About dirty biker

I am a fan of singletrack, singlespeeds, single malt, and single women. Tempe, Arizona, USA

20 thoughts on “Big Jonny sent me an e-mail

  1. I am moved to tears. Just spent an hour on the site, getting the fixie out tomorrow.

  2. so I’m late to the party, been outta town, you know, riding and stuff. Anyway, I have an awesome Drunkcyclist anecdote:

    Me and my buddy Jim rode up to my friend’s house for dinner. (This is at Snoqualmie Pass WA.) I had some tequila, about a six-pack of Thai malt liquor and split a bottle of fancy Burgundy with the steak oscar. So it’s about midnight when we roll for home.

    No lights, no helmets— it’s only 1.5 miles and loses 150′ vertical. It’s in the 40s, cloudy and the road is wet. Basically pitch fucking dark. I’m coasting along, dabbing the brakes to keep from sucking too much spray off the road. 10-15 MPH. Well, thank god for going slow. I get down to the base area at Ski Acres, where there is one lonely streetlight burning, and stop and wait for Jim. And wait.

    Dude finally rolls up. Blood running down his face, down his legs. He rode into the back of a lowboy trailer of a parked semi— never even saw it coming. Lucky as hell, cuts and bruises. We checked, all his teeth were still in and stuff.

    So now that I’m in my fifties, maybe I should learn not to ride drunk without lights in the pitch dark. Chya, right.

  3. …ummm…(1)-dark, (2)-low n’ dark & (3)-drunk ???…

    …see post #16 for explanation…worked for me…

  4. Speaking of dark, we bagged the 2.4-mile Snoqualmie Tunnel today after a 2+ year closure. (Yeah, I had a light and a helmet.) There was a wagon train having a meltdown in there. WTF, a wagon train in a railroad tunnel? An 18th century solution to a 19th century problem. Then I had to pass a clump of 80 slow-ass cyclists by riding on the verge of the trail on an unsprung bike. Beers at the golf course in North Bend. A stellar day in the North Cascades.

  5. …mikey…you asked it yourself…a wagon train ???…in a train tunnel ???…

    …did you perhaps pick up a medical marihuana card the last time you were down this way ???…

    …just, you know, sayin’…