4th of July Bike Update

First and foremost, happy fucking Independence Day America!

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Go do what you do best you self-ruling crazy sons’ of betches.

Anyways, by now, you’ve probably seen today’s crash at the end of that group ride in France, or heard that Andre Greipel crossed the line first after a disappointing start to the tour.

“I’m so happy today. I am so happy to have those guys on my side, such strong riders to lead me out. This is what we wanted to reach today, winning a stage,” Greipel said at the finish.

Well congrats Andre, you massive and friendly fucking monster.

But I’m not hear to talk about those things. Instead, I want to talk about a few items that perhaps may have flown below today’s radar:

1) Sagan’s Tourminator

2) More bullshit doping drama

3) The diet of an olympian

First off, there’s this kid in town, his name is Peter and he’s a fucking boss. Don’t know if you’ve heard of him, but he’s blowing the roof off the skinny tire scene this year. He’s a fan of America, he was born in the 90′s, and he makes men twice his age look like complete betches. He’s got Cupcake’s seal of approval, not that that means anything..

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Proper

He’ll be back.

Moving forward, Dirty and I were talking about his bike ramblings this morning, and then he sent me this article about Alex Rasmussen being fired by Garmin for “violating the whereabouts system.” I don’t exactly know what that means, but I assume it has to do with him being absent from places he needed to be tested for drugs. OK, whatever. Here’s what Dirty had to say about it:

There are so many cooks in the kitchen; Danish cycling, UCI, HTC, Slipstream, all trying to have the biggest dick. All while destroying this kids life. I wish we could just call him up and be like “so dude, where the fuck were you when the UCI came knocking?” Tell me you were balls deep in a supermodel..”

Well fuck. If only, right?

Finally, the diet of an Olympian. Lea Davison seems like a normal mountain bike babe, with modest beginnings and modest goals. For most of us, our athletic “pursuits” end at the bar stool following a half-assed ride talking shit with friends. For real athletes like Lea, it’s a whole different game. A game that too often sucks the life out of a person, the passion out of their sport, and the thrill out of their journey. These types usually are strapped to their PowerTap. Lea’s been able to keep a level head, finding balance between her professional life and personal life, and making sure to take down plenty of maple bacon cupcakes along the way.

Davison said that she is fueled for the upcoming Olympics by the love and support of her family, friends, and fans, as well as maple bacon cupcakes.

Looks like I’ve found my kryptonite. What, or who is yours? Share it in the comments for some stickies. Class is now adjourned, go grill some beer and shoot some guns, betch.

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About Cupcake

Twisted mind with simple pleasures. A bike ride and a beer will suffice.

33 thoughts on “4th of July Bike Update

  1. The pilots and crew of those aircraft place their lives between you and those who would harm you. A simple “Thank you” would be a more appropriate observation of this day.

  2. …the pilots & crew of those aircraft would look you in the eye at the end of the day & say – “america – fuck ya !!!…now let’s go get a cold beer…i did the flyin’, you do the buyin’…”

    …happy 4th, ALL…

  3. …I’m not sure how the 4th became so militaristic but here I go…

    …Bravo to John Adams…Benjamin Franklin…Alexander Hamilton…John Jay…Thomas Jefferson…James Madison..and George Washington…etc…

    …And my personal favorite…Thomas Paine…

    …And bgw. I hope your holiday sucks as much as you do…

  4. …well, thank you for thinking of me, triple t…

    …personally, i hope you have an awesome evening…

    …enjoy the fireworks…the ones outside your head, i mean…

  5. Pops is so fucking stupid he thinks freedom is free. And yes, I’d be honored to stand those heroes to a round. Again.

  6. are you fuck-tards really going to hijack this post too? There is so much other good shit in there to comment on. Joe, what do you want to be? Tougher, meaner, or more patriotic? pick 2.

    check this out:
    http://www.npr.org/player/v2/mediaPlayer.html?action=1&t=1&islist=false&id=156191910&m=156239319

    It is pretty awesome read out lout..ain’t that just an amazing amount of middle fingers to The Man?
    chill out, amigos. Eat some BBQ, drink some beers and blow some shit up.

    have a great day, boys

  7. …sorry, dirty…

    …seems i draw a lotta ‘dummy rounds’ these days…they get all excited ‘cuz there’s somebody else that agrees with ‘em…

    …i’ve got a nephew who just passed his air force basic training in san antonio…gladly buy the lad & his mates a brew…

  8. @TTT

    Mate,

    expected better of you than that but good on you for fronting up.

    Maybe just dial it back a little.

  9. …dirty…thank you, sir, your nighttime ‘one beer run’ proved to be of great inspiration…got me off my ass tonight for an hour out & an hour back on the onespeed…

    …pedaled in a while ago from sausalito along moonlit bike paths & mostly empty backstreets after watching fireworks on the bay…whilst the local spectacle provided the closeup visuals, over the water, ‘the city’s’ lights & firework display were an exceptional backdrop…

    …but in truth, tonight was about the ride…the pedal down in the early evening was fine but the ride home through the darkness echoed through my soul…

    …the thing is, the 4th of july, while being independence day, is my day of thanksgiving…10 years ago on the 4th, i felt ‘strange’ whilst pedaling to a parade & festivities…i stopped, sat on a wall & ‘bam’, i hit the ground unconscious with 6 minutes to be alive…somehow my subconscious had picked a spot no more than 200 yards from a paramedic station…

    …long story short…a woman saw me collapse & 9-1-1′d the parameds who revived me with 30 to 90 seconds left (their reference), then it was the hospital, tests, diagnosis – hereditary heart condition & on the 9th, i had a quintuple (5X) by-pass…

    …back to tonight, riding in quiet solitude in the moonlight, along a bikepath near the hospital, i stopped in the dark & once again texted my thanks to several friends whose help 10 years ago was invaluable to my recovery…& all the while during my texting, there was soft splashing & ‘quacking’ from waterfowl in the creek…

    …so, dirty…on a night i already consider special, your influence helped to make it that much more mine…

    …thank you…along with my first ride post-op & my first ride to the top of mt tam post-op, this 10th year anniversary ride was one of the more meaningful ones of my life…

  10. I am also a lover of bacon cupcakes. Around here they’re a terrific blend of cinnamon French toast cupcake with crumbled candied bacon on top, then with a dollop of buttercream icing finished with a short stick of candied bacon rising from the icing to the heavens of deliciousness. Tell me you can stop at just one…

  11. I love that song… Fuck yeah! Coming to save the motherfuckin’ day yeah.

  12. Dirty, “…Tougher, meaner, or more patriotic…”? Really? I mean seriously and for fucking real? No thanks, I gotta pass. I just want to be grateful for living in the greatest land on Earth, and to the incredibly brave men and women who serve our great nation and protect our freedom. Got a problem with that?

  13. Freedom is feeling the wind go through your helmet ripping single track for hours.

  14. I have no problem with your nationalism, amigo. I was just calling out the fact that you always seem to have something to prove and hijack just a lot of post with it recently. I thought i would give you a multiple choice question to make it a little easier for you to decide what exactly it is you want to beat your chest about this time…all while making a little mountain bike dork joke by phrasing it like Keith Bontrager’s old saying …
    http://bontrager.com/history/a-brief-history/
    at the end of the day, i don’t really give a fuck. I guess i was just feeding the trolls for a second there.

  15. Keith B? Don’t know him. But as to Grant Peterson or the late and revered Sheldon Brown, put me down in the “what they said” camp.

    Heartbreak Ridge is on. Gotta go.

  16. I have a problem with your nationalism, amigo, and I think you’re a dumbfuck. There, feel better? Now do me a favor and rant on with some bullshit that you presume to know about me, set up that straw man and knock him dead, Joe. Just have yourself a gay old time.

  17. “…heartbreak ridge is on…gotta go…”…nice…joe’s cultural event…

    …the invasion of grenada…america’s finest hour…132.8 sq.mi…that’s like 14 miles X 9.49 miles…give or take a 1/2 shovelful…just sayin’…

    ‘the United Nations General Assembly adopted General Assembly Resolution 38/7 which “deeply deplores the armed intervention in Grenada, by the United States of America, which constitutes a flagrant violation of international law and of the independence, sovereignty and territorial integrity of that State…”

    …it was stated at that time by numerous governments worldwide that “…the United States by its invasion has violated several treaties and conventions to which it is a party…”

    …just sayin’…

    …& before ya start waving the flag & spewing high n’ mighty rhetoric, like your ‘stand’ makes you infallible, amigo, while i wasn’t born here, i’ve lived the majority of my life here & what i love about this country are her people & places…
    …i see that most americans, despite their own problems are willing to step up to the plate & help others out in times of natural disasters & crisis & that’s an awesome trait…

    …but we’re far from perfect & to try & gloss it over with this “…stars n’ stripes, i’m a real american…” mumbo jumbo you project is just fucking idiotic…

    …wrap yourself in the flag as you see fit but don’t fucking hide behind it…

  18. “…” count for the last post = 23.

    23 “Look at me, I’m a douche”‘s.

  19. “…did you have to take your shoes off to count that high ???…”

    OK. Ellipsis or not, that was fucking funny.

  20. Only Pops could take a Clint Eastwood movie and turn it into some kind of OWS rant. Really, Pops? Ain’t ya gettin’ alittle old for them kinds of shenanigans?

    As to #18, I never claimed to be anything other than a humble working man who likes bikes, loves his family and feels a profound gratitude to his Maker for living in a land that, at least for the moment, is still free-That, and a debt I will never be able to fully pay to those who stand and defend it.

    Fuck if I know what kind of “credentials” that requires. Hell, nowadays you can’t even ask to see a green card.

  21. Hyak- FUCK YEAH! Lake Keechelus- FUCK YEAH! Crystal Springs- FUCK YEAH! Stampede Pass- FUCK YEAH! Whittier Tunnel- FUCK YEAH! Lake Easton State Park- FUCK YEAH! Rear tar puncture- okay, could have done without that, but I’ll be durned if that Stan’s didn’t seal it up. Thirty-six miles of lonely gravel- FUCK YEAH! Nachos- FUCK YEAH! Tequila- FUCK YEAH! Bonfire- FUCK YEAH! Milky way- FUCK YEAH! See where I’m goin’ with this? Quit yer pillow fightin’ and go ride your mountain bike.

    PS— How do you know when you need more Stan’s in there? I mean half of it must have spewed out.

  22. I’m gonna take a page from “el ciclisto impuro” and go on a night ride this evening and I’m gonna drink beer until Joe seems like a reasonable human.

  23. Mikey, if it’s holding check the Stans in 6 months (depending on climate you need to top it off 1-2 times/yr). If it’s a larger cut, Hutchinson makes patches that work reasonably well on the larger cuts. You’ll need to take the tire off an clean around the cut. If it’s a small cut, Super Glue or Gorilla Glue will work. Generally, you don’t need to remove the tire for that. Deflate the tire, hit it with a couple of drops of glue and let it sit overnight.

  24. @el jefe— seen, brother. Thanks.

    This tubeless thing remains an elusive beast. Maybe these 29″ Rocket Rons are too light for “every day use.” I gotta say, numerous of my friends stare dumbly at my tars when I say there’s no tubes in theres. It’s almost like I’m one of the cool kids.

  25. Tubeless is the way to go (for mtb). Period. Full stop. Down here, I have to top the latex off 2-3 times/yr, up in the Northern Hinterlands, maybe not so much. I run the Specialized “The Captain” on my FS bike. They are a lighter tire (especially for around these parts, where it’s advisable to have a separate tire budget due to the limestone). They’ve been holding up great. The Maxxis Ingnitor is what I run on the single. They’re a little more substantial, but I have had to replace them more often and they are pricey.

    I’m not sure about tubeless for road. Anyone out there have any experience?

  26. …that was for your benefit only, son & your ‘body of work’ on this site (& others, i hear tell…) speaks much louder than the occasional half coherent shot you’ll ever fire my way, son…

    …& son ???…i’d bet money that most people would unequivocally think you were the older one of us if we were standing side by side…

    …enjoy life, son…stop pissing on it…

  27. So when you decide to dribble a little more latex in the tar, do you have to unmount and clean the entire rim and bead, or can you just pop a corner off and squirt? Also, I hear completely conflicting stories on whether I’ll be able to seat a tubeless tar with a floor pump (as opposed to a compressor). Comments?

  28. Pop one bead off and add a few oz. Never had any trouble. If you are using a UST tire AND rim, then you might get away with a floor pump. I haven’t done it myself, though. If you are using the Stan’s rim tape with a normal rim (and even a UST tire), then you will almost certainly need a compressor and good air chuck. You need to be able to send a shot of air that expands the tire onto the bead a little bit. Non-UST tires and rims are ever-so-slightly looser, and it can make for a frustrating experience.