In this issue:
—An Interview With A Bike I Both Love and Hate
—What’s a Party Without Some Pity?
AN INTERVIEW WITH A BIKE I BOTH LOVE AND HATE:
Welcome to the Sunday Spore. I’m your host and King Spore, D2. Today we’re chatting with a Yeti Bicycle. Yeti, I’ve had the opportunity to build you and sell you, and I have to say, I think you’re pretty swell. But I’ve got a bone to pick with you.
YETI: Nice to be here, D2. You’re looking extra Spore-y today. What’s your bone? Let’s pick it.
D2: Well, Yeti, it’s this right here:
What the shit is that, Yeti?
YETI: Well that there is my internal cable routing.
D2: Uh huh. And can you tell me what the hell that’s for?
YETI: It makes me look sleeker!
D2: Uh huh. And what does it do for your functionality? You know, practical purposes and such?
D2: See, I’ve worked on a lot of bikes, Yeti, and I have to say you’re one slick looking bike. You ride damn well too. But it took me about an hour longer to build you just because of this silly routing.
YETI: I think that’s a bit of exaggeration there, D2. I mean, internal routing isn’t that big of a deal.
D2: I would agree…until you see this:
Would you mind explaining to the audience what they’re seing here?
YETI: Well that’s my strategically designed pivot near my bottom bracket shell. Oh, and the end of the internal routing. That there black thing, that’s a harness for the housing.
D2: Yes. Audience, take note of the awkward angle at which the housing exits the chainstay and then routs through the harness. Also take note of what’s missing in this picture: The front derailleur and crank. Because you have to take them off to route the cable and housing properly. That’s right: you have to remove these components just to change a cable and housing. What do you say to that, Yeti?
YETI: Well, I hardly think—
D2: I bled for you, Yeti. I BLED FOR YOU!
YETI: You’re not blaming me for that, seriously? That could have been caused by anything! A chainring! Even a zip tie!
D2: Oh, it looks like we’re out of time. Yeti, I trust you’ll be heading back to the mothership to report back on our interview today? You know, to tell your bosses that while you sure are a pretty bike that rides real nice like, you’re the bane of every mechanic far and wide, not to mention Yeti owners who dare attempt a new cable and housing installation—you know, one of the most basic repairs one can make.
YETI: Now listen here, D2, I don’t think you’re being fair—
D2: We’ll see you all next week, folks, when Cantilever Brakes revisit the show.
So you may have noticed that I never did part 2 of my Niner One9 review. Funny story, that. The bike ended up going back to Niner prematurely because of a technical issue, but it has returned and has been ridden. Part two of the review will be happening this week.
Rest assured I’ll have more gratuitous bike photos of this sweet Niner as well as a detailed review of its pros (of which there are many) and its cons (of which there are only a few).
WHAT’S A PARTY WITHOUT SOME PITY?
On the heels of the Niner debacle, I posted last week about the Gunnar getting sold and my inability to replace it. Lest that be construed as a pity party post (perhaps it was to a degree), let me say that I am taking big steps to change how my life’s been going. Big Jonny got hit by a car and was almost killed; in some weird way, that led him to law school. My life has been something of a trainwreck these last few years, and while I would never claim to have gone through anything half as traumatizing as Jonny’s ordeal, I have, like him, come to some conclusions as a result of this stress and struggle.
So, I’m going back to school this fall to fill in the gaps on my resume. The more I think about the absence of a mountain bike in my garage, the more I am motivated to move on. To get better. To think smarter. As Bryce used to say to me at AZ Bikes when I’d fuck something up or be stumped by a repair, “Work Smarter, Not Harder.”
I got really stoked on going back to school after reading (and re-reading, then re-reading again) the Master’s thesis of one Mr. 40 Hands. The guy may be a Drunkcyclist, but he’s also a smart bastard who dedicated a lot of time and energy into improving himself. The result? Gainful employment and a generally good life…at least that’s the way it appears outwardly. Correct me if I’m wrong, Mr. 40.
That said, both of my remaining bikes—the road bike and the commuter—are on the block for sale. I’m willing to go through this, because as anyone who has raced a 24 hour race can tell you, the struggle is what makes us stronger, better, faster, and generally more reliable on the other end.
I’ve also been fortunate, since the timing of the Niner’s return could not have been better. I rode it here in the Springs yesterday on a little four hour jaunt, and I must say, the D2 was pleased.
In next week’s issue of the Sunday Spore with D2: THE OFFICIAL PART II OF THE MUCH ANTICIPATED NINER REVIEW! STAY TUNED, SLUTS AND HOs!