It’s not the gear hot shot.

The roads are free with plenty of tickle, each time I ride trying to remember my luck. To be able, to have the time, the patience, the mind. To experience this bliss is most definitely a privilege.

A place like Madison, known for its roads, so many kickers and trees, cornfields and curves. It’s nice here. To be able to ride out of the driveway, and have hundreds, if not thousands of miles of unclaimed road. To myself, to do what I want. Pedal, rest, breath, smell the fresh spread manure.

It’s on these trips though, that we are sometimes slighted by lunacy. Fifteen thousand dollar bikes of stealthy aero dynamic advantage, manned by machos training full retard for the most superbly important huge race of all time. Who cares? At this point, I don’t.

A chuckle perhaps, if I have the lung capacity. But sometimes it sticks with me and I wonder why, why is this guy so serious about his ride? The kit, the bike, the “I’m-not-going-to-lift-my-sperm-helmet-to-nod-at-this-fat-dude-with-unshaven-legs” type of guy. The fire is stoked.

So I hop on his wheel, with whatever I have. 10 speeds, 20 speeds, sometimes only one speed and most likely aluminum because that’s the way it is. It’s nothing special, but I try to keep up anyways, because it ain’t the bike the makes the ride, it’s the ride that makes the mind.

Diminished by the reality of my absent fitness, it can’t be the lagging equipment, can it? Here comes a hill, my strong suit, I’ll surly show this dork it’s not about the giddup and more about the will. Fuck, it got hard, real hard. Maybe even 200 beats hard. I look down in shame of not being able. My brakes are rubbing. Fuck me. No fuck you. I win.

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About Cupcake

I don’t have a beer gut, I’ve developed a liquid grain storage facility.

27 thoughts on “It’s not the gear hot shot.

  1. I like to liberate those types’ “butt-rockets” when they pull shit like that. More often than not, though, they end up sucking my wheel. That’s where a good farmer’s blow comes in handy.

  2. The playing field can always be leveled by copious amounts of alcoholic beverage…is my vindication.

  3. You have actual bike lanes where ever you be ? I’m from NJ. A bike lane here is called a curb.

    You’re both pussies.

  4. A pussy is as a pussy does. Not sure what that means but it sounds pretty philosophical. Regardless, you are right TTT. And hey, speaking of pussies, does one reach a certain age in life and say, “It is now time I live a life of pussification” or is there something deeper going on there?

  5. “It is now time I live a life of pussification” or is there something deeper going on there? ”

    Doesn’t depend on time but circumstance. You can become a pussy at 10 or 60. Depends on how soon Life sucks the life out of you. You still seem to be rolling good to me. Just next time catch the douchetard OK ??

  6. Looks like the West Side. You need to go ride out by Cottage Grove or Deerfield. Watch out for the combines, however.

  7. I love passing those asshats…cutoff b.d.u.’s and a old wrecked messenger bag full of cheep beer. 20 years of mt biking and cat 3 for life racing…even better. pass, drop,,,stop,,drink beer and watch them pass…then chase em down..

  8. Around here, crabon/crabon Cervelo TTs with crabon wheels are thick as flies. Who the hell has eight grand to drop on a bike that looks so uncomfortable to ride? Anyway, I like to draft tri dorks because they hate it. They’re SUPPOSED to ride on the wind, so I’m correct to never take a pull, right? The down side is that those guys are unused to the pace line and can be pretty twitchy, so you gotta cover your brake levers at all times. The less experienced ones (M$FT dorks, I reckon) will try to ride you off their wheel, apparently unaware of the massive aerodynamic advantage of riding in the slipstream. When they finally implode and sit up, I ride away. Their crabon wheel sound funny. When I pull alongside, I thank them for the lift, but they usually just sneer and drool at me. If they’re having fun, it can be hard to tell. Rubber side down, brothers and sisters.

  9. Ahh, who cares? Ive been riding for a long time. More on mediocre bikes then not thought at times on high zoot machines financed by my 9-5 toils. If you can afford a slick new carbon whip, and want one, go ahead. If you cant, ride on. Let greater evils bother you–not who’s on what or how fast they are going.

  10. This is the greatest thing EVER written in the history of greatness. Being a wisconsinite myself, got a lot of low fun, high stress riders in my neck of the woods. Group rides turn into a big dick contest. What’s your wattage? What’s your average speed? On and on. Just sucks the enjoyment out of it all. Fuck it, I’ll just go it alone and wave hello to every fucker that thinks he’ s gonna hit the Tour like a boss.

  11. lol, I categorize all roadies into one group. If you only ride road bikes–your probably a doucher.

  12. hehe… timely post. I did this exact scenario yesterday on my full steel,monster-cross, rear-racked, fully panniered Vassago Fisticuff (with beer in the left pannier… Left the poor tri-dorks in a burbling state of confusion. I had to adhere to the Vassago mantra “Ride Like the Devil”.

  13. obviously you suck because the guy isnt even using deep dish wheels, look in the shadow of the picture.

  14. So much hate and superiority here. What the hell, guys? Nothing better to do but be angry at newbs with nice toys?

    Here’s a thought: Start with a decent bike. Ride for 25 years. See if you still give a shit how or what other people ride.

    Clue: You won’t.

  15. Don’t get your panties all balled up over a guy that has a good job and can afford a nice bike. There are a bunch of people out there that like a healthy lifestyle, that work hard, earn copious amounts of cash and buy nice gear. If all of us were living the contrived dirtbag bike messenger dream then it would be a boring ass world. Plus, if we were all bike messengers then there would be no successful business people to deliver shit to and no one would have jobs to buy bikes and hipster beers – right? Remember, Rocco Siffredi says “no, no, it is just smellz.”

  16. You have time to pull out your smartphone and take a picture flipping a guy off that can’t see you? Go down to the post office and register yourself as an “official pussy”.

  17. Elbow steerers with Alien helmets and skin suits, no matter where they are, they’re WINNING!

    As for carbon keeping the industry alive? Meh…..

    For real? Hybrids, kids bikes and cheap MTB’s keep the industry afloat.

    The eye candy is just for those who feel like affording it.

    I make far more fixing your bike, regardless of creed, than I do spending 14 hours with you as you weight weenie out, fitting, and still more time listening to you bitch about you feeling the drag from the seals on your bearings, can you switch out to ceramics, should you go Cervelo or Specialized, etc….

    Carbon can die, any time it wants, I won’t miss it.

    Had a guy call the shop a year or so ago. Asked what bike brands I sold that were ridden in the TDF? When I told him none, he hung up. No thanks, no, “what do you sell then”, just, click.

    I’m fairly certain he’s the guy I passed on my way home the other night, doing about 10 mph, grinding away in the 53/11……

  18. Mendon

    you’re right about the entry level bikes and kids bikes making the industry wheels turn, It is about units.

    all my rides are metal, steel mostly, but certainly all metal

    Having worked in a shop for a bunch of years I never liked bench racing, or those who did it, It was always about the wind in my hair, not grams of weight savings
    .
    can’t we all ride Just Ride Along?

  19. I recall Lemond saying something about pretty much anything you buy these days is going to be better than the best bike he rode in his day.

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