About bikepunk

“Cuts, scrapes, bruises… all in a day’s riding. Then it’s off for some good german beer in a local biergarten.” Munich, Germany

84 thoughts on “You drinkin’ yet? I am…

  1. …i think the ‘turbo-spoke’ thingy would make that tour de france a lot more interesting if everybody hadda use ‘em…

    …just sayin’…

  2. I now propose the challenge that we have an “illegal” crit during interbike where everyone has to rock the Turbo Spoke on 16″ wheeled bmx bikes with a coaster brake. Who’s down!

  3. …InterBike News – 2020…the bicycle accessories company Turbo Spoke has had the most successful sales program this industry has seen in the last 8 years due to an off-hand, on-line challenge posted on a blogsite known throughout the industry as druncyclist.com back in 2012…

    …from a simple sale of 57 Turbo Spokes that first year, in conjunction with an ‘underground’ bmx crit @ InterBike, sales & activities have mushroomed to the point where Turbo Spokes sales dwarfed the figures posted by both Trek & Specialized & it’s to be noted that the final stage of this years le tour de france was aggressively contested by the turbo-spoked little rockets…

    …millionaire events promoter virgil mutha fuckin rufus spoke with us recently, suggesting that his newly acquired tour of california may soon go to a turbo-spoked format for all stages…said vmfr – “…turns out everybody likes bike racing when there’s a little noise involved…”…

    …stay tuned for more breaking cycling news…

  4. bgw I just spit beer out my nose! That was awesome. Yeah it’s beer thirty here at the ol’ work place. Too Bad the boss isn’t here. I hate/love drinking by myself!

  5. wild fires, deluges, EF5s, anacondas taking over the everglades, a million bark beetles in your backyard, seals in Duluth streets,and now this. the apocalypse is near.

  6. Triple, fucking funny. I got to ask you played with beehives as a kid huh? I did once, when I was ten, my brother got stung so bad we had to take him to the ER. They built a nest in the support posts for our aluminum awning. I hit it with a bat, they came out and went after him. After I got my ass beat I went to the barn and got a gallon of gas. Dumped it down the post at night then threw a lit match down there. They died.

    I forgot what I was talking about!

  7. @Virgil Mutha Fuckin Rufus

    This place has lost all sense of humor. Very sad. Very sad indeed.

    And I’m allergic to bees asshole. They make me puff up and I have to pound down anti-biotics for a couple weeks.

    So fuck you and the Walmart bike you rode in on.

  8. Work ethic not withstanding, I’m fucked when it comes to bees.

    Uncle Chopper is priceless except for that mustache. WTF ?

  9. …truth is, virgil mutha fuckin rufus, that’s totally a cool fun idea & you could actually pull that off @ interbike whether you got official about it & did it in conjunction w/ the evening crit or cx race or really did go the ‘outlaw’ route…

    …there are always ‘industry’ races supporting the main events wherein the serious racer types from various companies come out to battle for bragging rights but the bmx bike ***turbo-spoke smoke*** would be for the serious fun types…3 laps, bring your own bike, turbo-spoke supplies the card units (you KNOW they gladly donate product) & damn, it’s on…

  10. To me, much of the charm of a bicycle and particularly a fixed gear is the silence and the simplicity. I’ve already got enough noisy, smelly gasamabobs in my life.

  11. …such eloquent prose, such heartfelt feelings, surely you’re now the true voice of cycling itself…praise be to you, joetheplumber or electrician or whatever it was…

    …however we’re talking (a)- about a kid’s toy & (b)- about ways to unwind in an industry which is more pressure filled than most folks would ever realize & where the majority of those involved in said industry absolutely understand & appreciate “…the silence & simplicity…” of cycling by doing just that but also love a chance to get a bit loose & boisterous amongst their peers once a year…
    …alcohol may be involved…

    …virgil mutha fuckin rufus, your idea still stands as a cool fun thing to do…

  12. @Hurben It’s uncle Chopper time! I wonder if Denis Leary stole some of his ideas from Chopper like he stole from Bill Hicks. Borrowed or not, he’s still funny. The Doctor is in the house.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=onqG5OqiilA

    @TTT the video that I think you MEANT to post is this one, about Australian Philosophers.

    “this heyuh is the wattle, the emblem of our land. You can stick it in a bottle, you can hold it in your hand”

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_f_p0CgPeyA

  13. …so big fabian ‘spartacus’ cancellara wins le tour’s prologue…nice…seems like a decent chap, ya ???…

    …&…(pause) the usada has unanimously decided to press charges against cancer jesus, the hog & others…

    …can one be convicted of hubris & being two-faced ???…the doping thing is a whole other issue ‘cuz “…back in the day…” it was considered the way to go, by what, 97% of the sport ???…

    …to who, exactly, would those victories actually go to ???…who could honestly stand up & say “…ya, i’m the rightful victor of this particular tour…” ???…step forward when the time comes & show us your chutzpah so we can all laugh & speculate which 143rd place domestique was likely the first ‘un-doped’ rider & thus the real winner in each & every case…

    …personally, i’d just like to see our 7 time tour ‘winner’ stand up & honestly be accountable to his real followers, the cancer survivors & their families ‘cuz it’s pretty evident that most cyclists get the picture, at this point…

    …ya wanna be “…the man…” then it’s time to be a man & step forward & hold yourself accountable…

  14. …thank you, sir & to be honest, the obvious comparison had escaped my sensibilities but now that you’ve brought it to bear, i would definitely go with mr herman…

    …no way could the other guy tame a bar full of bikers with such grace…

  15. “…pressure filled…”? Really? You make toys, for the love of God.

  16. Chris, if there was even the slightest shred of substance to that idiotic slogan, the roadways would be littered with the wreckage and bodies of Gold Wings and their riders. Loud pipes are simply “LookatmelookatmelookatMEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!” Okayfine, Evil Knievel, I got it. You’re here. You’re on a murdersickle. Whooptie-fucking-do.

  17. …toys, huh ???…wow…i dunno what others see when they read your inference that bicycles are ‘toys’ but i find it goes a long way in explaining why i think you’re a fucking clown…

    …what an honest to god moronic comment to make but rather than take the time to refute even a smidgen of it, i’m perfectly delighted to let you wallow in your own ignorance because you wear it so bloody well…

  18. Ease up there, pops. Bikes, for many of us, are playthings. Do you REALLY need the latest dualsquishcrabonfibreelebenteenspeedtwennyniner to go to work or the grocery store or the train station? Such as that are playthings, or you’re a damned liar. They exist primarily to line the gilded coffers of the velo-industrial complex, not that there’s anything wrong with that. You can bring that shit in from China all day long; fine with me. But it ain’t like you’re defusing bombs or doing open heart surgery. You might want to check your self-importance at the door next time you come around.

    Jeeze.

  19. I kinda sorta almost agree with Joe on something here. Two points, actually:

    1) As a motorcycle rider myself, loud pipes don’t mean shit. They’re just loud. I’ve been hit many times on a bicycle and almost hit just as many times on a motorcycle.

    2) The bike industry IS quite self-important. While I wouldn’t go so far as to call bicycles toys, I think the industry has really over-embraced the whole “bikes can change the world” thing. I love bikes. I think they can solve a lot of society’s issues, particularly when it comes to infrastructure. But we’re not performing heart surgery when changing a derailleur cable. Our jobs, by nature, tend to be pretty low stress.

    Just my two cents. Now I’m going to shower because I feel dirty agreeing with Joe.

  20. +1 to D2.

    I’m heading for a shower as well.

    Irish Spring is what keeps me going.

    joe on the other hand can go fuck a moose.

  21. …you wanna talk “..check your self importance at the door…”, huh ???…wow !!!…

    …the ignorance you espouse as wisdom has little basis in reality…you can pretend all day with your make believe “…know it all…” attitude but you have a totally limited perspective on what makes up the bicycle industry that is fucking obvious…

    …the vast majority of bicycles sold in this country & around the world ARE of a simple prosaic nature & ARE used for transportation, recreation or health & fitness…your implications ring hollow because you don’t know what you’re talking about…

    …if you wanna participate in a ‘discussion’, start researching real facts & figures instead of trying to bullshit your way through things…

    …btw, you calling me ‘pops’ is fucking hilarious…of all the folks who blog on this site, nobody & i mean, nobody loves to espouse an ‘old man attitude’ like you…you thrive on it…

  22. …& while wrenching on a bike may need nothing more than knowledge & a good work ethic (hopefully), the industry itself, like any other is based on dollars & cents & where money is involved, the pressure is there…

  23. …wow, joethefuckingclown, somebody sorta kinda agreed with part of something you said…

    …how unusual for you, ya ???…

    …you must be on an all day high…

  24. Nah, folks out here in the real world agree with me all day, every day. They even seek my advice. But that’s the real world. Your mileage may vary.

  25. …you have such a limited repertoire of standard lines & platitudes, all to justify your ignorance…

    …& whatever that ‘cutesy’ clown/baby talk bullshit coming out of a grown man is about, i’ll never figure out but that’s your legacy…

  26. @D2

    My fav “Acronym Maker” gave this:

    Lake Interior Ballad
    Lump Isotope Building
    Lounge Inbred Burrito

    Personally I think the 3rd one is the best.

    You’ve always struck me as a burrito.

    Nothing personal.

  27. I like Lounge Inbred Burrito. I think that’s a fair assessment of my personality. Let it be known that I am a LIB.

  28. Now we just have to discuss and figure out what the fuck is a Lounge Inbred Burrito.

    Cause I have no silly clue. And I seen all of Monty Python’s stuff. I should know better.

  29. @el jefe

    Grassy ass.

    I’d never seen all of that skit.

    It’s even better now.

  30. Fukit, I once more forgot that more than 2 URLs in a message require one of the list Gods to approve it, so yeah, if the deities could do the honors, (& that’s spelt wrong, it should be Honours, like the rest of the English speaking world spells it, oops sorry, y’all speak ‘merican).

    To make y’all feel better, I’m rocking out to Neil Young, “Americana”, the best album that he’s done in several years, just brings a smile to my face.

  31. @Cap’n Tony

    I’d forgotten all about that skit. Thanks for the reminder.

    No poofters.

    Bwhahahahahahahahaha.

    @Hurben.

    After a life of truly hating classical music I’m suddenly on a kick about it. Not sure if I’ve matured or gone brain dead but this is what’s rocking me right now.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Af372EQLck

  32. @Joe I work in this industry, for a manufacturer and distributor, and while my job does not save lives exactly, there is a pressure there. Maybe it is due to my work ethic or my sense of what I do can affect others it puts a metric fuck ton of pressure on me. Calling bikes toys and only pointing out the top percentage of the industry with carbon this and downhill that shows you know shit about the industry. Majority of bicycles manufactured and sold in the world are used as commuter bicycles. Majority of the bikes sold are way under your benchmark. I bet you, average bike price sold across the world is less than $1000. Calling em toys insults what people actually do with them. I commute to and from work with them. All the guys my company sponsor make a living with them. My family gets fed because of them. So they are little more important to some us than toys.

    Now with that being said are there a great deal of fuckwads out there who think that what they do is on par with saving lives or dodging bullets. Oh yeah! I tend to ignore them. They are the same fixie assholes who run lights and ride against traffic screaming they have the right of way.

    Now going back to what you said about the “noise” and your fixie. I thought it would be fun to throw an asinine event with people who like to drink and do ridiculous shit., and a product that makes no sense in my mind, along with bicycles that none of us could probably fit on. You ever had those ideas? Done something stupid for the fun of it? Or have you always sat on the sidelines and criticized those who did? I bet when everyone else went skinny dippin in the water hole you sat there and told them how they were gonna get leaches or your prefer your pond because the water was purer. Instead of getting in on the fun and making some great memories. Nope all you got is your fixie, Mrs. Joe, bless her soul for putting up with you, and your look at life. Now if you don’t want to have fun at my party thats fine you don’t have to come, but if you want bring everyone else down and point out your superior intellect or Old Man Zen ways, there’s the door, don’t let it hit you in the ass, and you might not want to touch it, it might have a small amount of liberal on it from some of the guests who do like shit like that!

  33. @Triple. Now I know what to get you for Xmas. A head bag with bees. Oh you said you were allergic. Well then a nest of wasps it is!

  34. How about a nest of tramps instead ??

    That sounds much better.

    Well. Except for the whole VD part.

    But I rather die that way than being stung by a fucking bee.

  35. …virgil mutha fuckin rufus…i’ll be there with bells on…you know it…

  36. Wonders if Joethe… has ever been banned from a certain cycling publication’s web forum? There is a lot of the same sentimentality being spewed forth from this poster as from that guy. He is an electrician too that rode/rides a fixxie (on rail-trails).

  37. Everyone who spews hate at joe about being a “lonely old ignorant asshole who only has his wife and his fixed gear and his damned simple lifestyle” are sinking just as low as he is when he talks his close-minded political rambles or stubborn conservativeness.

    To each their own, i always say.

  38. Buz you are correct. Why I usually never respond. I just got fired up today!

  39. …& buz…personally, i agree with you 100%…

    …i’m guilty as charged but sometimes, someone has to stand up & point it out when there is a ‘misrepresentation of facts’ (polite term) & there needs be accountability…

    …if i’m rude (& i am) it’s because that misrepresentation of facts has happened regularly over the years & there is never ANY accountability when it comes to joe…

  40. “…if i’m rude (& i am) it’s because…” Talk about misrepresenting facts…You are rude because it is your nature, sadly you feel justified by whatever the reason of the day is.

  41. YYDN, I’m 99% certain you are correct. I haven’t decided whether he actually believes what he writes, or whether he thinks he’s making some Kauffmanesque joke. I try not to get sucked into it anymore. It’s not worth the energy, and when he takes his turns into wingnuttery, he doesn’t need any help making his statements look insane.

  42. …ya know, guest, you’re one of these guys where all i really hear you say anymore is “…blah, blah, blah…” but i’m sure you’re used to people perceiving you that way…

  43. @Pops aka bgw.

    I liked you at first. I can even remember defending your use of “…” to the annoyance of practically everyone.

    But now…you’re an arrogant, useless, sack of shit.

  44. …gee whizz…joethefuckingclown, guest & triple t…combine all that intellect & it still only comes up with “…blah, blah, blah…”

    …just takes longer to say it…

  45. …triple t…you might wanna seek help, son…you kinds sound like the type who could go ‘postal’…& i’m not taking about a cycling team…

  46. gawd the ellipses let it go man.

    oh i’m sure that conversation is like a decade or two old though but shit let’s get this thread to 100

  47. …ya, i’m likely gonna do that, right ???…

    …hey, look – 80…

  48. Thanks for the Pops-to-English translation, guest. I will enter it into my lexicon.