floyds.