So over the last few days we’ve all been having a good giggle at the chaos that unfolded at CX Nationals in Austin. Regardless of who’s to blame, somebody done fucked up. It’s a shitty situation, especially for those racers who got screwed out of a race. We feel for them the most. But after a few beers it was easy to enjoy some cheap shots at USAC’s expense and joke about how they could screw up a wet dream. I noticed a friend make a comment about how “…at least they haven’t fucked up fat biking yet.” Well lo and behold, looky here. Talk about jumping the shark. So they drop 24-hour nationals in lieu of a fat bike race? I mean do we really need a striped jersey for this? So I got to chatting with my fat bike pal Chewey in Minnesota, a.k.a. the anti-carbon guy at Fat-Bike.com. He’s at the core of the scene and I knew he’d have a more cultured opinion than myself.
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After reading about what all happened in Austin TX last weekend it got me thinking about how are they going to fuck up a Fat Bike National race. That’s right, USAC is holding a Fat Bike National race on Feb 14 (does that date ring a bell to you?) in Ogden, UT.
First and foremost there already IS a National Championship. That race is being held on March 7th in Cable, WI on the world famous Birkensomethingorother course (it’s cross country skiing, who gives a shit what the course is called).
So let’s get the calendar straight. USAC is holding their first EVER fat bike National Championship race Feb 14, same day as 24 Hours of Old Pueblo, a race well known and well attended in AZ, but one that won’t go with USAC sanctioning. And a few weeks before the real National Championship in WI (again a non sanctioned race and in it’s 3rd yr) being held on March 7th, the same day as Pugsley World Championship which is in it’s 4-5 yr of existence (see a trend here?).
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Now that we’ve cleared that up, I went to the USAC calendar and went to register (not that I ever would have) for the Fat Tire Championship, seems like the only way to find out all the pertinent info for the race. For what I gather USAC has a standard form, with standard classifications, and an incredibly high entry fee. That did not include your racing license. Now I don’t race, but it looks to me like all these guys do is print this form add what ever race they can see as a money maker, insert the proper titles, location, and date and TA-DA we have a National Championship. They already have all the banners and shit they need to make it look good, I don’t think it got used much in Austin. Cause all you need to have a “world class” event is a form, fancy banners, a smarmy tittle for your organization and a town dumb enough to let you in. Now I’m not saying Ogden, UT is dumb. But Ogden, UT? Really? Fat Bike Capital of the good old USofA? Maybe, I don’t know, never been there. Might be a lovely city, good schools, churches, snow, 3.2 beer! 3.2 beer? I’m starting to smell a rat here. Does the USAC understand that fat bikes were made for riding through snow and shit to get to bon fires and drink real beer? Can you imagine the first stop in this race and all the have is 3.2? The striped jersey will go to the first DNF. This is my only knowledge of Ogden. Watch this an see if you can tell who actually rides a fat bike (racing or otherwise) and who’s from Ogden.
The good thing is you have a choice, You can do a 24 hr race in the desert, or a pretend national championship in Utah. Or you can hold out a month and do a real National Championship in Wisconsin (that hurts just typing it) OR A WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP in Decorah, IA.
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Choose wisely ……… Nah fuck it, do what ever you want, fat biking will be dead is 2 yrs. It’s just a fad.
Our friend Spinner wrapped it up nicely…
“At least they identify that it is the USA Cycling Fat Bike National Championship. Kind of like if Formula 1 hosted a monster truck rally championship, or if the Kentucky Derby hosted the Running of the Bulls, or if Starbucks took over for Red Bull Rampage. At least they warned you that it’s a joke…”