Well well well.
Turns out I’m a drunk cyclist, too.
The good Gnome invited me along for the ride, so here I am, making post number one here on DC. My name is D2, and I’m a writer (read: bike mechanic), a teacher in Arizona (read: bike mechanic), faux-musician (read: bike mechanic), and most surprising of all, a bike mechanic (read: broke mo-fo). Let me start off with a brief manifesto:
–I believe that if you fish a 1978 Sears no-name frame out of the dumpster, you should be obligated to put the damn thing together yourself. As a bike mechanic, I think you’re a d-bag if you make me do it, and frankly, putting your own shitty bike together is a privilege and a wonderful learning experience. It only works if you EXPERIENCE it. I intend to make you experience it.
–I believe getting hit by a car while riding a bike sucks. But I also believe that a douchebag is still a douchebag if he’s on a bike. Help your own cause. Don’t ride like a douchebag. I intend to help you determine whether you are a douchebag.
–I believe our world would be so much better, stronger, more understanding, less intolerant, and better equipped to handle day-to-day stresses if people read books more. As a novelist (working on UNPUBLISHED book number 5), I am obligated to say this. But surprisingly enough, I actually believe it. I intend to make you want to read more.
–Macallan 12 year. If you know what it is, I intend to drink it with you. If you don’t know what it is, learn it. Use it. Enjoy it. Save me a glass. I wouldn’t say no to a good cigar, either.
–Lady Gaga sucks. Stop listening to that shit.
–This is no longer a manifesto. It has descended into incoherent but possibly somewhat amusing rambling, which is what Drunkcyclist.com has been in the past and should be now. Can someone do a brotha a favor and hit us up with a picture of a boob or something?
–In 2006, stickers and t-shirts started showing up in Flagstaff, AZ bearing my likeness. On buildings. Street signs. In bars. On women’s backs. I had nothing to do with it. But I’m still amused by it. Call it ego. Call it douchiness. You’d be right, I’m sure. But come on, look at that face! The finest introduction I can give myself on this website…
In closing, here is a picture of the Gnome that I find amusing.by