A second ride in two days and other dumb stuff

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Got back out for another hour today. Some may find a 42 x 19 a little on the easy side. I, on the other hand, find it remarkably challenging. Should I mention the wheels are built x 36 on shitassold Campag hubs in serious need of attention. The tires are steel beaded and the tubes are thorn resistant. They are heavy and they are solid. Pushing them over is like operating a wheelbarrow full of cement. Perfectly appropriate for my present state of mind and physical condition. Don’t think, just keep pushing. I am not here to think.

The Italian Stallion
The Italian Stallion

That kid coming toward me in the red shirt on the BMX bike; he was smoking a blunt. Go forth and conquer, young lion.

I tooled around as tool such as I is prone to. Check out these two houses I rolled by. First guy has a great big chair and a moose. the chair is higher than the roofline of his three bedroom, two bath rancher. Note the mini-van in a state of mid-repair. You may not be able to tell from the pic (a little dark) but the rear wheel has been removed and the car is just sitting on a hydraulic floor jack. No axle stand, no block of wood. Just the jack. It was exactly the same when I rode by it yesterday.

Nice. Stay classy, North Phoenix.

A really big chair and a fake moose.  I have no idea.
A really big chair and a fake moose. I have no idea.

The guy right across the way is holding his own. And then some. He’s got several, well, fake horses. I don’t know what else to call them. Statues? Sculpture? Tributes to American Freedom? That and a wishing well.

When you really, really, really, really like horses.
When you really, really, really, really like horses.

I thought the green astro turf pulled over a pile of rocks really brought the whole thing together. These two gems must be holding down the property values for the entire block. Maybe even a square mile.

What will tomorrow bring? I’m almost afraid to find out.

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About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure. Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

19 Replies to “A second ride in two days and other dumb stuff”

  1. I’d say those two yards are brining UP the property value. Their neighbors should feel lucky to live next door to such visionary artisans that manipulate normal objects turning them into grand works of art for the whole world to see!

    The car on the jack for multiple days? Definitely Dadaism at its finest.

  2. Let this be a lesson in the value of curb appeal. you’d have otherwise just galloped on by those joints, drunk on your cement wheels, Sir Thunderbubble.

  3. Supposedly odd numbers are more appealing to the eye, not sure odd shit has the same effect.

    I’ve got a miniature moose head mounted, see if dude’s willing to make a deal for me.

  4. I especially like the pink scalloped yard border on the second house. Sweet.

    The tires. I remember riding and dealing with the thorns back in the day. Just brutal. Din’t have the same tire/tube technology then.

  5. Big Jonny –

    I recognize that house with the giant furniture that I ride past it _all_ the time. I had not idea that you were kickin’ it near us in NoPho. I thought that you were more central for some reason. You should also check out the “Hobbit House” off 44th st just north of Greenway. I can provide pics if desired.

  6. Not entirely, joe, I’ve slain some pretty big ass swamp rabbits, but I’ll be damned if I’m gonna have it mounted. Maybe mounted as in fried on a plate with some biscuits and gravy for breakfast.

  7. Australian artist David Engwicht would call that traffic calming. Drivers slow down to ogle those yard galleries.

  8. Mountain Bike mag.

    Rodales mountain version of their road bike porn mag called Bicycling.

    My name is John and I subscribe to Bicycling.

    I’m sorry.

    Page 34 to 39.

    BJ really needs to clean up that gayrage.

    Just saying….

  9. so is it the rum or am i totally inept at finding this digital repository of the so-called bicycle magazinnnne…

    tell me it’s the rum please. or provide me a link and put me out of my wife’s misery.

  10. That shit isn’t a joke. phoenix really is that shitty, from one border to another. I lived there for four years. It was a nightmare, I feel like a war vet. I moved there to turn pro, I got hit three times in four years. I will not ever be able to wrap my brain around that desert town. Wretched is the score I give it. And the people there are even worse. phoenix is a hive of cockroaches. When I go to Coachella next year I will be driving around, via the route through Canada. If you can imagine the worst parts of life.. move to phoenix, thats where misery came from. Fuck off phoenix. I know what hate is, and I hate phoenix, and all its habitants. Down with the DC you live in phoenix. Sorry man, phoenix is that bad. You blame lawschool. I went to LS in Denver and it wasn’t bad at all. AZ makes everything bad.

    Fuck all y’all

  11. Damn sl…maybe you should’ve moved to Scranton? Ask Joe Biden about it sometime…