Just a Little Somethin’ To Start Your Mornin’

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Interbike is coming up soon. Here’s a little semi-autobiographical bit I wrote about one Interbike experience I had a few years back.

 I hadn’t meant to ride my bike through Circus Circus. That is to say, I had intended to, because I did, but I hadn’t planned it. It wasn’t even my bike anyway; why the hell would I own a bmx bike? This was Mikey’s bike, but don’t ask me why I was riding someone else’s bike through Circus Circus. Just seemed like the right thing to do, and I’m a man who fulfills his obligations whenever possible.

The amount of pink in that place is enough to make you want to puke up cotton candy on a clown.

 

READ THE REST HERE.

 

Oh, and one last thing: the DC poster is kicking ass all over the world now. Shipped some out to New Zealand, Finland, England, Canada, and even the good ol’ US of A. Click on the photo below to order yours.

Drunkcyclist.com Western as Fuck
The Drunkcyclist Poster: Your Mother Would Be So Ashamed!

 

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About D2

I am a writer and a photographer. I never killed a man in Reno, but I once rode a bike through a casino in Vegas. Bikes are cool, huevos rancheros are for breakfast, whiskey is for dinner. Denver, Colorado, USA

24 Replies to “Just a Little Somethin’ To Start Your Mornin’”

  1. …funny – I rode my bike through the casino of the Stratosphere once & no one even blinked…I just figured they see stranger shit than this all the time…

  2. …hell…sorry to interrupt the love-fest but back (sorta) to the original subject…

    …every year on the anniversary of my heart surgery, i usually find time to swing by the local hospital & take some flowers for the heart & soul of the medical profession, the nurses…

    …hadda drive over this year, (did my late night ride that evening) but i usually pedal & just wheel the bike through the front door, head up the elevator & ride down the hall, straight up to the nursing station on the cardiac ward, bouquet in hand…

    …security has always just looked & noded, i guess ‘cuz they figure if i’m crazy enough to ride a bike in a hospital, i’m a safe kinda crazy…

    …btw…10 years ago, i was on a ride when i collapsed unconscious, ended up in an ambulance, slated for a quintuple (5x) by-pass, so pedaling in to say thanks for keeping me alive n’ upright is pretty appropriate…

  3. “The amount of pink in that place is enough to make you want to puke up cotton candy on a clown.”

    That line is priceless. I’ve been laughing for 1/2 an hour.

  4. BB has a hard-on for D2. Is this like elementary school where you pull the pigtails of the girl you like? You know call her names, shoot spit-wads at her from the back.

    I think BB wants D2 to hold his pigtails and leave a spit-wad on his back while calling him names. Not sayin’ just sayin’!!

  5. Triple T you resent the fact that you are a wanker? Or you resent the fact that AZ called us wankers? The first one is funnier in my head!

  6. Oh. I am so much a wanker it’s funny.

    Plus AZ is a wanker too.

    Hell, we’re all wankers.

  7. hey bottombracket— D2 is trying to work here. Does he come down to the bus stop and slap the dick out of your mouth? Heh heh this is easy.

  8. …ohhh, jeez, i must be a perv…(actually, that’s kind of a given, ya ???)…

    …so now i’ve got this cartoon image of deetwo, beer in one hand, a spliff in his mouth & his pants around his ankles, yanking bottombrackets pig tails & force-fucking him from behind whilst bb, snorting poppers, bucks & screams “…spit on me, fuck me, treat me bad !!!”

    …but deetwo knows, so, at the right moment he simply pulls out, denying bb & using his sidi-ed foot, pushes a sobbing bb face first into the dirt & hopping on his bike & riding away sez “…that’s all you get, you sad little scumbag…”

    …see, this is what happens when you grow up as a young man, smoking dope, drinkin’ beer & reading s.clay wilson’s “captain pissgums & his perverted pirates battle ruby & the dykes” or “the checkered demon fucks with club choad charlie & the hog ridin’ fools”

    …it was never gonna be pretty from that point on…

    …just sayin’…

  9. @bgw

    That was really bad. You should be ashamed.

    Tho I wouldn’t be. That was fucking funny.

  10. hey bgw… that’s some twisted, fucked-up stuff that came from your brain. i suggest getting that thing checked. vile, homophobic, violent-specific sex talk is not cool. what the fuck is wrong with you? geez. yes, we have an issue w/ deetwo’s rampant spew but nothing said justifies your shitspeak. grow up or man up, dude. you’re twisted in the wrong way. get yer shit checked or stop posting while too drunk. you’re a sad fuck.

  11. Rampant Spew. I like that. Maybe I’ll start calling my posts the Rampant Spew. You mutards are full of all sorts of good ideas.

  12. …awww…the pot’s calling the kettle black, ya ???…

    …all you got was a dose of your own medicine, son…

    …a little more creative & certainly more vibrant & extreme than your drivel, so now you’re gonna whine & be a little bitch about it ???…

    …if you’re too thick to ‘get’ what it was about, bottonbracket, maybe it’s time to wake up, ya ???…

    …just sayin’…

  13. …after all, bottombracket, it was “…just a little somethin’ to start your mornin’…”

  14. It’s all my fault. Blame me.

    I farted and BB came out.

    It’s not even 8am yet and I’m already drunk.

    I need a life.

    Anyone got one they can share ??