Tuesdays with Dirty: Sometimes fun stings

Sometimes fun stings, and sometimes you wake up on your living room floor with no pants on, clutching a gallon of water and a tattoo of a bird on your side. It took 4 days of bicycles, booze, and fun to reach this point. How did I get here? I blame Single Speed Arizona.

SSAZ is basicaly a birthday party that Dejay Birtch throws for himself. It has now become the first unofficial gathering of the tribe every year and a really good excuse to do a big dumb ride with friends. This was it’s 7th edition of this party and riders showed up from far and wide. Washington, New York, Minnesota, Colorado, Mexico (both old and New), and Texas. Things always get a little foggy when Texas shows up. Maybe I should blame Texas.

This year I accepted the fact that I had to work and I was going to miss the ride and just go down to Tucson for the after party. But as the event got closer I realized that there was only really one thing for me to do. Show up for work with all my gear in the truck, put in a couple hours behind the desk, and then pretend to be sick. If I hustle, I should be able to get to the course at about the half way point and jump right in with my people, the DFL’s.  A small group of late comers had assembled and we got to the “comfort station” while there was still some comfort left. The scene looked something like this:

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comfort. Photo: Greg

We definitely made  the right decision to start the ride here, as we were instantly treated to huge views and perfect Arizona Trail singletrack. I don’t know if it was the whiskey, the late day light, or a combination of both. But everybody in the group was in awe at the scenery and we all felt pretty fortunate to be on our bikes surrounded by such grandeur.

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The ride was finished with a little bit of hiking in the dark but that didn’t take away from how great it was. In hindsight we probably shouldn’t have made that beer stop so long. But it all worked out in the end. Over 60 riders completed the 48 mile ride and consumed 200 cans of beer, 1 keg, 2 bottles of tequila, several bottles of whiskey, and 35 pizzas. I would say those are some pretty solid numbers for a day of bike riding. When it was all said and done, the only award that mattered was DFL and Chewy and Kerry took it yet again and earned themselves some original artwork by our pal Rudi.

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Remember when I said Texas was the reason? I’m going to have to stick with that.  Kerry Coldhands and Anthony were such great host when I was in Austin a couple months ago that I felt the need to show them an even better time while they are in AZ.  Some Tempe nightlife and Sedona singletrack should do the trick. Little did I know how much I would actually bury myself in the process.

Sedona is always amazing and this time was no exception. We took the scenic cruise, messing around on trail obstacles and taking lots of pictures all fueled by plenty of whiskey and Tecate. I had my first 650b wheel experience thanks to the boys at Over the Edge and a loaner Norco. It was a pretty cool bike and would definitely like to try that compromise wheel size some more. The dirt was perfectly tacky from the recent rains and somebody actually took a picture of me for a change!
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We moved the party back down to Tempe and that’s when things started to get a little weird. What started as just a quick lunch and a pint before a ride at noon, soon turned into a trip to the tattoo parlor and last call. I wish I knew more details, but the only other picture from that day is one of me taking a leak with my pants around my ankles. I thought I would spare you that sight

So that’s how I ended up on the floor. My head pounding, my right side stinging from the tattoo, and one giant smile on my face. I still had about 20 hours left before I had to join the adult world again and that meant time for a hangover ride. I told you a few days ago how that ride went, and that stung a little too.  I have had about a week to recover and now it is time for everybody’s favorite holiday,24 Hours in the Old Pueblo!. Cupcake is making the trip out and there are rumors of a few bars popping up in the desert. We are making some less than serious solo efforts this year and going to try and enjoy the ride a little  more. I really hope I don’t wake up with another tattoo. But if I do, I will just remind myself that sometimes fun stings.

…keep it dirty

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About dirty biker

I am a fan of singletrack, singlespeeds, single malt, and single women. Tempe, Arizona, USA

6 thoughts on “Tuesdays with Dirty: Sometimes fun stings

  1. No doubt, big thanks to the Utah Wookie & Co. for getting me and Nebraska Scott back to Phoenix. That was a clutch part of my four day bender.

  2. Singlespeeders…. the grackles of the cycling community!

    (P.S. That was actually my Fastest Female Award)