Grocery outlet sherry – how to make.

I hurt me.

I fucking had this fucking bike fall on my head today, in a parking lot, on a frustrated search for new sunglasses. My first time taking this rig out after lovingly (and with great effort in a no-bike shop town) building it.

Lame as shit, I pushed on a cleat that was not attached at the same time the chain skipped, thusly threw myself down, and my bike whipped around and clocked me on my helmet-less head.  I’ve been a little fucked since that one.  Anyone want to buy a 57cm carbon fiber bike with Dura Ace down to the hubs?  I think I like my Columbus SL and Campagnolo way way more.  Anyway – Don’t drink and ride.

This bike:  $1000 FOR SALE

57/36 mavic/DA 8/Aegis/Kestrel

57/36 mavic/DA 8/Aegis/Kestrel

Grocery Outlet Sherry:

4 bottles of $3 or less wine, available at GROCERY OUTLET.

one empty bottle of wine

freezer

Distribute the 3 liters of wine among the 5 bottles.  Re cork, half way.  Freeze for 24-48 hours.  Remove and let thaw for about 10 minutes.  Pour off into a screen (to catch the slush) all the remaining liquid.  It is 3-5 times stronger than normal wine.  Discard all the slush or use it as cooking wine.

Now you have a bottle of poison:  Grocery Outlet Sherry.

Put a helmet on when doing fast, dumb, or unusual shit.  Your hands might catch the street but your bike can smack your skull.  (I found out)

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About littlejar

5 - Learned to ride in paved alley behind liquor store in Lowell. 16 - Road bike riding alone while peers do soccer practice. 18 - First new road bike bought with winnings from Project Graduation. 20 - Burlington VT. Nuff said. 22 - Joined the Air Force. 23 - Joined team Fair Wheel in Tucson - rode the Shootout. 24 - Rode El Tour in under five. 26 - Toured to Quebec City 28 - Toured Oklahoma to Vermont 30 - Found my dream bike - a 1989 58cm LaBan (#22) 32 - Experienced Minneapolis and saw BIKE CULTURE. 34 - Building my first bicycle frame, with a self made jig. USA

18 thoughts on “Grocery outlet sherry – how to make.

  1. I’ll take your tires….but other than that I can’t help you out on this one. At least we all learned something (no, not riding with helmets. The sherry!)

  2. Anybody remember that song from the 90s “I wish I was a little bit taller…” Well…if I was, I’d be all over that rig…been wanting full-crabon for quite some time for the roadie…

  3. Oh God Yes. Forgot the “artist.” Probably the first and hopefully last mention of him in these hallowed archives… :)

  4. Deliberately concentrating ethanol (whether by freezing or distillation) is illegal without a federal license (easy to get for making bio-fuels, more complicated to get for vodka making).

    That being said, when is the last time a federal agent looked in your freezer?

  5. The BATF does not knock. They kick down the door,m shoot the place up, burn it down, and then start asking questions. “Yeah I got a warrant, I keep it in my shoe.”

  6. The author of this post hereby attests, under penalty of perjury:

    The ‘recipe’ or ‘suggestion’ of deliberately concentrating wine into stronger ethanol beverage is for theoretical purposes only. The intent behind this is for scientific inquiry only. In no way does the author suggest storing, drinking, making, or sharing such liquid matter aforementioned.

  7. “The ‘recipe’ or ’suggestion’ of deliberately concentrating wine into stronger ethanol beverage is for theoretical purposes only. The intent behind this is for scientific inquiry only. In no way does the author suggest storing, drinking, making, or sharing such liquid matter aforementioned.”

    Damn.

    You actually had BJ give you a declaimer ??

    Bitch.

  8. The disclaimer:
    IT WAS A FUCKING JOKE. And BJ had nothing to do with it. I can write legal crapola too. Alcohol – - – - – - – - Make it, drink it, store it, share it.
    JUST CAN’T SELL IT.

    Fuck, Wild Bill…
    I just searched HIGH and LOW in US code and I can’t find nothin’ ’bout freezing wine being illegal. You find it and let me know… I’ll be right here sipping on some STRONG moon-shine.

  9. What goes on between a man and his deep freeze is nobody else’s bidness. And I’d have the ATF jackbooted thugs in my crosshairs LONG before they got into door kicking range.