When our friend Tim L. mentioned that he was going to the Bilenky Junkyard Cross race in Philly, we asked him to please send over a race report. He did one better, and sent over a video too. Which he assures me was filmed while holding a beer in one hand at all times. I haven’t entered a cross race in a decade, but this seems like something I need to do.
What does a lumberjack with a chainsaw, a junkyard and Cliff Huxtable have in common. Fucken nothing. Unless you went to Bilenky Junkyard Cross in Philly on Sunday. There’s not a better way to celebrate the winter solstice than with a bike race thru a junkyard in the middle of the City of Brotherly Love with enough beer to get you stupid drunk. And stupid drunk is the best drunk.
This was the ninth annual Bilenky Junkyard Cross Race which started in 2006 behind Bilenky Cycle Works, which is the junkyard of Bob’s Auto Parts. @cyclocrossgal said it best on the Twitters: “Well run event without a bunch of bullshit.” True. Put together by Bilenky’s Stephen Bilenky and Pat Gaffney and the boys at Lone Wolf Cycling and a shitload of volunteers, it’s laid back, there are no stupid points, there are freak bikes, girls in tutus, cowbells, costumes and some swag if you win. It’s all about the swag. Oh, and the Glory. Can’t forget the glory.
Danger Stupid! This race is just as much fun watching as it is racing. The course changes every year with different obstacles mostly made out of wreckage found around the junkyard. However, it’s not for the faint of heart – make sure your insurance is paid up and you have a tetanus shot because it is a working junkyard and there’s a good chance you’re going to bend, break or get stabbed by something. I watched one guy get stitches on his chin after getting his ass kicked by a car door. Last year a guy taco’d his front wheel after over-shooting a ramp over a car and, well, it took a while to scrape him off the ground. And I just saw an Instagram post of some guy’s foot who lost his big fucken toe and couple years back! Remember, it’s all about the glory.
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This is a race you can’t miss if you’re in the area. Whether you’re riding or watching, it’s a great time with great people and bikes and beer. Best line of the day – “The beer is free but the roofies are gonna cost yah”. Go fuck yourself Cliff Huxtable.