Taper madness – not so much.

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I got an email from the race director for this up coming 12 hour that is in 4 fucking days:

Just a reminder that all racers must have a functional rear-view mirror. It can attach to your glasses, helmet, hand, bike, elbow, earlobe….we don’t care. However…we’re dead serious about this – No mirror…no race.

Are you fucking kidding me? Seriously? A mirror? D-O-R-K-Y. If I have to wear a helmet mirror I won’t let anyone take my picture.

I am getting so excited for this long ride. I have no idea what kind of mileage I can pull in 12 hours. My little girlfriend Claire is coming down from Boston to race with me. She’s going to smash some records. The girl is wicked fast and beats the pro’s in triathlon on the bike. She likes to slap your ass as she’s passing you. I think we’re going to have a blast. After the race she’s coming back to stay the weekend with us before heading back to Boston.


Today OB had me doing a 3 hour ride which was totally unexpected. I didn’t have anything planned so I got the miles in. My legs are tired.

lime green tape

I am loving lime green at the moment. My CX bike is getting ready to be broken down and painted lime green. My Kenda director is hooking me up with some lime green cable housing to match my lime green tape. I like gaudy.

This one’s for Dirty Biker. One of the Cincinnati Roller Girls. She’s smokin’.


Biggest CX races happening right here in Cincinnati this year.

Have some Cake.

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About Judi

Bicycles are my salvation. They are my way of life. If you don't like it, then you can go straight to hell. Cincinnati, Ohio, USA

28 Replies to “Taper madness – not so much.”

  1. prop a mirror on the top tube up by the stem— you look down, and back between your legs. slick. aero. non-dorky.

    Oh, and ride fast.

  2. Judi,

    you can get Mirrors that plug into your bar ends, the touring riders down here love them & they don’t stand out at all, go bug your LBS.

    I think that the ‘have a ball & kick arse’ bit is a given, but I’ll say it anyway.

  3. …okee dokey…now that we’ve got that training & mirror stuff out a’ the way, let’s get back to eatin’ or listening ta cake w/ roller derby girls…

    …do i have ta get tats ???…’cuz i do know how to skate (old hockey guy) & i’m definitely not gay (not that there’s anything wrong w/…blah, blah, blah)…

    …derby is kinda crazy, nutty “laugh your ass off” fun & skating on that banked track is frickin’ cool…only got to do it once, many moons ago but man, it rocked !!!…

  4. I feel a Jim Croce moment coming on…

    Gonna tell you a story that you won’t believe
    But I fell in love last Friday evenin’
    With a girl I saw on a barroom T.V. screen
    Well I was just gettin’ ready to get my hat
    When she caught my eye and I put it back
    And I ordered myself a couple o’ more shots and beers

    The night that
    I fell in love with a Roller Derby Queen
    Round and round, oh round and round
    The meanest hunk o’ woman that anybody ever seen
    Down in the arena

    She was five foot six and two fifteen
    A bleached-blonde mama with a streak of mean
    She knew how to knuckle and she knew how to scuffle and fight
    And the roller derby program said
    That she was built like a ‘frigerator with a head
    Her fans call her “Tuffy” but all her buddies called her “Spike”

    You know that

    Round and round, go round and round
    Round and round, go round and round
    Round and round

    Well I could not help it but to fall in love
    With this heavy-duty woman I been speakin’ of
    Things looked kind of bad until the day she skated into my life
    Well she might be nasty, she might be fat
    But I never met a person who would tell her that
    She’s my big blonde bomber, my heavy handed Hackensack mama

    You know that

    Round and round, go round and round
    Round and round, go round and round
    Round and round

    The man rocked!

  5. Throw an F U at the mirror requirement. Clamp one on to the seatpost like a hipster fixie break lever.

  6. Judi,

    I have a Fat Tire Ale beer cap helmet mirror that might fit the bill for a Drunk Cyclist. Yeah…mirrors are high on the dork-o-meter, but one made from a beer cap, definately less dorky. It’s yours if you want it. Dork!

  7. Mirror?
    Just ask your money back and do another race.
    If you accept these stupid conditions, well, don’t be surprised if you’ll see them more and more often.

  8. Why not just put a bell on and use vocal command like when we were in kindergarten .” Johnny , ding ding ding , here I come ready or not , move your tricycle the fuck out the way , I coming for like speed racer !”

    You gotta be kiddin me ! A mirror . Keep your eyes glued on the track and dont look back ! Rules !i hate em …….

  9. okay, mirror hatas—

    We can assume that Judi’s race runs at least partly on open roads (that’s the only reason I’m familiar with for requiring a mirror). I run a temple-mounted mirror every fucking road ride and I watch every fucking car every fucking second. I haven’t been hit yet, and I’ve got, what, 10,000 miles banging elbows with angry, distracted SUV drivers here in Pugetropolis. Stay safe out there.

  10. The reason why they’re being made to have mirrors is because the women can’t do the head swivel without changing the line of the wheel. Think I’m wrong? Rode with some women lately?

    WOMEN: Practice turning around without changing the line. MEN TOO.

  11. @Truth Hurts

    Yes, I have & they consistently shred my legs & rip me a new one.

    They are a joy to ride with.

    You’re full of it.

  12. With regard to Jim Croce, any man who can rock a moustache like that as my admiration.

  13. A nickel sized helmet mirror will not prevent overlapped wheel related mayhem. So, that concept fails from the word go. I can’t believe for a second that only women are being asked to toe the line with a mirror.

    Is that the case?

    And, as one who has been tagged (rather hard) by a car, I can say this; even if I had seen it coming, what could I have done? What could anyone have done? Dive over the guard rail and hope for the best?

  14. @jonny – fuck no thats not the case. EVERONE wears a fucking mirror or you don’t race. and we got one from our LBS that attaches to my bar-ends.

    @18 – get the fuck out of here. YOU are an IDIOT. i’d probably TRASH you on a bike and if i couldn’t, i’d find another WOMAN who could.

  15. I always was a bit squirly in the pelican. If I ever needed to look back, I’d put a hand on the shoulder of any chap along side me. That way, I stay inline with the flow.

  16. lauren n judi..tell him ladies. i’ve ridden with plenty of women on road and mountain that can hold their own with the best of ’em, and ride circles around plenty of dudes. I’ve also ridden with plenty of douchebag know it alls (guys)who always seem to have a lot of shit comin out their mouths (without saying anything of importance), but can’t hold a line or ride a bike for shit.

  17. I’ve never ridden in no pelican. Mostly alone, either to get somewhere or just out on a bike to mend my ragged soul.

    But anyone who’s got the chops to ride like that, be they he-male, fe-male or other, has my respect. I just wanted to say that.

  18. …’truth hurts‘…beautiful blog name, dude…what an amazing fucking dichotomy you’ve created for yourself considering that your brainless head is up your ass & you have a mouth full a’ crap…

    …but, hey, the ‘truth hurts’, right ???…good call…

    …oh & btw…if you address the issue of other cyclist’s habits on anything other than an individual basis, you’re being ‘clue fucking nada’…gender ain’t got nothing to do w/ it…

    …but you have such a personable way about you, i’ll bet you encourage a lotta people to take up the sport, right ???…good on you, mate !!!…

    …just sayin’…