Far East Report

From: Response
Subject: um
HK is genius in they made it super impractical to own and operate a personal car.

HK are fucking idjits because they made it super impractical to own and operate a bicycle.

The army o’ taxi drivers are fuck ups. A lot of them have repetitive stress related disorders from driving in the super fucked up traffic. One foot onna gas the other on the brake. They got this hurky-jerky thing going on with the sewing machine foot onna gas pedal. Watch em swerving down a straight stretch of road like they’re trying to dodge imaginary cats.

I can get car sick in less than one block. If they were delivering boxes, the boxes would complain.

So, I gets a part time job onna HK island. The subway at 6 o’crock looks like the mosh pit at a Metallica concert. 1 train comes and goes every minute, but only a hand full of the crowd can mash their way through the door. Kinda like Tokyo but different in a sleazy friendly way. I can see the glazed, desperate look in the other two white guy’s eyes who are literally up to their armpits in a writhing sea of Asians. They look at me like “hey man, do you know what the fuck is going on here?” I look back at them like “can’t you see I’m wearing sunglasses underground at night aaannnddd I smell like marijuana?”

Yeah, I know what’s going on.

facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestmailby feather

About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

One thought on “Far East Report