Fuckface: If this was your objective, you got what you wanted.

Some fucking asshole decided to sabotage the bike path by sprinkling a lot of broken glass in little piles for 30 feet, all over the path, and then cover it with leaves. I called the police and reported this behavior last week. They sent someone out to clean up the graffiti but left the glass. It is impossible to go around this evenly spread out mirror glass. Today, as I was riding along after buying groceries, I came upon the glass again, stone sober.  I tried to stop too quickly and crashed, losing front wheel control in the debris. If I knew who did this, I would tie this person down and carefully insert every piece of that glass into his skin. I doubt the scumbag that ‘sabotaged’ the bike path reads this blog, but if you do, come knock on my door, would you? 1825 Laventure, Mt. Vernon. You like to play with broken glass? I got plenty of nice pretty glass in my recycle bin for you. WWound 004

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About littlejar

5 - Learned to ride in paved alley behind liquor store in Lowell. 16 - Road bike riding alone while peers do soccer practice. 18 - First new road bike bought with winnings from Project Graduation. 20 - Burlington VT. Nuff said. 22 - Joined the Air Force. 23 - Joined team Fair Wheel in Tucson - rode the Shootout. 24 - Rode El Tour in under five. 26 - Toured to Quebec City 28 - Toured Oklahoma to Vermont 30 - Found my dream bike - a 1989 58cm LaBan (#22) 32 - Experienced Minneapolis and saw BIKE CULTURE. 34 - Building my first bicycle frame, with a self made jig. USA

10 thoughts on “Fuckface: If this was your objective, you got what you wanted.

  1. let me know if you get the guy tied up. I have some ideas involving broken glass, honey, a broom stick and a couple of rabid raccoons.
    Hope you get better, that the stone sober state is a thing of the past. I live in CA, but would happily go there to help with the douchebag in case

  2. I’ve got one glass of wine in me, so the stone sober is now sponge sober. OK, so I went to the PD and showed them my little boo-boos, and told the motherfucking cop (I like to use those 5 syllables, they sound GREAT together) told ‘em they need to do something about this, as I’ve seen no police presence on the bike path in months. I use it two times a day to avoid getting killed on the busy, bike non-friendly main road. They said they’d send someone to clean it up. I think there’s probably NO FUCKING WAY to catch the prick that laid this trap, if I had told the cops that someone was smoking weed over on the bike path, they’d be over there in a second with backup. Seriously – they wiped out the graffiti (a lot of work) but left the broken glass. FUCK!

  3. Better recipe for revenge – Ingredients:

    1 fuckface
    1 big fucking roll of duct tape
    1 chair
    1 large box
    1 wire coat hanger
    1 North American Bobcat
    Your favorite adult beverage

    Step 1: duct tape fuckface to chair
    Step 2: cut hole in bottom of box just large enough to fit fuck’s head
    Step 3: insert fuck’s head to box and secure with duct tape
    Step 4: whoop bobcat’s ass with wire coat hanger till good and pissed off. Note: don’t take this as animal cruelty, because this step can probably be by-passed… see, just mere human interaction with a wild bobcat will be enough to get them good and pissed. Anyway… if anyone figures how to handle a bobcat without getting shredded themselves…please feel free to chime in. (welding goves and kevlar vest come to mind)
    Step 5: place pissed off bobcat in box with fuck’s head and duct tape box shut
    Step 6: enjoy your adult beverage while 25 pounds of pure TNT shreds fuck’s face.

    That’s how you would do it back in Tennessee.

  4. Sounds like things here. Clear packing tape and piano wire strung across the trail at neck height was one of my favorites. Getting used for target practice by kids with bb guns. Had one evening they busted out the underpass light on the path and stacked blocks across the trail on a blind corner. Cost my buddy a fork, front wheel, 2 teeth and a collarbone. Cops could care less. I only hope to catch one someday…

  5. Wow, that’s a mean abrasion you got there, you might need a Scooby Doo bandaid. Here are some solutions to your huge problem: ride around the glass, walk over the glass or sweep it yourself. Find a bigger problem to bitch about.

  6. You’re right – it’s not THAT big a problem. The sore knee bone hurts about 10x worse than the abrasion. The broken glass piles keep happening on the same path, and if I brought a broom every day with me then I’d be temporarily solving the problem. The thing that pisses me off most is how the cops ignored me. They don’t have THAT much to do in Mt. Vernon.

  7. As I recall Mt Vernon was the place where the mayor gave the key to the city to Glen Beck, leaving it to the citizenry to have to change all the locks. The mayor is a fucktard.
    Anyway, keep up the vigilance, don’t give up hope in finding the culprits. Also, just venting on a public forum such as this helps. We feel your pain brother.

  8. yup people messing with bikes sure gets annoying. some ass clown stole my xtra cycle the other nite and when i found it, right where a friend said it would be, down in the ghetto housing area, they had snapped the wide loader off.. i sure would like to jam it up there ass then out and smash there face in with it, aaah well

  9. 29 days and counting. I just sold the AEGIS with a wheel downgrade for $600. I’m back down to two bikes and the wrecked Crown Vic is becoming a good car.
    Happiness is Count Vermin in my rear view mirror.

    “God left this place long ago.”