Zip Zag

I’m sitting square in the middle of my third winter well south of the snow line. I’d be lying if I said I missed it.

And, while I’m knocking gin splashed ice cubes off the sides of this glass and spitt’n shit all over the keyboard, I wanna say fuck that “you gotta earn it in the northland” attitude. Shit, son, you gotta earn it down here in the Valley too. You seen our summers? Shit is awful. Straight up hell on earth. I earned every mile I pedalled last year. All fucking twelve of ‘em. Suck it.

Make every third one black 'cuz you a killa bee.

Make every third one black 'cuz you a killa bee.

I got this one fired of to me in a email from solamalos. Read the rest here: lifehacker.com. Looks like it’s about the cheapest way to get your beer run and/or booty call on and still represent low dollar to the fullest. One per spoke, most cat’s can do this with about 60 zip tiles. The failure rate must be ridiculous, so just cop a hundred pack down at Ace Hardware and get on with it.

Of course, for all use idiot luddite guys still holding caliper brakes, v-brakes and worse – this ain’t gonna work. Me? I’ve not got one bike in the garage – and there are over twenty – that would work with this system. Even my three fixies have caliper brakes. I like modulation (that magic space between forward movement and skidding), call me crazy.

Yeah, I know. Disc brakes are on my horizon. I simply cannot avoid the inevitable.

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

7 thoughts on “Zip Zag

  1. “I earned every mile I pedalled last year. All fucking twelve of ‘em. Suck it.”

    Priceless. Fucking priceless.

    Happy New Year BJ.

  2. thats like my buddy brendan (he of the back-alley-lolly … prostate massage) who remembers his wasted youth in montana where they would insert thumbtacks through the tire (remove tube, insert tacks yadda yadda) to create impromptu snow tires on their bikes. all in the name of.. what… ? beer runs? pussy? im sure he had a good reason. just watch out for the impaled ass.

  3. I just go to Galls here in SF and get a pack of police zip ties (100 for $100) but they’re indestructible.