Two girls, one Cupcake

I went mountain biking with Cupcake last Sunday. There weren’t any girls, let alone two. But, there was turning and going and pedaling and coasting and dirt and fun.

It was the tail end of a big weekend around my place. We hosted a Star Wars birthday for my youngest daughter on Saturday. May the Fourth be with you and all that. (I’ll spare you the pics. They’re already on Facebook for my “friends.”). Foam lightsaber wars, pin the tail on Yoda, and a Death Star pinata. It was awesome. Capped it off with an ice cream cake from Baskin Robbins. (Oh, and Tecate for the adults.) My in-laws were in town, they’re from Texas don’t cha know. My folks came through as well. It was rock-n-roll good times up at our place. I mean like totally bananas yard-full-of-screaming-kids good times.

Now, truth be told, a lot of us DC boys don’t actually see much of each other. We’re spread all over the place, all the way across the U.S. and even one lucky bastard across the pond in Germany. He tells us of that storied land of beer gardens… I digress. When an opportunity comes up to turn the pedals and/or crack the cans, we jump at it as a matter of course. Otherwise it’s all bits, bytes, and interwebs for us fucktards.

I don’t really even know why Cupcake was in my town. Kid’s on a walk-about or some shit. But, who cares. We were going mountain biking. And, that’s just OK with me.

Cupcake somehow managed to snap this pic of my ass as I was giving it what for on a climb. Yes, my cottage of wattage is supreme.

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The camera flattens the hills. Really. This wasn’t pancake flat. Never mind.

At some point in the day, Cuppy asked me if I had one bottle of anti-freeze and another with windshield washing fluid in it. I think I said yes. If I didn’t, I should have. I dunno. Shit works.

Check out my fucking luddite style bike. Rim brakes, rigid fork, and three piece XT cranks. My shit is old as fuck. OK, six years old. But, in mountain bike terms, that is pretty damn old.

But, you know what? It ain’t the bike. It’s my legs. And my legs ain’t got it. There was some walking involved. I’m not to proud to admit that.

Cupcake snapped this pic too. Yeah. It’s all about him, aint’ it? Fucking jerkoff.

Our trails suck

Our trails suck. I have no idea how I can stand living here.

You would hate it here. I know I do. Can’t wait to leave.

Well, that’s about it. I got three days of riding in last week. Two on the road bike, one on the single speed. My baby turned five and had a kick-ass Star Wars party. I really can’t complain. Except for the trails. They totally suck.

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

5 thoughts on “Two girls, one Cupcake

  1. Nice post. Was just up on your trails “pre-riding” the marathon course for the Flagstaff Frenzy. Awesome trails yes, but holy shit this is one ball buster 52 mile course (tougher than Whiskey). Between climbing Elden twice and nursing my sorry ass down the Hobbit and Little Bear twice while in full vapor lock mode, if still able to prop ass upon bar stool at Charly’s I will be the drunk cranking classic VH and outlaw country on the jukebook

  2. Nice…

    Birthday party for one of mine tomorrow. The ladies will be inside cooing over the one year old birthday boy, while me and the three year old will be out back with the rest of the kids on the pump track. Tecate, a monkey piñata, and a Guatemalan bull snake will be featured. Good times.

    Nice to ear from you again Jonny.

  3. My heart weaps for you. Having gone to NAU, I know how shitty the rides are in Flag. Cant imagine why you stay, poor poor soul. Endure