A Real Holiday Gift Guide

Well goddamn if Mr. Cupcake didnt knock it right out of the park with last week’s gift guide of bullshit you dont need for the holidays.  Well here at the DC satellite office of my kitchen table I’m of the opinion that we might as well go ahead and give a list of actual holiday gifts for the cyclist in your life.  I’m hoping this serves two purposes, 1.) give you gift ideas for the cyclists you may know, and 2.) allow you to send this list to those who may buy YOU gifts providing them with some fresh ideas.  Okay enough nonsensical ramblings, and onto the list.

1.)  Behind The Stare by Geoff Proctor.  If you follow the American Cross scene then odds are around this time of the year you start to read Geoff Proctor’s name more and more.  He’s the mad genius behind Euro Cross Camp, which allows America’s young cyclocross stars to experience the Euro Cross lifestyle.  Well Geoff is also a fully literate high school teacher in MT, and took some time off to write a book.

Books arent just for nerds and squares anymore.

 

Behind the Stare seeks to convey the essence of modern professional cyclocross—the players, the stories, the insights, the paradoxes, the pulse. The book focuses on the European theater, but integrates the growing American presence in international cyclocross as well. Using the riders and their ethos as a starting point, the story widens to encompass archetypal themes of character, ethics, ambition, and perseverance.

2.) the SHORT of the JERSEY by Shredly.  We’re not just about the fellas here at DC, we have plenty of love and affection for the ladies as well.  If you have that special lady in your life who has grown tired of wearing cycling clothes either 1.) not well designed for her feminine curves or 2.) she would never think to wear for anything other than riding bikes, then look no further.  Shredly has shorts and shirts designed by ladies for ladies, with all the flair and whatnot that will have that female cyclist wearing them for any activity ranging from mountain biking to picking your worthless drunken ass up at the end of a day long brewery by bike tour (if she hasn’t tagged along and drank you under the table already).

3.) Spare cleats for the cycling shoes.  Nothing pisses me off more than having to buy replacement cleats for my cycling shoes.  My cleats always feel as if they have been eroded down to shreds at the worst times (like right after the rent check was cut), and I alwasy seem to forget that they arent as cheap as a new tube.   So stuff that stocking with some spare SPD, Time, or ”insert brand here” cleats.  If you do want to pick up some replacement eggbeater cleats, I would instead advise you to just buy that special someone a spare pare of eggbeater pedals as their current pair will most likely break before the cleats are worn down.

CLEATS!!

4.) Backcountry Research Goodies.  Whether it be an awesome strap, tulbag, or fonbag, any of their products are great for your cycling friends.  I have nothing but positive things to say about my awesome strap and tulbag (and just ordered a fonbag).

Keep your phone and other crap safe and dry

5.) Cycling bags.  Maybe you know someone who tries to commute to work by bike as often as possible, but is still using the same messenger bag since 2002.  Why not pick them up a fresh new bag to carry their spare clothes, some snacks, and still has room to stash a six pack on the way home.  I love my DANK bag, but you cant go wrong with something from Timbuk2 or Banjo Brothers.  If you know someone who thinks that Jay Petervary (or Dirty for that matter) is their spirit guide, the look into some bikepacking bags.  While I’m no expert of the products out there I’ve heard good things about Relevate Designs .

Soo many bags to choose from

6.) Race Entry.  Why not pick up the tab on the entry fee for either 1.) an event which that certain cyclist has entered on a regular basis or 2.) an event which that certain cyclist has been wanting to enter for some time.  Here at DC we are partial to any event put on by Epic Rides, but I will also sugges The El Paso Puzzler as an event that is supposed to fucking rock.  *Bonus points if the race/event does not require a USA Cycling license,y because USA Cycling blows.

Get Epic on the OP

7.) Handlebar mounted bike light. For the night mountain biker or year round commuter.  Nothing helps to extend a riding “season” better than a quality light, whether it is used to get to and from work during the time of minimal daylight, or to facilitate some mountain biking after the 9 to 5 day is done.  The Niterider Lumina 650 is a good choice in my humble opinion.

Illuminate the Night

8.) Sticker Pack.  A cheap and easy gift that can also lead to plenty of shennanigans.  Might I recommend anything from our DC store that says “Western as Fuck”.  You also cant go wrong reminding people to “Carve Slayer” into their forearms after taking a piss.  Just remember that after the gift has been given you cannot be held responsible for where the drunken gift recipient decides to stick them.

The best advice you can ever get while in the bathroom

9.) A gift certificate to a local bike shop (LBS).  Sure this is cop out, but cyclists can be a finicky breed of folk who only want to use one type of drink mix, or wear one type of chamois.  Save yourself the headache of sifting through their two year old chamois or digging through the garabage to figure out what flavor of shot blocks they prefer, and just pickup a gift card to the bike shop just round the corner.

10. ) New beer or whiskey.  Odds are if you read this site you like to tip back a pint of beer or a tumbler of booze every now and again.  There is no quicker way to my heart than a beer, whiskey, scotch, etc that I have yet to try (and hopefullywind up enjoying).

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About 40 Hands

A fan of riding bikes with one gear, malt liquor, riding without knowing how many miles I’ve covered, and strip clubs that let you bring your own keg. I typically have a stupid grin on my face, it is because deep down I know that no matter what, my mom thinks I’m cool. Denver, Colorado, USA

6 thoughts on “A Real Holiday Gift Guide

  1. Revelate designs are exceptional bags. They are well thought out. Mount them up and your brain says “nice!”.

  2. heh heh I got a buddy who will give away his eggbeaters to the first asker… may require some reassembly. I had the same problem with Speedplay, got tired of the cleats self-disassembling out on the road somewhere, gagged on the price of D-A but never looked back.

  3. I agree eggbeaters are not the most durable pedals in the world. One good thing about them- reasonably priced rebuild kits are available and its easy to do at home. I use them for cyclocross because of the good mud clearance, even though I have to rebuild them periodically. I wouldn’t take them on a long tour.