Who doesn’t want a coozie a month?

Last week I got a “help me spread the good word” email from Cory up at Dank Bags:

Hi there, sorry to solicit you, but just throwing it out there that I now have a coozie of the month club on my website. Im not one to really self promote, but maybe there is a drunk cyclist out there that may be interested? Hope the grad school is going well.

-Cory

Stevil mentioned Coozie of the Month club earlier this week, but for those of you who don’t follow AHTBM (and for the record you should), here’s the low down.  75 of your hard earned dollars get’s you a coozie a month, and these are some high end coozies.  Some of you may remember, that Cory was kind enough to take an old pair of my DC socks (I even washed them because Cory seemed like a nice enough guy), and hooked me up with a 40 oz and a 12 oz coozie.  Since the DC coozies are currently out of stock, this is your best option to keep your drinking hand warm, and your booze cold, in style.  You might be thinking, “why do I need a new coozie every month?”, the answer is because you like booze, they are awesome coozies, and they make great gifts.  Remember Mother’s Day is just around the corner, and nothing says “thanks for giving birth to me”, like a coozie.  Same with college graduation season, and what better way to send a 21 year old into a shitty job market than with a present that is alcohol related.

Picture 3

Much better than a paper bag

Picture 5

Field tested, and approved by Flat Stanley

Picture 4

Works on a 12 oz can, if thats your style.

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About 40 Hands

A fan of riding bikes with one gear, malt liquor, riding without knowing how many miles I’ve covered, and strip clubs that let you bring your own keg. I typically have a stupid grin on my face, it is because deep down I know that no matter what, my mom thinks I’m cool. Denver, Colorado, USA

35 thoughts on “Who doesn’t want a coozie a month?

  1. Not that I should say anything (having been recognized since 3rd grade as one of the worst spellers ever) but I think it is spelled “cozies”. “Coozies” seems a bit sexual in nature and inappropriate if you are talking about your mother. I could talk about your mother’s coozie but won’t since I am a gentleman.

  2. Gentlemen of breeding will tell you that a proper beer is best enjoyed when served in a pint glass. But I suppose what happens in the trailer park stays in the trailer park. At least I sincerely hope so.

  3. A dear friend of mine who has been a winemaker at some of the top wineries in CA insisted that the drinking vessel didn’t matter, AS LONG AS IT ISN’T FUCKING PLASTIC. (His emphasis). I believe this to be true for good beer as well. He also believes that there is no such thing as too much stainless steel, so I think he knows what he’s talking about.

  4. So you’re sayin’ your buddy shotguns it straight out of the box?

    Awesome.

  5. ‘Scuse my ignorance, el jefe. The ways of the trailer park are a mystery to me, with the coozies and the trucker hats and the NASKKKAR.

    But good beer is best enjoyed in a proper class, and at a proper temperature according to its style. I will not be moved from my mark in regard to that point. Too-cold beer, served in can or bottle, prevents the senses (both taste and smell) from capturing the full bouquet of flavor and aroma.

    But that’s probably a good thing, given the swill that will likely end up in those foam abominations.

  6. would also look good tipped against the curb next to my limp passed out body covered in piss.

    … or that was just a flashback to my last 40 experience.

  7. i regurgitate. ugh. 40 Hands has the moniker because he is a hard, hard man… and the custom coozies to prove it.

  8. I’m done with all this talk of trailer park beer acoutrements. For all your swagger and false bravado of being “Drunkcyclists”, it seems you know less that my cat (who at least prefers a proper ale in a proper glass to canned beer) about beer and its rich lore.

    Over and under.

  9. I’m with poppa 40. It’s cozies. Never seen the other spelling in all my years.

    Tho regional differences might apply.

  10. @Joe, cant remember myself (or the other DC contributers) claiming to know a whole bunch about “beer and its rich lore”, most of us simply know how to purchase and consume. We drink what we like out of the container we prefer.

  11. 40, not unlike the guy on the WAL*MART bike who flashes a toothless grin and says “I just ride”, yes?

  12. My father, a fine aerospace engineer with the finest Eastern European breeding (ok, ok, he was a German born in Poland) was known to whip out the cozie to sip a beer while on the boat that we used for waterskiing when I was a kid. I can’t really imagine him steering that thing while pouring his beer into a Chimpint glass.

    Granted, when I was older I found out that drinking and operating a boat (or driving a car, lawn mower etc.) were not supposed to be simultaneous activities, but what can I say… the man loved his beer. Guess that’s why he had three bars built in the house, including a beer tap he installed through the fridge into the wall for one of them. He was a man who took his beer quite seriously, but he was not above using a cozie on a hot day.

  13. HAHA Chimpint! That was supposed to be pint. A very sick LowBrow is laying in bed with a cold… and typing, thinking and drinking Nyquil at the same time is proving to be difficult.

  14. So “Beer ain’t rocket science” is what you’re saying, dear? Of course it’s not. It’s an art.

  15. “@FFF – been thinking about you. wondering how you were…..and its coozies. :)”

    Hey judi. Thanks for asking. I’m sweating it out again like you are. Day 2. No detox this time, just a friend with the eyes of a hawk. Hope your doing well in that current struggle of yours. Fingers crossed that we both figure this shit out one of these days.

    And I googled coozies. Seems overall you’re right. Asked my bro and he spells it my way. Maybe it’s just a weird 70′s era Jersey thing. Or maybe it’s just all the Jersey waste-dumps affecting the water and fucking up our heads. Either way I learned a new word today so life can’t be that bad.

  16. @fff, hey, day 2 is better than day 1 – yo. keep up the fight. im thinking about you. im onto day 8. xxoo.

  17. In the mother land it’s called a cüzie. Since they’ve been around longer, I suspect this should be the end of the discussion.

  18. Try again, Stevil (if that’s your real name). Here in The Land Of The Free we speak English. Look it up in your Funk and Wagnalls, whydontcha.

  19. Yes! Referencing, knowing, or using other languages is a direct threat to our freedom! We must only know of one language, as opposed to other nations, where people are fluent in their native language, and often one or two others (typically English!)

    U S A ! U S A !

    If yer not speaking English, you are a terrorist!

  20. I like Natty Bo ..in a can.. because its cheap and im trying to save up for that Matt Chester frame. I dont need a fuckin’ coozie cluttering up my fuckin’ house, much less twelve or more of them..i dont care what the fuck it says on it.. Thats how I feel about cuzies or whatever…